Should I ask to bring a friend

[Murtaghjames]

Sil just got married but due to Covid didn't have a hens or a big wedding. She is planning on doing the hens and wedding next year or when permits. She will having a hens abroad for 3 to 4 nights. Its a big hens probably about 30 guests. I don't know them well enough to share a room. I was going to ask could I bring my friend or sister. Is that a bit cheeky?

Yes, it is.

Yes.

Of course it’s cheeky; you can’t just bring a random along to someone’s hen do

Also, it’s “hen”, not “hens”.

No I don’t think so when there’s about thirty going. However does she know your sister?

If she is your sibling's wife, surely you can go to wedding with parent/s?

Do you really want to go on a 3/4 night hen? I would decline but if you want to go, no hard in asking if you could have a +1.

Ah sorry you are asking about hen only.

Anyone who's inviting 30 women on her hen weekend is probably a "the more the merrier" type of person. I'd ask but make sure she knows she can say no if she wants to

@emilyfrost,we call it a hens where I'm from
@Bluntness100, yes sil knows my sister from family events and they would talk at these.

Sil is married to my DH brother, neither are blood related to me.

It’s cheeky. Put your big girl pants on, or decline

They say "hens" in Aus & NZ.

I think it's worth asking OP, if you're close to SIL I'm sure she won't mind and won't want you to feel awkward for 3/4 days if you don't know many people on the trip.

If you don’t want to share a room then just get a room on your own?

Really wouldn't bother me at all. I never see the issue with asking.

BUT I wouldn't go abroad for a hen do 2 years after a wedding.....

And if I was your sister I certainly wouldn't pay to go to a hen do two years post wedding of someone I barely knew.

I very much doubt she’ll get 30 people to agree to go on a hen do which is happening a year after she got married.

I would ask, she might be glad of the extra numbers when only 3 of you turn up.

@KitchenFairy

I very much doubt she’ll get 30 people to agree to go on a hen do which is happening a year after she got married.

I would ask, she might be glad of the extra numbers when only 3 of you turn up.

Why?

Presumably you are paying your way? A hoard of 30? Can't see taking a plus one is that offensive! Hardly a close friend shin dig is it?

I do have a good relationship with SIL and yes she is a more the merrier type person. I've never been abroad for that long without DH and DC so I thought having somebody with me would make it easier. Yes never thought of a room on my own.

Yes, it is a bit cheeky. You can’t really invite an extra to a hen party.

You don’t have to go, though - if the thought makes you uncomfortable, it’s totally ok to politely decline the invitation.

[quote Murtaghjames]@emilyfrost,we call it a hens where I'm from
@Bluntness100, yes sil knows my sister from family events and they would talk at these.[/quote]
Then it’s likely fine. Just ask but make sure she knows no pressure either way,

No it is not cheeky. It isn't an intimate event with 30 people going.
The more the merrier I'd expect you to bring a friend.

I've been as a +1 to a hen party a couple of times, I think it's fine.

Yes all paying for ourselves.

I don't think that's cheeky actually - my mum got invited as a 'plus one' on a hen abroad, guest was the bride's aunt and didn't know many people, so she invited my mum to keep her company during the day while everyone did their own thing.

You can always ask, it depends what the plans are. If it's all planned out to the minute it might not be appropriate, if there's going to be a fair bit of down time then I think it's fine.

Hardly a close friend shin dig is it?

I think so yes. I was like this I my twenties, when I had my daughter I had 27 bouquets of flowers delivered, we needed to put them on the patio, as the smell was too overpowering in thr house. I’d consider them all good friends. My mates. It’s not that unusual.

The down time would be nice too with your Dsis especially if you haven't been away lately.