AIBU to ask my daughter's primary to school to not hold their non-Uniform day next Thursday to collect money for the National Autistic Society

[Wills]

I know its a pain to change dates and there are bigger issues etc. But seriously! Using April Fools day to collect for individuals that often struggle with humour and are often picked on as the butt of jokes just seems extraordinarily insensitive. I have 3 autistic spectrum children and they don't think this is funny!

@OrangeSamphire

The whole concept of a ‘non uniform day’ for my autistic child always led to anxiety, stress and an inability to actually go to school that day.

A non uniform day is not the best way to show understanding of neurodiversity. At all!

My autistic child actually likes non uniform days.

Autism covers such a diverse range of issues that you'll never be able to please everyone.

OP you probably already know this but so many NT parents of autistic children don’t get the autistic experience at all. It really sounds like you do, and are tuned in to how your children think and feel.

There are many other ways the school could show understanding and support for autistic people that don’t involve a non uniform day on April fools day. Or a non uniform day at all. Or donating the NAS...

The school probably thinks it’s doing a nice thing. But perhaps they could just run a non uniform day anyway, but disconnect it from Autism Awareness Week/Month (which a lot of autistic people don’t support anyway).

And then talk to them in more detail another time about raising understanding of neurodiversity in other ways among the kids, teachers and parents?

Parenting a child with ASD is hard. I can't imagine how difficult caring for 3 children with extra needs can be. It's ok to feel sensitive and need to blow of steam from time to time OP. I hope you manage to have a good weekend.

My first reaction was that you’re massively overreacting, because I don’t think it being April Fool’s Day is particularly relevant, but you are raising a good point.

If a school wants to raise money, and presumably awareness and understanding for Autism, then it does seem insensitive and misguided to do that via a non uniform day. I’m sure many of us with children with ASD will know that they often don’t like non uniform days for reasons associated with their Autism.

I expect it being April 1st is an oversight nothing else. Probably too late to raise concerns.

So basically the school tries to do something nice (often the charity is chosen by the pupils) but it's the 'wrong' sort of autism charity, the 'wrong' day, and the 'wrong' event.

Seriously, who'd be a headteacher?

Multi days are virtually always in the last day of term. There's absolutely no reason for anyone involved to have overthought the date (which was probably in the calendar for mufti day long before the charity was chosen)

Ironically as an autistic adult this made me laugh out loud 😂

Mufti days, even. Autocorrect doesn't like the word.

Seriously, who'd be a headteacher?

Mostly very well intentioned, hard working people. Who sometimes act on misinformation or are misguided, like any human.

Sadly, a lot of well intentioned misguided words and actions are exactly the problem. And I’m sure a good headteacher would be open to a conversation about how to more effectively understand and support autistic people in the future.

[quote HowLongTo2022]@itsgettingwierd - that’s made me smile! My DS is similar. He has learnt about puns and using words with more than one meaning and uses them constantly now followed by “get it” and explaining why it’s funny [/quote]
It's great isn't it?

I often forget my ds can't tell what someone's thinking by looking at them or sensing the tone.

The excitement he feels when he susses something we take for granted is infectious.

And I love that he's confident enough to give him new found skills a whirl

@OneInEight

It is more an irony that they are using a "dress-down" day which is an activity many children with an ASC find incredibly stressful as a fund raising activity for the NAS.

Yeah that's a point!

Although my ds found dress down better (uniform was a sensory nightmare!) he also got very wound up with kids pushing or even breaking the dress down rules by wearing clothes not quite in keeping with their dress down clothes day.

Dress up days in the other hand ...... 🤔