To think that DH shouldn't use the same terms of endearment for me, his mother and sister?!

[Triffid1]

Slightly light hearted as it's in no way a deal breaker, but DH will call me things like, "my love" or "beautiful" but will sometimes use similar endearments when talking to his mother or sister. Whenever I hear it, it grates. AIBU? I can't work out if it's because I think those terms are inappropriate for a mother/sister or if it's because I feel he should have different terms for me?

I think a grown man saying to his mother “hi beautiful” is borderline creepy tbh. Does he also say stuff like “hi sexy!” to them too?

Sorry but YABU. It's not like it's a pet name for you, they are generic terms. I think it's quite sweet actually.

I don’t think any man should refer to his mum or sister as beautiful or my love, that’s just weird!

He calls his mum and sister beautiful?

I'm trying to 'hear' the conversation in my head, where my brother calls me 'beautiful'

Nope. Not happening

@ShirleyPhallus

I think a grown man saying to his mother “hi beautiful” is borderline creepy tbh. Does he also say stuff like “hi sexy!” to them too?

"Sexy" would make my question go from "I'm mildly uncomfortable with this" to "WTAF?"

Glad it's not just me.

@GillBungalow

I'm trying to 'hear' the conversation in my head, where my brother calls me 'beautiful'

Nope. Not happening

Good point. My brother too.

But, it does have to be said that he is very close to both of them and they rely on him emotionally a great deal (luckily, not in a way that causes me any issues in that he always puts me and our family first, but definitely more than a lot of men I know, including my brother and mother).

🤢🤢🤢

I call nearly all my family, friends, DH, pets etc "my sweet". I doubt your DH means it completely literally, more just a habit!

They are just terms of endearment. Beautiful does not have the same connotations as if he said, "How are you doing, you sexpot."

I'm with you OP. My DH calls his mother, sister and grandmother beautiful as in hi beautiful. I find it weird and finally cracked when he went to write it on a card. No. It's just wrong!!!

It’s a bit depressing that people would find it weird for a man to call a relative beautiful.

I would find that a bit creepy, too, sorry.

I can't believe this is an issue, even a lighthearted one. Your poor dh. He sounds great, you have too much time on your hands.

It’s not the same as saying, ‘You look beautiful’, or at least it doesn’t feel that way to me. It’s the sort of thing I would expect to hear from a partner, not a family member.

My sister calls everyone beautiful. The cat, me, my kids, her kids, my husband etc. I could not get worked up about this. Probably different if it wasn't a relation.

Lots of prissy princesses on here who must be the and only person of significance in their partners lives. He’s not saying “oi you sexy bitch” to his mum or sister is he???

I call my husband, mum, sisters, kids and close friends hun - I don't see a problem.

Same with babe (not my Mum on that one).

We all have our staple terms of endearment.

My brother has only ever called my by my name or an expletive (when we were kids!) He calls our mum 'mum'.
DH doesn't have a sister but again just calls his mum 'mum.'
'My love' and 'beautiful' sounds condescending a weird.

Sorry I should have said; to call your mother 'My love' and 'beautiful' sounds condescending a weird

Beautiful is an odd term of endearment to call your sister & mother.

However, I don't think "love" or "dear" are, particularly in some regions

Sorry, not at all weird to me. 'Alright beautiful?' ( said in the voice of Danny Dyer) just v informal.

I understand where you are coming from. My DP uses the same 'terms of endearment' for me and for family members and even colleagues at work. Early days, when he first called me something like that, think along the lines of 'my sweet' or something I thought oh thats so nice. Gave me a little warm fuzzy glow that I was his ' my sweet'. Then 2 days later he called a bloody colleague it.

I know I shouldn't have thought anything of it, but I admit I was a bit disappointed that what I thought was a lovely warm term of endearment for me was clearly just a generic term for him. He calls everyone it (female). But since getting to know the family better they all call everyone that.

Is he from London or Essex? Everyone in my family called everyone ‘my love’ or ‘beautiful’ (think Danny Dyer levels of cockney) when they were alive, so I wouldn’t think twice about it.

I call my sister beautiful a lot (like "hi my beauty") - I think it's weird that anyone would think that weird. He clearly doesn't see your beauty and his mother's beauty in the same way but he's allowed to think other people he loves are beautiful too