To vont to be alone!?

[WeirdArchitecture]

As I grow older, I just have this fantasy of fucking off into the forest and growing herbs.
Im a painter, so it wouldn't be all that unusual for me, and I didnt have children, so no 'deep' ties.
However, I am 47, and adore my partner of 28 years to bits, but I look at this world and how we all tend to conform to some extent, and I Love the idea of just pleasing myself full time!

I want a giant studio with a faded dusky rose coloured sofa, plenty Turkish rugs, jars of stones, moss and glass cabinets full to the brim with books and stuffed birds , a large sink and an open fire. I want rustic, used-and-loved, long flowing day-gowns and cake for dinner.

I don't care about an existing address, a bloody mortgage or anything else. just pure unadulterated eccentricity. Nothing 'sensible', but one must also desire to be financially independent and never reliant upon a man.

I want to fuck off into the unknown whenever I feel like it, jump on a bus, train, consulting no-one. Or else fill the car with many coloured cats and settle in some remote Scottish village for a while.

I mean, I do value my family and friends, too, but ideally my little fantasy involves them grinning along and encouraging me:)

Anyone else have a desire to escape the ordinary?

I was just saying to my DH the other day that I would so love to do that. I’ve been watching Island Life on the Discovery+ thing on Sky and they were at these remote islands in the Caribbean where only a handful of people live and they all had boats and it was 15 minute boat ride to the nearest island with shops but there were no big shops and it was all locals selling local produce. It looked like bliss to me.

Yes, I love the idea. All of the above!

You've just described my life. Feeling better about it now...

it's a nice idea, I was reading a novel by Sylvia Townsend Warner called 'Lolly Willowes' and it really got me thinking.
She was a 'spinster aunt', so not contemporary, but she really inspired me!

I often wonder about what we depend upon and why, and what strange and secret urges we have within, lurking, silently.....

Oh it sounds heavenly.
My fantasy, if I won the Euromillions lottery would be to buy an island. Somewhere with white sand and blue seas. I’d have a staff to look after me, but they’d have a separate part and only appear when summoned.

I wonder how many people would stay with their OH is they won the lottery!

As for myself, we are at a hiatus, so god knows!

Anyone else have a desire to escape the ordinary?

Yes, very much so. But it alternates with fear about what happens when you get too old to be independent and you have no one in your life.
(I write that in the 2nd person because it’s too painful to write in the first).

I wouldn’t be relying on an open fire they consume a lot of fuel, inefficient for heat in the main and the dust is ferocious. Something cast iron with a cooking space and kettle hot spot more my option. A straw or wool insulated yurt or treehouse in the middle of ancient broadleaf woodland for me. With geodesic clear pod for all weather cloud and star watching. A jet boil kettle as my luxury.

I am single and childfree

When mum is gone, if she goes before me, I'd love to live that way.

I would love something similar but would choose to be near a quiet sandy beach in the country. And write. I often imagine it is in the Scottish highlands or the West Country

I live a life not ordinary. It was a surprise and has taken some time to embrace but fires, gardens, reading, crafting, cat and making my home full of paintings and displaying and enjoying inherited objects brings me joy.

Given that you have to post online for some sort of approval of this choice, I suspect you would not last pissing time alone.

I think it's a middle aged thing.

I'm the same age as you.

I have noticed since I was about 45 that my ideas are changing.

It's too loud here. I used to love life and busy. Now ? Due to hearing not sure but all the little everyday noises wind me up.

Used to love all sorts of new tech now I want stuff I can fix and isn't reliant on the internet and just the whole thing is a PITA.

Other stuff as well.

Congrats you've hit middle age

I'm finding it all very interesting.

@ismiseeire

Given that you have to post online for some sort of approval of this choice, I suspect you would not last pissing time alone.

weird!

I've done many years alone. I know we are online, but we never know what others have experienced

I have done this.....well, not living in a forest with stuffed birds, but I always dreamed of leaving everything behind and becoming one with nature in a far off land.

Over the years the children grew up and left home, the DH became an Ex and I had a job which paid enough money which I could save up for my dream. I'm quite happy with my own company, so I planned everything in minute detail and actually made my dream happen in 2018, relocating far, far away. I moved to another country and lived in seclusion amid beautiful mountains and lakes, met new friends.....

….and then the COVID crisis hit. In all my planning I had not anticipated a worldwide pandemic. I had to pack everything up and come home, COVID stopped my work and therefore removed my "right to remain". I came back to the UK to endure lockdowns and social distancing and everything else we've all been through.

Now I wonder why I didn't use my savings just to retire early and not do all the moving across continents. And no, I wouldn't go back, it wasn't quite the dream life I'd assumed it would be and, extraordinarily, I missed the UK even though I never thought I would. However, remote living certainly prepared me for lockdown, I'll give it that....

Absolutely
If it wasn't for my shit eyesight and teeth, I'd happily move to the outer hebrides or a forest.
Like Ben fogles programme.

If I were childfree I would be gone! I want to live in a forest, I want to wake up to the sound of birdsong.

And thanks for the book recommendation - looks interesting!

I too wonder if this is a 40s thing. Since January I've been "haunted" by an image of a woman pulling up at a cottage on the coast. All her wordly belongings are in the car with her.

This went on for a couple of weeks until I decided to just get it out of my head and down on paper. 50 pages later, she's having quite a nice time of it, but I do think it looks a bit lonely.

I am mid 40s also and have fantasies of being alone in various guises - some utterly quiet - like a smallholding being relatively self sufficient, or sailing as a liveaboard. Sometimes it is just to be in this house but with just me and spread out and organised as I want it to be (so without certain messes like 40 million pairs of shoes scattered everywhere, but allowing space for my crafting to be out for the entirity of a project not constantly packed up and put away after working on it for an hour....). But away from everyone else. (An ability to occasionally play rock music very loud would be good and not disturb others - but mostly it's about sounds like the birds, insects, cattle, wind, waves and sea - no traffic or people or modern life.....

(Some of these fantasies have been from much younger, but they are getting stronger in the past 3-4 years).

@Gerla

If I were childfree I would be gone! I want to live in a forest, I want to wake up to the sound of birdsong.

You need to be parent free as well.

@WeirdArchitecture

I've done many years alone. I know we are online, but we never know what others have experienced

I suppose it seemed - given a partner of 28 years and being 47 - you had not spent much time truly alone.

Oh yes sounds heavenly I would love to live in Alaska especially during the harsh winter months as i adore winter. Since im getting on a bit Alaska may not be ideal therefore id settle for a small cottage with room for animals somewhere in either rural Scotland or Ireland. Id paint, walk on the beach, write, read, think and on stormy nights listen to the wind howl beside a huge open fire with a few heated brandies. Perfect