To think flagstone in the garden is a hazard with toddlers?

[theterror]

Hello,

DH and I have been chatting about sorting the garden out tonight. We moved to a new a house a few months ago and there is a reasonably sized patio (about 4mx5m) made out of a nice but very hard flagstone (not sure what material it is).

I feel like this is a hazard to our trippy 2.5 year old, and our soon to be 1 year old. Esp. As we will have garden furniture that they will inevitably climb on, and fall off of. I feel we should temporary cover the flagstone with rubber tiles (like you get in playground areas). Then in a few years time when the kids are older, remove.

DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and flagstone is fine, they'll always put their hands out to protect their heads (I just feel you can't predict how accidents will play out).

YABU = flagstone and toddlers are fine!

YANBU = flagstone is a hazard - get it covered!

Won't they be playing on the grass? Won't you be monitoring them if they start climbing furniture?

Flagstone is fine in a garden. Councils put rubber stuff on playgrounds but I've never heard of anyone having that unsightly stuff in their garden. Yes, toddlers sometimes trip in the garden. But then they also trip on their driveway, the supermarket car park, the footpath on the way to the shops.

why not go the whole hog and wrap them in bubble wrap? 🙄

My DD broke her arm... On the grass.

YABU they will be fine- and they'll need to navigate a world that isn't covered in rubber. You'd need to supervise them even if it were a soft material.

"They'll put their hands out to save themselves!" Ha! Mine still don't do that at 7 and 5, and some wonderful cuts and bruises they've had as a result, including teeth knocked wonky to the point it's affected position of adult teeth coming through.

Either keep them off it (our rule is children stay on the grass only- sounds mean until you realise just how much that keeps them safe) or put some kind of covering on it, but be aware that in itself can cause a trip hazard - just with a hopefully softer landing.

Your oh is wonderfully optimistic/naive. You just can't tell.

Are you having a laugh? I have an 18m old and a 4 year old and we have a paved patio the same as anyone else.

I've never met anyone who has put rubber crumb or matting on their patio and I know some pretty risk averse people! When they are tiny you hold their hand if they are wobbly walking outside and you don't let them climb all over the garden furniture unsupervised.

I've worked in many family homes over the years and I've never known any parents to lay rubber flooring on flagstones in their garden.

By that logic, are you not going to allow them to walk on pavements incase they fall? Rubber tiles are used under play equipment, were there is a risk of falling from a hight, but to use them on a normal patio seems ott to me. I assume you will be supervising so can stop them climbing on patio furniture, and place any swings/ slides / climbing frames on the grass area.

Yabu

The garden sounds fine. You don’t need foam matting!!

Hard surfaces aren’t inherently dangerous - My DC fractured an ankle at soft play.

Wouldn't occur to me to cover up a patio. That's a pretty common feature in most gardens.
I did buy some of those colourful interlocking mats which I use sometimes to put toys out on, mainly so I'd have somewhere softer to sit but the kids end up playing all over the patio anyway.

Honestly, I think you are being a bit precious.

They play all over - grass and patio area.

Yep, I'm out there with them but sometimes they are playing and running around separately. And I'm with one and not the other.

This flagstone feels harder than concrete paths etc. which DC1 has tripped on plenty of times.

I'm not one to bubble wrap the kids as I do think they need to learn for themselves - if they don't look where they're going etc. they will hurt themselves. But this stone seems so hard that I feel with even a small impact on it they could do some damage.

I don't think most people cover their patio with rubber! Yanbu if you want to, but it would seem odd to me. You can't stop children falling over and hurting themselves, and supervision would be needed if the one year old starts climbing on the chairs etc. I would say a 2.5 year old should be able to get on and off a chair by themselves. Falling over is part of learning. The more you let them free to do what they want (obviously removing any obvious hazards such as ponds, piles of bricks, power tools etc), the safer they will eventually be.

@Lancrelady80

"They'll put their hands out to save themselves!" Ha! Mine still don't do that at 7 and 5, and some wonderful cuts and bruises they've had as a result, including teeth knocked wonky to the point it's affected position of adult teeth coming through.

Either keep them off it (our rule is children stay on the grass only- sounds mean until you realise just how much that keeps them safe) or put some kind of covering on it, but be aware that in itself can cause a trip hazard - just with a hopefully softer landing.

Your oh is wonderfully optimistic/naive. You just can't tell.

Maybe if they’d fallen on hard surfaces more frequently theyd learn to take more care. They expect everything to be soft!

We had a comedy hazard garden with steps, concrete drops and random sharp Cotswold stone walls. We blocked off the main drops onto concrete with boulders so they couldn't scoot off of it and then they just got on with it. Flagstones will be fine

You say you're not one to bubble wrap them but that's what you're doing.
Children fall, they get up again and learn from it.
Are you never going to let them cross a road, swim, eat a grape..? The list is endless.

Okay, did you not read about the cuts, bruises, dental impact? We haven't covered our entire house in bubble wrap, they have fallen on plenty of hard surfaces and we have had plenty of trips to A and E as a result.

Children with developmental delays and ongoing input from physio / occ health. Or ch with dyspraxia. Ch who are "just clumsy." They can and will fall a million times on hard surfaces and STILL not put out hands.

You’re overthinking it.
In your position I might put wooden flooring like Ikea have for outside around the patio furniture to avoid dropped crockery shattering and to be nicer on bare feet.

A physio group we went to when diagnosed with delay at 3 actually had a built in component each week to teach ch to "self-save" because to some children it just does not come built in as a natural reflex.

Yabcu

@Lancrelady80 thanks! Yes DC1 is a very late walker - started walking just before his second birthday, and is still quite "clumsy" despite falling over so much and therefore having lots of opportunity to learn!

Grapes - we cut in half lengthwise.

Roads - we teach them to cross safely, we do it with them, we model it.

Swimming- we teach them.

We don't just let them get on with a potential risk without putting mitigations in place. We do what we can that is reasonable.

Did noone here use safety locks on cupboards, stair gates, foam pads on hearths/corners of worktops?

If op's children are "trippy" let them fall and work it out on softer surfaces like grass; if you can avoid the hard surface falls why wouldn't you? Once they can save themselves, then they're fine to go on flagstone.

My Dutch dp would laugh at this so hard! Dutch kids are taught to deal with risk so much better than British kids. I did have a slight coronary at our 3 year old niece using an adult hammer to bash nails into a piece of wood. Without safety equipment. But she was doing a craft at her nursery open day and supervised by her dad. By all means cover the world in rubber. It won’t teach them what they need to know.