Kids disagreeing. Any ideas which was is right!

[gingerandproud4always]

I'm at a loss. My kids are in a bit of a disagreement and I'm being pulled in both directions.

Child A and child B. Similar ages/salary etc. Child A has a partner with a bad credit rating so when they bought their house, B lent them some money for the deposit and went on the mortgage. This was the only way A could buy their house.

B wanted to buy a house 3 years later, A sold house, gave B back the deposit (with no interest). A kept equity as had been paying the mortgage.
B was at a disadvantage as was no longer technically a first time buyer and missed out on all the relevant schemes.

5 years on they’ve both received a letter saying there was a refund due to them from the mortgage. They are both to receive cheques soon.
A thinks they’re entitled to the whole thing as they’d been paying the mortgage.
B thinks it should just be split and they keep their own cheques as it is legally half theirs.

What’s the Mumsnet opinion?

Shared with B (who really should have been offered a slice of the equity also).

A doesn’t sound very nice. At all.

It must be shared.

I also think B was entitled to a share of the equity, too. Which would have been the decent thing as they helped A and were massively disadvantaged by doing so.

If you ‘stay out of it’, you’re effectively siding with A. And if we’re B in that situation, I would withdraw from the family.

A is an ungrateful piece of work. In A’s shoes I’d feel so awful that B lost out by having helped me, that I’d give them the whole lot and more if I could.

Without B, there wouldn't have been a mortgage for A to pay.

Christ, B should've got half of the equity after their deposit and mortgage payments were deducted anyway.

Shocking behaviour from A.

What do you think OP?

Split it, but really I feel B should be entitled to more if not all of it.

Split it in half, it’s a bonus payment that neither were expecting so wh not just share it?

A is being greedy.
B did them a massive favour that put them at a serious financial disadvantage.
They are also siblings and it’s the right thing to do.

Split it. Child B took a risk of getting a bad credit from child A and never owning a house ever

@ErleighBird

Share - A wouldn't have it without B

I’d agree with this.

So B disadvantaged themselves for A's benefit and haven't gained from it at all?? A is being really, really selfish here.

A sounds like a right piece of work.

Talk about no good deed going unpunished.

I feel for B.

OP,
Child A is a disgrace and a user.

Child B has been hugely disadvantaged by doing a good deed for their sibling.

I would be seriously unimpressed with A.

As a parent no doubt you have the measure of A.
If not, you should by now.
Disgusting behaviour.

They should share it. You could argue it should be for A’s money because it’s a refund for a mortgage A was paying, but equally B should have received a share of the any increase in value of the house by the time it was sold. Sharing it seems to be the right thing to do.

Definitely share. B has been disadvantaged by the whole situation, missing out on interest on that money.

Another vote for B.

It has since come to light that the refund was due to charges made for missed payments. So this could have had a negative impact on B's credit rating.

I think they've both had a unexpected windfall (under £400 in total) and should just keep their half each. B had been slightly disadvantaged but knew this when they decided to proceed. A hasn't been grateful enough in my opinion. All a mess and never going to be best of friends but hope we can move past this.

Thank you everyone. I think I may risk a strop and show A this.

Definitely B
But what kind siblings to help each other. I hope it doesn't cost long term bad feelings.

Even worse now you've revealed that A missed payments.
B should have got equity out of the sale and has been more than slightly disadvantaged.
While I think B should get it all, sharing is probably best all round.

I think B should get all the money. They’d have been better off sticking their deposit in a bank but instead did a good turn for A.
B must be a very nice person or naive, there’s no way I’d be giving up ftb status plus not getting interest on my money for a sibling

Can't believe you are being so casual that A missing payments will affect B's credit rating !!! A is one cf

A doesnt sound grateful at all that B put themselves out and missed payments as well

It's probably A's refund if it's a refund of fees/fines that A paid but B should have received more money when the house was sold. Either a share in any rise in value or some interest. £200 doesn't seem adequate IMO.

I think B should have it all. It won't compensate for the increase in equity which he did not benefit from, nor for not receiving any interest, nor from having his FTB status removed, nor his credit rating potentially affected. A sounds like a grasping and selfish individual from your account.

I think B should get all the money - A needs to realise just how lucky they have been!