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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Inheritance advice

77 replies

Anele22 · 22/03/2021 12:17

My DP and I are not married. We live in his house. I have a house too, in another city, which is rented out. I live on the income from the rent. We each have DC. When we die his DC will inherit his house and mine will inherit mine. My question is what happens if he dies before me? Do I have to move out? I accept that the house will ultimately belong to his DC and I don't have a problem with that. My issue is that it is my home and if he dies I become homeless. I don't want to move back to where my house is - my life is here. I don't want to sell my house as I live on the rent.

Does anyone have a solution to how I can stay in my current home until I die, without depriving his DC of their inheritance? Currently I feel like I'm a lodger here rather than an equal partner.

OP posts:

TheWitchersWife · 22/03/2021 13:50

I know it sounds horrible.
But I also think it's a bit crap that you want to block the children's inheritance for possibly a long time so you can keep claiming rent off your house and live in the children's house rent free.
Surely there is a compromise like PPs have suggested like selling your house and buying a flat more local or similar.

nickymanchester · 22/03/2021 14:08

@Anele22 An "executor" is the person (or people) that deal with the will and ensuring that the will is followed.

Normally, one or more of the children or other family members will be amongst the executors.

It is their job to locate all the assets and pay off all the debts of the deceased - including any inheritance tax if appropriate.

Once that has all been done, they then distribute the value of the assets (or the assets themselves) according to the will.

The tax situation can get very complicated indeed and I really would urge you and your DP to speak with a solicitor who has experience of dealing with these matters and the tax implications.

Jarstastic · 22/03/2021 14:12

He could take life assurance to pay out to cover the inheritance tax.

Billandben444 · 22/03/2021 14:34

A solicitor is essential here to give you both some impartial advice. Is your property worth the same amount as his? If so, and you wanted to stay in his house, then you could 'buy' it off his children by selling your own. My partner and I live in my property and, after legal advice, my will gives him 6 months to make other living arrangements and then it will be sold for the benefit of my adult children (we both think he'll go first as his health is poor 😔). It would not be fair to deprive your step-children of their inheritance when you own your own property. Sorry.

RaginSpice · 22/03/2021 14:43

It’s really, really unfair for you to want to block his children’s inheritance while you live off the rent of your other property.

Sell your other property and buy in the area you’re in now surely.

RandomLondoner · 22/03/2021 14:56

You mention that you have a house but it's not in your preferred area. Sell your house & buy one in the area in which you currently live. When your DP dies, you can move into your own house

She can't do that because her house is her income. In effect, she needs two houses to pay her bills, and she only has one. She's currently getting the use of a second house from her OH, she wants that to continue after he dies, otherwise her income will take a dip.

Original poster

Anele22 · 22/03/2021 15:00

@TheWitchersWife

I know it sounds horrible. But I also think it's a bit crap that you want to block the children's inheritance for possibly a long time so you can keep claiming rent off your house and live in the children's house rent free. Surely there is a compromise like PPs have suggested like selling your house and buying a flat more local or similar.

I see your point but I'm interested to find out what my rights are. Currently it seems like I have no rights and live with him as his lodger. Would it be different if I was married to him, for example?

If he still lived with their mum they wouldn't be getting their inheritance until she died, would they?

OP posts:

Dozycuntlaters · 22/03/2021 15:00

He will do what's called a right of occupancy which means although the house won't be yours, or in your name you can't sell it or anything but you can live there till you die.

I imagine the IHT will be paid initially as you have to pay before you
inherit but they won't have to pay again as once the house switches into his kids name, it won't make any difference when you die because the house will already be theirs.

Original poster

Anele22 · 22/03/2021 15:02

@Jocasta2018

You mention that you have a house but it's not in your preferred area. Sell your house & buy one in the area in which you currently live. When your DP dies, you can move into your own house. It's a bit cheeky to expect to stay in your DP's house after his death. You won't be homeless as you already have your own property!

Hmm.. like a tenant then? Not really how a partnership works, though, is it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Anele22 · 22/03/2021 15:04

@Billandben444

What if I didn't own my own property? Would your advice be different?

OP posts:

TattooedArm · 22/03/2021 15:06

The executors are responsible for paying the inheritance tax. If you were married the spousal exemption would kick in and the person left behind would not pay the tax (can't remember proper terms) but as you are not married, IHT would be payable at 40%, 6 months after death (assuming the whole value of your partners estate (house and assets) exceeds the IHT band at that time.

So make a quick calculation. What is the value of your partners estate, take away the IHT threshold (is it £325,000?), 40% of that. Can you afford to pay that sum to the executors if they were willing for you to stay in the property?

