To vont to be alone!?

[WeirdArchitecture]

As I grow older, I just have this fantasy of fucking off into the forest and growing herbs.
Im a painter, so it wouldn't be all that unusual for me, and I didnt have children, so no 'deep' ties.
However, I am 47, and adore my partner of 28 years to bits, but I look at this world and how we all tend to conform to some extent, and I Love the idea of just pleasing myself full time!

I want a giant studio with a faded dusky rose coloured sofa, plenty Turkish rugs, jars of stones, moss and glass cabinets full to the brim with books and stuffed birds , a large sink and an open fire. I want rustic, used-and-loved, long flowing day-gowns and cake for dinner.

I don't care about an existing address, a bloody mortgage or anything else. just pure unadulterated eccentricity. Nothing 'sensible', but one must also desire to be financially independent and never reliant upon a man.

I want to fuck off into the unknown whenever I feel like it, jump on a bus, train, consulting no-one. Or else fill the car with many coloured cats and settle in some remote Scottish village for a while.

I mean, I do value my family and friends, too, but ideally my little fantasy involves them grinning along and encouraging me:)

Anyone else have a desire to escape the ordinary?

Just finished reading Lolly Willowes thanks to this thread. Lots to think about - it did not go in the direction I expected at all!

Did anyone else read the title in Dracula’s voice? I vont to be alone ah ah ah

Just me...

I read it as Greta Garbo!

@Gerla 😂

I'm pretty sure the OP was channelling Garbo!

Yes me. Similar age. Deluxe campervan and writing. Walking on sandy beaches with dog. I have young dc so not remotely likely to become a reality for a number of years but still...

Oh god yes, not least because of a year of lockdown with two children under 5.

A small house in the middle of the moor. No one else for miles. Dog walking in the wind and rain, and then back to a log fire, a pile of books, coffee and walnut cake for breakfast, long cream wooly jumpers and velvet cushions. I would sip coffee wrapped in a cashmere blanket sitting outside my backdoor in the frost, looking out over the moor. I would stay up late writing or drawing or painting models, none of which i am good at but all of which I enjoy, and i would not have to justify it to society by being talented at anything. I would watch foreign films again because i wouldn’t constantly be tired and only have the spoons for easy-to-follow trash. I would sip my cava listening to Portishead and basically channel my favourite things of my youth through the contentment of my middle age. It would be wondrous.

I love my dh, my children are my life, but oh god the last year has been a hell of other people and reassessments of life for all, and as an introvert I have to escape to my fantasy because there is no where else I can.

Are you a vampire? Like the one from Sesame Street?

Mine is a cottage in St Ives. Views of the sea but not overrun with tourists. All of my books are there. All of my wool and knitting needles and crochet hooks. I’ve got a vintage roberts radio and Cath kidston bedding and curtains. I’ve got a gorgeous farmhouse style kitchen and patio with comfy table and chair and bench. My DH and kids (whom I adore) and definitely not invited and not welcome

Oh dear god yes, as a kid I always store I would love alone and be known as "the weird lady who is probably a witch". Every now and then I feel a little sad that instead of living on my own surrounded by art and books and esoterica, I live with family surrounded by housework and responsibility and mundanity.

I finished the title with 'with my Viscount'.

A year ago, I persuaded DH and the kids to move out into the country. We live in a bungalow on half an acre, and I'm working towards growing all our fruit and veg myself. We have 8 chickens and 2 ferrets, as well as the cats we already had. Every morning, I get up and feed and water the chickens, cut some greens from the garden for them to eat and give them some sprouted barley seed which I grow in Ikea Trofast trays with holes drilled in the bottom. I fuss over my seedlings, then go out and wander round the garden to see what has changed in the last 12 hours. I can potter without seeing another human except the kids, who come looking for me every 5 minutes. In the evenings, we curl up in front of the fire with the cats, and I might do some crochet or fill in whatever I did in the garden that day on the map I'm drawing of it.

We have a woodpile. And a kindling pile, of twigs that fell from our trees. We have a stack of hay bales in the garden, and currently 10 tonnes of compost. I use a wheelbarrow for something most days, and I have a manure fork whose wooden handle is well worn from use and needs oiling. This evening, before settling in front of the fire, I closed all my coldframes and put fleece over some young sweet peas, to tuck them in nice and cosy against the frost that's due.

I'm not alone but the lifestyle is everything I wanted.

Very much so - as per my user name 🤣

I'm sort of working my way towards it - have paid off my mortgage, am building up my savings, moved to a village. but would like to live even more remotely when I retire / go part-time.

Only difficulty is my husband who doesn't share my dream at all However women tend to outlive men, so if I find myself on my own when I'm older then I shall be embracing the old woman with many cats stereotype - in a ramshackle cottage in the wilds

I have a fantasy about floating around the Greek Islands in white linen.. The cloth not the perfume!

I'd love that. I'm perfectly happy in the middle of nowhere.

We probably will in a few years. DH feels the same, and he's easy company. We potter about, doing our own things.

Just got to get rid of the last child...