I don't want a dog but OH does... Aibu to say no?

[grannyinapram]

Not now but in a couple of years when the kids are older, oh said he wants a dog. I don't want one. I've just spent 8 years at home looking after our children and in a few years when the youngest is at school and I finally have the freedom to work and stop being a sahm, he wants me to look after a dog.
He works long hours, 60+ hour weeks pluss staying away frequently so a dog would hardly touch his life. I would be the one who has to walk, feed, groom, clean up after the poor thing and quite frankly I don't want to.

I wouldn't mind adopting an older dog when the kids move out but a puppy needs time, and training. oh wouldn't be able to do it, work just wouldn't allow it. so it would fall to me.
I also wouldn't feel good about leaving a puppy at home alone all day so if we got one I still would have to put my life on hold for even longer.

He said he doesn't think we are well suited now I've said I don't want a dog and to be honest id rather him fuck off now if being the mother to his children isn't enough without adding a bloody dog on top.

aibu to say no? I'm not saying never but I certainly don't want to be tied down with a dog after years of child rearing. when is my time? I can't be stuck at home being the caregiver forever. he's never done it so he doesn't know.
I've had dogs by the way- i don't want the extra work load

YANBU.
We both work DH and DS 12 at the time wanted a dog. To be fair DH does most of the work, but whilst ddog is lovely I resent all the extra costs and the fact the house is never properly keen. Ddog is 3 so we have another 10 years to go, DH now says he didn't realise how big a commitment it was to have a dog.

Nope!

I’m a sahm and my family wanted a dog and I didn’t. I caved and it’s me who looks after her, although whilst DH is on furlough he is too but normally it’s me as he works out the home and I’m here.

I do absolutely love her though if I’m honest and she is amazing and we take her on holidays with us in the U.K.

You're not suitable to be a dog owner because you don't want to be one. He's not suitable to be a husband/partner because he is a prick.

I have a dog, I love my dog. I wanted one for years but DH wasn’t keen so we Didnt get a dog
Then out of the blue DH said we should get a dog so we did.
Mind you he did say it should be small and not shed too much, dont think a Golden Retriever was exactly what he had in mind
Everyone involved needs to be in agreement before you get a dog or make any other lifestyle change - because that’s what getting a dog is

I would quite like another dog and I would like a cat even more. But DH says no and that really is the end of it because I know we both have to be on board (and we already have pets). I can’t imagine a scenario I’m which I would tell him that we ani longer suited because he doesn’t bow to my will. You are right to put your foot down anyway.

Yanbu seeing as you’d be the one doing all the work and looking after. Plus if you want to get a job it’s not fair on the dog.

I wanted a dog and dh didn’t. He agreed I could have one if I did all the work. And it’s worked out fine. He’s never walked the dog or picked up poo in the garden which is fair enough. I do it all. If I’m poorly or away for a weekend he’s happy to feed her. He always said he wasn’t a dog person and he loves the dog now, they’re often snuggled up together but I still wouldn’t expect him to walk her, etc.

And him saying you’re not well suited is emotional blackmail and horrible.

Tell him you agree and he can move out and pay a shed load of his wages to support you and the kids seeing as you’ve given up your career/job to look after his kids! This comment alone tells you that you need to protect yourself and stop being a SAHM.!

Has it even occur to him that the dog would be YOUR dog if you are the only one there, training him and looking after him? As far as the dog knows, you're his/her owner. I expect your OH would wonder why the dog's not interested in him during the odd time he wants to interact with it. "But it's my dog!"

YANBU and you probably aren't that well-suited as he is clearly an arsehole.

Wow - 319 votes - 100% YANBU.
Your husband is truly behaving like a prize arse.

I think the whole family has to be in favour of getting a dog for the dog to have a really happy life. They are a huge amount of work, and everyone has to be committed to that, and to the restrictions that come with dog ownership.

Unless your DH is planning to dramatically reduce his working hours in the next couple of years, he is BVU, OP.

'When would you have time to look after your dog?'

repeat ad infinitum until the divorce petition is complete. Then scribble that on the envelope too, hand him the petition. Job done.

[quote FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken]@JustNotFunAnymore your friend should NOT have a baby with this man[/quote]
Tell me about it!!

@honeylulu

He's being ridiculous. But is he usually a bit controlling? Does he like to make clear that women should know their place? Because it sounds like he's realising when your youngest goes to school you will have some time to retrain, go back to work, have time to yourself and he wants to make sure you are tied to the house and chores.

Yes I thought this too. Keep you in your place.

He said he doesn't think we are well suited now I've said I don't want a dog and to be honest id rather him fuck off now if being the mother to his children isn't enough without adding a bloody dog on top.

YANBU about the dog. Dogs are a tie and you're perfectly entitled to not want that tie, even if he did all the day-to-day work which he wont.

He is right that you are not well suited though. He would be better suited to a domestic skivvy. And you would be better suited to a less selfish man.

I want a dog. DH doesn't. We're not getting a dog. I would rather have DH than a dog.

My DH and kids really want a dog, I definitely don't. I am not an animal lover.

Therefore it isn't fair to get a dog as I just wouldn't be interested which would be stressful for me and the dog!