To think that DH shouldn't use the same terms of endearment for me, his mother and sister?!

[Triffid1]

Slightly light hearted as it's in no way a deal breaker, but DH will call me things like, "my love" or "beautiful" but will sometimes use similar endearments when talking to his mother or sister. Whenever I hear it, it grates. AIBU? I can't work out if it's because I think those terms are inappropriate for a mother/sister or if it's because I feel he should have different terms for me?

I think it's wierd using terms of endearment for parents and siblings at all tbh. My mum calls me babe and it proper grates on me but I'd find it super wierd for DH to call his mum that, he calls her "mother".

@Tinydinosaur

I think it's wierd using terms of endearment for parents and siblings at all tbh. My mum calls me babe and it proper grates on me but I'd find it super wierd for DH to call his mum that, he calls her "mother".

See I think calling your mum ‘mother’ is weirder.

My brother and dad call everyone darling (but more cockney sounding - darlin’) or babe. I’ve never questioned it!

I do this with my husband and my mum! I didn't notice, it was my husband who pointed it out to me. I think it's just because they both have a place in my heart. It's not a sexual name or anything like that.

Eh?? Don't be daft!

It's a term of endearment he's hardly sexually propositioning them

My dad calls me and my mum the same nickname (sweetheart) and I don't find that weird at all. I think you're weird for finding it weird

You think that’s bad???
My dh calls me and the female cat and dog the same endearments - my love, my beauty, my darling.

And I may be imagining it, but I think there is a touch more tenderness in his voice when he says it to them! 😃

I agree with a few PPs I'm from East London and live in Essex, alright beautiful, sweet cheeks, love, darling etc very very common to anyone, wife, sister, mum, customer in the fishmonger... (Last time I heard sweet cheeks and it was said to a woman a fair way over seventy) , my aunt messaged me this morning starting with 'morning gorgeous' , I completely understand it's over familiar to lots of people and it's not language I use myself not even to DH, but wouldn't strike me as creepy or odd.

I say good morning gorgeous to my niece

If it makes you feel neglected ask him to find different terms for you other than the ones he calls other close female relatives.

People are just getting weirder and weirder

It's fine for your Husband to use these terms for all of his loved female family members. I don't suppose his Mother or Sister mind his terms of endearment, and neither should you.

@Triffid1 Depends on the exact words.

Honey, sweetie, lovely, darlin', etc is OK. Sexy, or sugar-tits, cute ass bitch is a bit different.

All that said, I think a man who is hugely close to his mother and sister(s) is usually a bit of a catch. They often make better husbands, and better fathers.

I call everyone in my family who are younger than I am "Sweetie".
From kids up to 20-something. Mostly because I can't remember all their names.

It's a bit odd him calling his mother and sister those names. My brothers usually call me charming names such as "bawbag" 😂😂 and they don't call our mum anything other than mum!

I think it's both misogynistic & lazy.

I feel like it’s weird for mum but not for sister? But I guess I’m biased as I’d answer the phone to my sister with ‘hey my love’, ‘hey gorgeous’ etc.

You’d hate being married to my DH, he and his mates have a bit of a competition about greeting each other in an overly familiar way, I regularly pick up his phone if it buzzes to see ‘hey sexy ballballbags’ or the like in his group chats

Some people call all sorts of others, "My love", "Darling", or "Dear".

It used to drive me potty when my husband called his mother, "Grandma"; I would say, "She is not your grandma, she's your mother so call her 'Mum'' ". He carried on regardless. At least he didn't call me, "Mum".

I’m a mum of little boys and it’s my dream for them to say “hi beautiful” when they’re bigger. I doubt they will but just like the mum on the goldbergs I’d be thrilled!

I think it's both misogynistic & lazy.

Haha! What the fuck? Please explain this as it's way over my head

@Sprining

You think that’s bad??? My dh calls me and the female cat and dog the same endearments - my love, my beauty, my darling.

And I may be imagining it, but I think there is a touch more tenderness in his voice when he says it to them! 😃

Come to think of it, his most effusive endearments are reserved for the animals. And he definitely has referred to the cat as "you sexy beast" in the past!

@littlepattilou DH is, in fact, a great husband and a wonderful father. So... that's true.

I totally get all the sort of East London/Essex references but no, that is not DH. Not even slightly! But I appreciate that it's clearly not completely and bizarrely weird. As I pointed out in my OP, it's not like it's a huge issue for me, it just sometimes sounds odd to me. I'm not really complaining.

DH calls his mum and sister beautiful in our language -eg hi beautiful, hi gorgeous. I think it’s fine.

As others have said, creepy. Why on earth would be call them "beautiful"?

I call people at work, friends and family Love on occasion, but I call DP My Love if I use an endearment.

Because he is - they aren't.

DP calls me Darling - he'd never call anyone else that!

I call my cat the same term of endearment as I use for my dp I probably mean it more when I say it to the cat

Oh and my ds calls me beautiful all the time but he is only 9.ill cry the day he stops