Kids disagreeing. Any ideas which was is right!

[gingerandproud4always]

I'm at a loss. My kids are in a bit of a disagreement and I'm being pulled in both directions.

Child A and child B. Similar ages/salary etc. Child A has a partner with a bad credit rating so when they bought their house, B lent them some money for the deposit and went on the mortgage. This was the only way A could buy their house.

B wanted to buy a house 3 years later, A sold house, gave B back the deposit (with no interest). A kept equity as had been paying the mortgage.
B was at a disadvantage as was no longer technically a first time buyer and missed out on all the relevant schemes.

5 years on they’ve both received a letter saying there was a refund due to them from the mortgage. They are both to receive cheques soon.
A thinks they’re entitled to the whole thing as they’d been paying the mortgage.
B thinks it should just be split and they keep their own cheques as it is legally half theirs.

What’s the Mumsnet opinion?

A was a CF only giving B back exactly what they borrowed and not a share of the equity. They need to recognise that they’re in the wrong here and give it up graciously. They’re lucky to have a sibling who would help them out in this way and really have to think twice about ruining the relationship over a few hundred pounds.

A sounds like a brat
Happy to take Bs money and help but not happy to share any of the benefits.

I'd wonder if A is generally quote an entitled person

A should consider it Bs interest payment for the loan and compensation.

The mistake cost A money at the time rather than B. So I can see A's point of view. However B should have been paid a proportion of the rise in value of the house, which is probably a lot more than £400. That would have compensated B for the fact that they are no longer a FTB.
So if I were you OP I would encourage A to give B the proportion of the increase in value that they should be entitled to given the amount of deposit they put in and the interest that would have earned over the years. Then B can give A the £400.

As a kind gesture and because B has not benefited in anyway whatsoever from any of this, A should give B the money.

A may have been paying the mortgage but they did get to live there and made themselves some equity from the sale. B got nothing except perhaps a lower score on their credit file and missed out on any interest they would have made on their savings.
A sounds very entitled and B sounds very kind.

If my sibling had helped me out as much I wouldn’t begrudge them this. Sounds a bit mean of A.

I’d share.

A sounds entitled and frankly a crap sibling. B helped them to their detriment and now A wants to keep it all?

A should have given back the percentage loaned in the first place so for example 10% of the value, letting B keep a measly £400
Is the least they can do! This has cost B thousands in interest and lost ftb status!!

I imagine A is still a bit crap with £400 and needs it more than B but that's no excuse

B is definitely right. A is taking the piss, and if I were B I'd want all of it for the inconvenience of not being able to get FTB rates/schemes.

I feel sorry for B.

Is A the favoured sibling? There always is one. Sounds like it. Poor B. Have they been able to buy a property of their own yet at all?

Split it, for sure.

I think B should get it all, too.

B should get it all , it’s very nice of them to suggest that A keeps any . A should be way more grateful than they appear to be as without B they probably still wouldn’t be on the housing ladder .

B keeps their share or the whole thing... A is being a cheeky bugger who has benefitted from B being generous

@M4J4 you're not eligible for the bonus if you own a house already

Who is eligible?
To qualify for the government bonus, the property you are buying must:
be in the UK
have a purchase price of up to £250,000 (or up to £450,000 in London)
be the only home you will own
be where you intend on living
be purchased with a mortgage

Split it.

A has done very well out of B.

Helping A has caused B nothing but trouble...B missed out on the FTB scheme, A didn't share any of the equity and A negligently put B's credit rating at risk by missing payments.

A has some check asking B for B's share of the refund. A should be handing his share over to B with a grovelling apology for being such a user.

Sorry, any of the increase in value. B was also locked out of the property market for a while due to helping A.

Just out of interest (no pun intended!) when A's house was sold, how much had B put in as the deposit and how much had A paid into the mortgage? It strikes me that after only three years the first could be more than the second, so B had made a greater contribution to an increase in equity than A had.

B is right. To be honest A sounds a little ungrateful. They were only able to buy in the first place thanks to the generosity of B. B has been disadvantaged by not accruing interest and by not being classed as a first time buyer, and they were willing to do this just to help their sibling. They didn’t get anything out of the deal - quite the opposite.

Bloody hell, B has lost money to put A on the property ladder to their own detriment, and A is being really ungrateful. If she had got a loan from anywhere else she would have had to pay a shitload of interest so its saved her money. Its the least she could do to give it all to B in my opinion.

A should be more bloody appreciative of B. A has clearly done well out of the whole arrangement, at Bs expense.

Is A really ready to fall out with B, who has really helped them in the past, for less than £400? So £200 each??

They are crazy imo.

A sounds awful - really feel for B. No good deed goes unpunished as they say.