This is not an AIBU, I have posted on the SEN legal but reposting here for more traffic and hopefully some sensible advice. This is a difficult post to write. Please bear with me, I will try to keep it concise.
My daughter, 15, ASD diagnosis attends a specialist independent school as a residential student - after a hard won battle with the LA.
We were overjoyed to get her here after two failed placements, (one mainstream and one resource base), and two long periods of non-attendance together with lots of school induced trauma. It was as near to perfect for her as we could have hoped for.
Last December, at the end of her first term there, I received an email from her residential key worker saying that she and one of her male peers (16) had engaged in consensual sexual activity (she touched his penis and he penetrated her vagina with his finger.) Staff initially felt she had fabricated this incident stating in the email that the peer is 1-1 and supervised at all times except when in his room and all students are supervised when together in communal areas. The boy was denying anything happened other than kissing.
It was investigated and I was told on January that investigations were complete and staff practice updated as well as deciding to do 'mediation' between the two students.
She was not on site from December until last week due to Covid. Two days ago, the peer tried to physically attack her. She was removed to another residential house for her own safety. The residences are registered children's homes but we have no social services involvement, her place is funded by education.
Yesterday, both young people involved stated that the incident of sexual activity had happened. My daughter is saying (for whatever reason) that she coerced the boy into it. This apparently is why he is angry with her.
Today, they decided that on Monday, she cannot attend school and will be 'educated' in her room with a TA.
I am told the boy is home with his parents this weekend and they are deciding how they want to proceed - which could involve the police. At this moment we don't know what will happen.
What happened shouldn't have happened. If staff had followed procedure and supervised them, this situation wouldn't have arisen. They were apparently in a communal area, not even in his room. (Bear in mind in December they denied this could have happened because the students were supervised). Clearly they weren't.
I feel school bears some responsibility and accountability here.
Both students are vulnerable, lacking in social skills and knowledge of relationships.
I'm not in any way minimising what's happened or my daughter's part in it. I'm so scared...my mind is just leaping forward to all the 'worst case scenarios'. She'll be asked to leave the school and won't ever get another one, she'll be taken in to care, she'll end up on the sex offenders register and all the ramifications of that for relationships, work opportunities etc in the future.
Realistically, what's likely to happen to her?
And what should I be doing / what questions should I be asking? ( apart from the obvious why did staff fail to provide adequate supervision)