To not like ds being referred to like this?

[justastar]

Have brother in support bubble as he lives alone: we visit him and sometimes he comes to us. We have a 2 month old ds.

Brother refers to ds crying as ‘skirling’ (sp?) he gets annoyed when I pick him up and says ‘babies skrike, it’s what they do.’

Refers to him having a ‘shit’ if there’s a dirty nappy.

I’m being stupid but I hate it: aibu?

I wouldn't like that either, it's very course.

People telling me to leave my crying baby piss me right off. Yes that may have been the advice 30 years ago but now studies show its much better to respond to baby when they need it, babies don't have the ability to try to manipulate you by fake crying. I have had to explain this to FIL a few times

Assume as he's your brother you grew up together and skirling is local dialect for crying? In which case I don't think that's a problem, however he shouldn't be trying to dictate how you parent.

Nip it in the bud. If he says 'baby's cry, it's what they do' then comfort your son and respond with a breezy 'well no point in letting it go on for longer than necessary'

Is he telling you to leave your baby crying, or just making an observation that they cry, which is true?

I’ve never heard those words before. Are they a dialect? And where from?

If you don’t like shit then tell him. I do use it for ‘shitty nappies’. 🤭

If he says ‘babies cry that’s what they do’ respond ‘and parents comfort a crying baby, what’s your point?’

I assume the crying skirling thing is a local term so don’t really get it but just tell him you don’t like that and the ‘had a shit’ comment - you just need to speak up

Yeah I don’t like that either. Someone I know calls her kids gits and even that makes me

Are you in Scotland OP? It's the noise bagpipes make (shrieking sound) so I imagine may be a Scottish term for crying? If so 🤷‍♀️ My northern relatives use 'skriking' for crying, so I can't get worked up over a widely used local term, even though I don't like or use it myself.

I wouldn't tolerate the swearing though!

(Sorry...I should have said 'skirling' is the noise bagpipes make).

Is he young?
I once called a relatives baby a squawking brat as a teen (thought I was being clever), but it went down like a lead balloon. I was rightly pulled up on it.
Having a commentary is annoying, you need to tell him to stop.

I don't agree with the principle of leaving babies to cry but the word choice wouldn't bother me. Then again I swear like a sailor.

Are you in Scotland OP? It's the noise bagpipes make (shrieking sound) so I imagine may be a Scottish term for crying?

I don't think OP is from Scotland unless there's a specific area using what she wrote. Generally, the Scot term for crying is "greitting".

Is he just trying to reassure you that he doesn't mind the baby making noise? I'm picturing a young child free relative trying to make you feel at ease.

Referring to a shitty nappy as such wouldn't bother me unless there were older children around to hear.

Skrike is from Lancashire I think. Just means screaming.

He will say ‘has he had a shit’ which I don’t like. Prob me being silly.

Well what do you want him to say??

Shit is part of daily life! I’m baffled by this!

Nothing wrong with expecting more acceptable language in your own home although I would think local dialect should be ok unless it is more negative than it sounds. Your brother needs to follow your lead of he wants to bubble with you.

Can you really not think of any other way to refer to bowel movements other then ‘shit bluebird?

Would it honestly baffle you if someone referred to poo, no2, bowel movement, etc? Really? So you would go to your doctor and say ‘my child is struggling to shit’? I’m sorry, I don’t believe you are ‘baffled.’

It's fairly vulgar. I wouldn't usually announce or inquire as to someone's toilet habits. I family who do this with the dog though - take him for a walk then proudly announce 'he had a crap!' When they return. I find it weird but 🤷‍♀️

I think it's odd to be offended by skriking, it's just a word for crying?

Ditto shit to be honest, if that's what the baby's done then it's a perfectly functional word. Is it that you don't like the word shit generally, or in relation to your baby? If it's the former then fair enough, ask him not to say it around you, if it's the latter then I think you might be being a bit precious.

Er, yes I’m baffled

People use many words and terminology varies....and your brother isn’t speaking to a doctor when he refers to shit he’s speaking to you! That’s the problem you have isn’t it?

I would 100% call a child’s cry ‘skirling’ if it was an ongoing angry cry. Skirling is exactly what it is.

Well, he’s used to living alone or among adults and and referring to poo as shit, it’ll be a reflex and I doubt something you’ll be able to get him to change. SIL refers to flatulence as “windypops” and dirty nappies as “yucky bum bums” which might be the phrases she chooses to use in her own home but I’ll be darned if I join her in using them too, whoever’s home I’m in. If he’s still swearing in front of DS when he’s old enough to understand and copy then that’s a conversation for then, because that’s a different situation. I couldn’t get worked up about it in front of a baby with no sense of comprehension though.

Whilst I'd not talk about a baby having a shit, using a regional word for crying sounds reasonable and you're a bit uptight to be annoyed about it.

I hate the word shit, I think it's very crude and I never use it,

I'm from Aberdeen, and skirling is a standard word for loud crying here.

We also say greetin for crying.

Unless he has dc expecting an adult to go back to using poo when surely the majority say shit is daft. If the baby is screaming why the issue with him pointing it out?

You’re being over sensitive.