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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think flagstone in the garden is a hazard with toddlers?

63 replies

theterror · 22/03/2021 21:56

Hello,

DH and I have been chatting about sorting the garden out tonight. We moved to a new a house a few months ago and there is a reasonably sized patio (about 4mx5m) made out of a nice but very hard flagstone (not sure what material it is).

I feel like this is a hazard to our trippy 2.5 year old, and our soon to be 1 year old. Esp. As we will have garden furniture that they will inevitably climb on, and fall off of. I feel we should temporary cover the flagstone with rubber tiles (like you get in playground areas). Then in a few years time when the kids are older, remove.

DH thinks I'm being unreasonable and flagstone is fine, they'll always put their hands out to protect their heads (I just feel you can't predict how accidents will play out).

YABU = flagstone and toddlers are fine!

YANBU = flagstone is a hazard - get it covered!

OP posts:
Original poster
theterror · 22/03/2021 22:31

@Sparrowfeeder great anecdote but I'm sure children have plenty accidents in the Netherlands too 🙄

OP posts:
LifesNotEnidBlyton · 22/03/2021 22:31

YABU. When they're still little enough to climb on furniture they shouldnt be in the garden on their own anyway and if you're out there with them to tell them to stop climbing, you can't rubber over everything they might hurt themselves on.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 22/03/2021 22:32

Did noone here use safety locks on cupboards, stair gates, foam pads on hearths/corners of worktops?

I can honestly say I used none of these.

Lancrelady80 · 22/03/2021 22:33

You assess around your own child, surely. A fully supervised, competent 3 year old even with a hammer and nails is absolutely fine. Key being supervision.

But if you have ridiculously speedy and clumsy one and two year olds who fall over at the drop of a hat and can't self-save, you then have to either do something to prevent the worst of any foreseeable accidents or else be helicopter parent the entire time.

Ultimately, op knows how safe her children are likely to be and has to make that call herself.

I would say don't cover the garden in rubber though! Can you separate that area in some way, or do as a pp suggested with an area of wooden decking around it to slow them down and create a slight buffer zone for if they do fall?

MySocalledLoaf · 22/03/2021 22:35

Did noone here use safety locks on cupboards, stair gates, foam pads on hearths/corners of worktops?
No, I didn’t babyproof at all. I did make sure climable furniture and pullable objects were secured to the wall, but that’s all. I might use a stair gate if our stairs were different but as they are they are safe.
I have a couple of massive steel pillars in the living room and they’ve never hurt themselves on them. Most common injury in my house has been getting a clothes peg stuck on the finger.

Lancrelady80 · 22/03/2021 22:37

So you did babyproof then. You assessed what might be unsafe (furniture) and did something to reduce that risk.

Original poster
theterror · 22/03/2021 22:38

@Lancrelady80 yes I'll looking into other options The rubber tile thing was something we had on the balcony in our old flat (not put down by us, it was a new build flat and that's the material they'd put down as it's cheaper than decking etc. So it's what came to mind.

OP posts:
MasterBeth · 22/03/2021 22:41

How ridiculous.

Bluntness100 · 22/03/2021 22:43

Honestly I’ve never ever heard of anyone covering their patio in rubber op, and I know a lot of parents. Yout kids will come into contact with hard surfaces. Generally the most they will get is a grazed knee.

For me, this is excessive.

MySocalledLoaf · 22/03/2021 22:47

@Lancrelady80 I think you know what I meant by babyproofing in the context of the question the PP asked, but feel free to give yourself a gold star for being technically correct, if you need one.

ChaBishkoot · 22/03/2021 22:48

No safety locks, stair gates or any baby proofing. Kids are 9 and 4.

GreatTeaMonkey · 22/03/2021 22:52

I’ve never heard of anyone doing this. It never occurred to me when I had a toddler and a baby, and they also had a big step to negotiate.

Mylittlepony374 · 22/03/2021 22:56

This is excessive. I have two toddlers and flagstone patio. Didn't even cross my mind to put anything else down. But I also had no stair gate/padded corners and didn't chop grapes for years til mumsnet put the fear into me... so am willing to concede I may be on the lax side.
Just watch them. Teach them risk management in an age appropriate way. They'll be fine.

