Going home for holiday without my daughter

[Unsure1010]

My partner and I are from another country. I have lived here for 15 years, have a 6 year old daughter who I share custody with her father. We have a relatively good relationship (her father and I) and make parenting decisions together.

My partner has a big birthday coming up next year and wants to go home to celebrate. It’s a 12 hour flight. His family and my parents are both out there still. My daughter will be in year 2 and her dad doesn’t agree with taking her out of school, particularly in a SATS year - which I support and respect.

Am I being unreasonable to be hesitant to go, as it will be during term time, and I wouldn’t be able to take her with. We’d be talking about probably 2 weeks or so. She’s desperate to see her grandparents, and they her. He’s very unhappy about it and can’t understand that I don’t feel like I could go without her, so I just need to know if I’m being unreasonable here

But there is no reason to go in school term time other than a boyfriend birthday. That has nothing to do with the dd.

Even if the trip is for a birthday, it could be shifted to school holidays. That is what parents do, prioritize the children. That this is not a parents birthday just shows that it’s not important enough to miss school.

With Covid and borders potentially closing, I wouldn’t grant authorization for my child to cross the border without me in or out or school term time. No trip is worth the risk of possibly being separated indefinitely. I wouldn’t count on it being calmed down enough a year from now for that to no longer be a concern.

I can't get over year 2 being sats year - jesus christ it's not a big year!

YANBU to be hesitant.

A so-called 'big birthday' can be marked later on in school holidays, and as someone else has noted, any trip abroad in the foreseeable future does have the risk of restrictions on travel back home.

Incidentally I would not be taking children out of school for a holiday for the next couple of years given the amount of face to face teaching that they have lost. Out of consideration for teachers and all they have had to manage given the pandemic, and also to avoid any resentment amongst other children.

My child would come first not a boyfriend so he goes alone if he wants to celebrate an adult birthday and I would certainly reevaluate any relationship where the children are seen as not important.