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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to wonder how the Upper Middle class are surviving with all the ski trips, Xmas in the Caribbean & weekends in Norfolk?

129 replies

Starzinhereyes · 22/03/2021 10:48

Just that... Old friends of ours are part of the UMC set & pre covid had at least 2 ski trips a year, Xmas in Antigua, Safaris in South Africa & most weekends spent with "mummy & daddy" in Norfolk.... Obviously there are plenty like them. We haven't heard much from them over the years, lovely family but we drifted.. I'm pondering out load really, are the UMC making the most of lockdown or secretly breaking all the rules! This couple were fairly active on social media up until lockdown!

OP posts:
joanna67 · 22/03/2021 12:39

What an unkind and nasty thread. All of my spare time and cash was spent on holidays and trips over the last few years after many years of working hard and very few holidays. Like most people we've spent the last year at home and look forward to a time when we can travel again.

Cheeseandlobster · 22/03/2021 12:41

[quote Notavegan]@Cheeseandlobster me too! A bunch of spices for £70 plus. I'm fairly middle class and partial to a hamper myself, but this is beyond reasonable.[/quote]
I thought - oh its ok. You get a huge box of something too. Then realised the box is the hamper box. How can they justify that? If the pictures didnt have the box in it would look as paltry as it is. Bonkers!

Cam77 · 22/03/2021 12:44

Lol at all the people here readily identifying as “upper middle class”. Does everyone in the UK review a bi-annual certificate from the Establishment, signed by the Queen, confirming their ranking? Welcome to Britain! Know your position!

listsandbudgets · 22/03/2021 12:50

Well we've had a ski slope and snow machine installed in the back garden along with a chalet and we have beautiful Austrian food and beer delivered every evening and the maid pops in and turns down our beds before we retire after a hard days skiing.

At Christmas we bought up a local lake and had a company make up a beach. We spent the day quaffing cocktails and shivering in the glorious December weather (and very chilly lake water) but we're upper class with a stiff upper lip a bit of cold is character building. It was worse for the butler who had to keep running about carrying turkeys and things.

We've never been to Norfolk - bit infra dig for us really but I must say we are missing our parents Highland estates especially the shooting but one must make sacrifices during a world pandemic

hamstersarse · 22/03/2021 12:51

@Cam77 Seems like skiing, safari and visiting your parents are the identifying factors for the OP

Pinkmagic1 · 22/03/2021 12:59

I imagine they are coping as well or as unwell as anyone else. It's all relative whether you are missing your holiday to Bermuda or your holiday to a caravan in Skegness.

PferdeMerde · 22/03/2021 13:06

Everybody is missing going on holiday. My parents go on holiday about 5 or 6 times a year (includes city breaks). I must remember to sneer at them next time I see them because it’s unacceptable that they should spend their hard-earned money on what they want.

OP, do you think the “UMC” should be giving every single penny of their disposable income to charity or something?

You sound bitter about your friends drifting away from you years ago. Maybe move on and forget about them.

SoupDragon · 22/03/2021 13:06

Lol at all the people here readily identifying as “upper middle class”.

It's not as bad as all the people queuing up to sneer,

ProfYaffle · 22/03/2021 13:10

I'm working class and live in Norfolk.

I'm really unclear how to feel about this thread

Grin
mogtheexcellent · 22/03/2021 13:11

They are all getting their pools at home set up earlier and keeping them going longer.

DBro is a pool guy and he has been flat out for weeks now.

DavidsSchitt · 22/03/2021 13:23

@Cam77 lol at you not being able to identify pisstaking.

SplendidSuns1000 · 22/03/2021 13:43

I do miss our holidays and trips out of the country, but the money we've saved from our trips in the last year has gone to charity. Perhaps you could consider doing the same with any money you've saved, OP. Or are you too busy being classist, and disapproving of those who are fortunate?

You're welcome to join us when we next go skiing, it seems you have a great interest in it!

Lacucuracha · 22/03/2021 13:45

Is the 'no holidays' rule even being enforced? People are still flying out to other countries, do they have to prove it's for essential travel? Are a lot of grandmas suddenly feeling poorly?