Lancrelady80 · 22/03/2021 23:10

Not trying for golden stars. Got plenty in my sticker pack at school, thanks. :-)

Posters have got hung up on my examples, but those are not the only examples of things we do to mitigate risks and your comment just showed that. Esp as you didn't consider it baby proofing, just doing something sensible to minimise risk of harm.

Where possible, if there is a serious risk then we do something to make it less risky. That could be keeping children away from it, ensuring eagle eyed supervision or taking steps to make it safer. That's what you did. That's what op is considering.

Lots of people here minimising it, and they could be absolutely right. For THEIR children. For MY children, you might as well drop them down head first on the flagstones as they just wouldn't be safe due to speed, balance, coordination, lack of self-serving reflexes. . But you can't say "it'll all be fine" when, for various reasons that fortunately most people haven't had to experience, it might not be. The question is, how risky could it be for OP's children? That we don't know. It might be overly cautious, or absolutely the wisest thing to do. She will have to make that call but it's not at all a ridiculous thing to at least consider.

But why find out the hard way? Let them learn in a safer place first.

Lancrelady80 · 22/03/2021 23:13

Just supervise when they're out and keep them away from the patio part. That's what I would do and have done.

LittleBearPad · 22/03/2021 23:27

Did noone here use safety locks on cupboards, stair gates, foam pads on hearths/corners of worktops?

We had a stair gate. That was it.

TheGoogleMum · 22/03/2021 23:45

I sympathise, I have a late walking trips over easily 2 hear old myself. She does play on the paving slabs and she's been ok, but I see why you worry I worry too! I havent heard of anyone taking baby proofing to that level in their home before but if its the only way you won't worry it may be worth it? Maybe move climbable furniture to the grass for now?

Sparrowfeeder · 22/03/2021 23:46

@theterror they certainly don’t mollycoddle their kids by covering everything in rubber! They fall over, get up and carry on playing. You don’t get all the fuss we make in the UK. Kids all around me in family and public seem way less whingey and happier to me! Just an observation, I am not professing to be an expert.

Original poster
theterror · 23/03/2021 00:00

@Sparrowfeeder a hard flagstone floor is not "covering everything in rubber".

OP posts:
BeesAnkles · 23/03/2021 00:02

OP, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks. Do what makes your life easier. If you'll worry less and you'll all be able to enjoy the garden more, go for it.

My toddler had a fall in the street and one at home on hard floors and both times ended up in A&E as he lost consciousness! He was fine but none of us enjoyed the worry and spending 5 hours a piece in observation at the hospital for a knock on the head. Since then we've covered the floors with huge rugs and are so much more relaxed when he's tearing around at home.

No, we can't stop him knocking a tooth out in the street but at least home is a bit safer now (and we spend a lot of time here Grin)

BackforGood · 23/03/2021 00:11

Obviously up to you, OP, but I'm with your dh and the overwhelming majority of posters here.
We have a large patio that was great when the dc were little as it gave them chance to ride little sit upon cars, scooters, bikes etc, that don't work well on grass for 90% of the year, so they all played out there a lot. Dc do get used to risks that are around them. The more you remove 'risk' the later they start to develop awareness and skills to deal with it.
None of us can say that your dc won't ever hurt themselves on it, but I also think it is OTT to put rubber matting on a patio.

RedcurrantPuff · 23/03/2021 00:13

It is fine, you will be closely supervising them at those ages, and in time their hazard perception will improve.

LittleBearPad · 23/03/2021 00:27

[quote theterror]@Sparrowfeeder a hard flagstone floor is not "covering everything in rubber". [/quote]
It’s no harder than the concrete you’re less worried about.

HappyTimeTunnelDinosaur · 23/03/2021 01:27

Our kitchen and dining room have flagstone floors. I was a little nervous about our clumsy toddler to start with but it really is no different to a normal path. I think you just need to be there in case they have a fall etc, I wouldn't worry about trying to baby proof it, in many ways it gives you a chance to help them learn about being careful while safely at home.

lavenderlou · 23/03/2021 01:31

Kids fall. At that age you have to watch them in the garden anyway so you can just let them play on the non-patio area.