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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WTF? Strangers Making Babies TV show

85 replies

Doyoumind · 23/03/2021 18:42

Just read about this programme which starts on Channel 4 tonight where single people wanting children are matched with a stranger they could coparent with without a romantic relationship.

I don't even know where to start.

OP posts:
misscockerspaniel · 27/03/2021 08:54

Is this the programme where the trailer showed a man saying he needed access to a womb? [hmmm]

Doyoumind · 27/03/2021 09:34

georgarina this isn't about single parent households. This is about children whose lives from the start are planned to be spent across two households. Constantly moving from one house to the other because that suited the parents from the start is unfair.

OP posts:
Cattenberg · 27/03/2021 10:17

I considered co-parenting, but you really need to spend at least a year getting to know your co-parent before TTC and my ovarian reserve wasn’t great.

I’ve read a few positive stories of co-parenting relationships. If I remember rightly, in each case the co-parents lived together and really shared the parenting. In one case the child had three involved parents - I think they were lesbian couple and a single man. I believe that co-parents would need to live together or very close to each other for the arrangement to work well.

I don’t think it’s unethical. I think it’s far more ethical for men to co-parent than to have a baby via surrogacy. You would need to take the time to ensure you and your co-parent were compatible and discuss all the “what ifs”, including what would happen if one parent started a new relationship.

But some co-parents argue that a co-parenting relationship, which is centred on the shared love and care of a child, can be more stable than a romantic relationship. I think that could be true.

georgarina · 27/03/2021 10:54

@Doyoumind I was replying to the poster that said single parenting by choice was selfish

MorganKitten · 31/03/2021 19:56

@Doyoumind

georgarina this isn't about single parent households. This is about children whose lives from the start are planned to be spent across two households. Constantly moving from one house to the other because that suited the parents from the start is unfair.
Which has happened the last 30/40 years or so with divorced couples, sperm dinners who see the child, pre arrangements and some couples who have the birth parent in the child’s life... so about 50% of all children’s lives are unfair....
Pkd857 · 20/04/2021 11:46

Totally agree with you !!!! What's difference here, don't abandoned children who have single moms and dads get same shitty response from most of you !!!

2 people wanting to love a child!!!! I conceived with a donor too and that baby would have been all.mine to love and care for , I sadly had miscarried!!!

Good on these people for doing it whatever way they can do !!!

Pkd857 · 20/04/2021 11:48

So many narrow minded ideas on here!!! Its disgusting, people aren't human anymore!!!

DateLoaf · 09/06/2021 21:06

I feel like I am being trolled by MN
The advert for the matchmaking agency of someone involved in this tv show, is the banner ad that I am getting today.

Sample ridiculous blurb from their website, which reads like a spoof:

What does having a baby mean to you?
Supportive, inclusive matching

At The coParenting Agency, our team provide two main services. The first is platonic, elective parenting. Whether gay, straight, lesbian, man, woman or non-binary. If we believe we have the kind of people you would like to meet (and vice versa), we will invite you to join us.

The second service we provide is romantic, elective parenting. This is for people who would ideally like to be introduced to someone for whom there is eventually a romantic spark. This could develop during the getting to know you phase of the relationship, or further down the line.

With both membership types, you will be introduced to people who are ready, now to enter into a committed relationship in order to raise a child. These are people who have thought carefully about what they want in life, and know that bringing up a child is of such significance to them, that they have approached us.

Choosing to join us is a significant undertaking, and we understand that. Dating for parenthood is different to dating for romance. Even with the second type of membership, the priority remains the commitment to raising a child.’

There is not enough Hmm I can express to this.

I just feel really sad for anyone who is vulnerable enough to feel they should be trying this.

VestaTilley · 09/06/2021 22:45

YANBU. I absolutely despair.

Heaven forbid anyone actually considers the rights of the poor child.

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