I would imagine they would need a court order to get you out but as you have another property a court would grant that (I'm guessing here, take some proper advice!)

Obviously the figure will change but gives you a tough guide.

FuckyouCovid21 · 22/03/2021 15:06

Hmm.. like a tenant then? Not really how a partnership works, though, is it

So take this up with your partner and you're being a bit dramatic, you wouldn't be homeless, you have a house that you rent out. If you want to stay in the area, sell yours and move

TattooedArm · 22/03/2021 15:08

Sorry, no just calculate 40% of the property element.

I think I am correct in saying you have very few rights.

user1493494961 · 22/03/2021 15:11

Hopefully, your DP's children will allow you to stay in their house while you sell yours and buy one in the area you want to live in.

Original poster

Anele22 · 22/03/2021 15:13

Thanks to everyone for all your suggestions so far. There's some really good advice and food for thought. As always, on Mumsnet there are people who want to contribute just to tell the OP off for being a CF or grabby or whatever. Thank you too for the laughs.

I should add that my property is in a different part of the country and would not be worth enough for me to buy anything where we currently live, so that wouldn't be an option. Plus I live off the rental income from the property, which may sound very lucky or privileged to people but I'm not really interested in your opinion on that. I'm asking about my rights.

OP posts:

sleepyhead · 22/03/2021 15:19

You have no rights! You presumably have been happy to keep your finances completely separate to make it clear and easy for your own children to inherit your property when you die and for your dp and his children to have no claim on it.

Quite correctly, if you died first and your dp said to your children, "wait a minute, Anele used to buy the groceries for us both with the income from that property - I want to continue receiving the rent so that I can buy groceries until I die, so you can't sell it." your children would (I'm sure nicely) tell him to stuff it.

It's completely reasonable for you to expect not to be put out on your ear, especially if you have had a long relationship, but it's not reasonable for your dp's children to be potentially financially encumbered by an asset that they cannot realise for an indefinite period of time.

I think it's reasonable to have the conversation with your dp, but you also should take into account the implications on his children. I certainly couldn't afford the upkeep of a second home if I inherited.

Waspie · 22/03/2021 15:28

My partner and I have given each other life interests in our part of our property because we own as tenants in common rather than joint tenants. So if I were to die tomorrow my son would inherit my estate including my share of the house. But my will says DP can stay here until he dies or marries or moves out but he has to maintain the property and pay all bills.

My estate would still be responsible for paying any IHT but as my estate is being left to a direct relation and because it's only half a house I don't expect it to be over IHT threshold.

It's not the same situation as you have OP but it's similar enough.

You talk about partnership but in the eyes of the law you are really just a lodger in someone else's house currently and have very few rights. If your partner were to die you would have no right to remain in the house if it was left to his children.

Your partner wouldn't have to set up a life interest if he felt this was too long - it could be for a shorter time, 5 or 10 years perhaps. Long enough for you to sort out your new life. It would be horrible to lose both partner and home in quick succession.

Once you have agreed it between yourselves he would need to see a solicitor to have the agreement drawn up.

VladmirsPoutine · 22/03/2021 16:11

Why are you eyeing up his property in the event of his death but nothing of yours which incidentally would be very easily obtainable for your children to inherit in the event of your death. If you die before him why can't he earn the income from your tenants for the duration of his lifetime??

EatTheCakeBarry · 22/03/2021 16:15

Can I just add that my Dad has been ill for around 25 years with several health conditions, my Mum still died of cancer 10 years ago, healthy as a horse before that. If as a family we'd have laid bets on who would go first we would have been wrong. My Dad is now 80.

blueberryporridge · 22/03/2021 16:24

To answer your question above, yes, it would be different if you were married to your DP.

NotMyPremium · 22/03/2021 16:24

If this was a man asking you would (rightly) have your arse handed to you.

You have no rights and you have your own property. You should be making your own provisions.

Alsohuman · 22/03/2021 16:27

@imyournextdoorneighbour

Why don't you sell your house and buy another in the area where you live then you have the option of living there if he dies?

Read my mind, I thought exactly the same thing.

bp300 · 22/03/2021 16:27

Also selling your current property could lead to a capital gains tax bill.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 22/03/2021 16:36

By your logic if you die first are you happy for him to get the income from your property until he dies and then your dc inherit?

Kitfish · 22/03/2021 16:48

You're being given some bad advice about inheritance tax. It is due 6 months after death and, yes, your DP's children will need to pay it. If there are no proceeds from the sale of the house and they can't afford to pay regardless, that could be a problem.

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