Thedogscollar · 22/03/2021 13:46

You sound jealous OP. Not a nice trait. Why are people so invested on what other people have/do. It's really not your business.

MsTSwift · 22/03/2021 13:58

Not sure how UMC we are but am occasionally called “posh” by people and we love to travel 😁. We’ve used the time to redecorate so house looking great

UpsyDaisyTheThird · 22/03/2021 14:08

Thank you for checking on us, dear, so thoughtful Flowers.

It has indeed been upsetting to forgo the annual winter trip to the Antigua villa, especially after having to cancel our planned safari down the Luangwa River last June. The children, Henrietta, Freddie and Isadora, were so disappointed but they've borne it like troopers, brave lambs. I'm so proud of how they've dealt with adversity, as I was telling the vicar just the other day. And, as you know, no cloud is without its silver lining - sacrificing our hols last year has allowed us to buy Henrietta her own little cottage in Wells-next-the-Sea so she doesn't have to share with us when we visit the seaside house. Now that she's started uni (did I mention she's doing art history at Goldsmiths? We're so proud!), we feel she needs her own little place to hang out with her grown-up uni friends without silly Mummy and Daddy putting her to the blush. You know what they're like at that age Wink. We were very lucky of course that dear Hetty's godmother gifted her a charming little mews house in Pimlico for her 18th birthday so we didn't have to worry about university accommodation.

By far the biggest challenge hasn't been holidays (or lack thereof) but having Freddie and Isadora home from boarding-school for the past few months. I don't like to be rude but homeschooling has been an absolute PITA. I'm sure you've found it the same, having...Chardonnay and Dwayne, is it?...home from that nice local school they go to. I believe you said it was built in the 1960s, is that right? I do love a bit of brutalist architecture for a change. Nothing like that at Freddie and Isadora's schools, unfortunately...only a boring old castle and a 17th century former abbey.

Anyway, I've never been one of those maternal mummies with children hanging off their jackets demanding cuddles and stories (shudder!) and so was quite happy to pack the three of them off to school with their trunks and tuckboxes when they turned eight and then leave them with our very capable housekeeper (after they outgrew Nanny) for most of the school holidays. But I mustn’t grumble… compared to many, we have been fortunate indeed. Although we did have to sack the governess the agency sent (no knowledge of Russian literature and absolutely useless at cricket Angry), dear old Nanny stepped into the breach magnificently. She even arranged for a lovely Russian gentlemen she knows from her spying days to discuss Gogol’s Revizor. Amazing woman, Nanny! Though I can never remember whose side she was on in the Cold War...I do remember MI6 asking some awkward questions when I was a child but my parents smoothed that all over.

Indeed, it has been just like I imagine wartime would have been! All of us cooped up merrily together, playing charades and singing songs around the piano while the housekeeper clears the dinner table. Happily, the builders managed to finish our new natural swimming-pool just before the first lockdown so we’ve all been keeping fit and enjoying ourselves. I’m sure you have too with your new…a hot tub, was it? Lucky you! We’d adore a hot tub, but it would clash with the Grade II-listed surroundings so I’m afraid we’ve had to limit ourselves to the swimming-pool. I have, however, allowed the children a trampoline although our gardener insisted on hiding it behind the row of medieval oaks so the neighbours can’t see it. Ah, the sacrifices we make for our children.

But we must all hope for better times. Even if we don’t manage the Serengeti or the Trans-Siberian express this summer, there is always the beach house in Cornwall. And all the best for your summer plans too, of course. Fingers crossed you make it to Ibiza…or was it Tenerife you like visiting?

And remember #BeKind, #StayHome, #SaveTheNHS.

ilovesooty · 22/03/2021 14:14

What a shame you and these people have drifted. If you hadn't you wouldn't have had to deal with being so genuinely interested which must have been distressing for you. You could have eased your torment by picking up the phone and asking how they are, as friends who have genuine interest in each other do.

Chimeraforce · 22/03/2021 14:23

They may have split up.

sleepwouldbenice · 22/03/2021 14:39

@SoupDragon

Not sneering

Yes you are.

This..... YABU..... Ps you aren't their friend either
BrightYellowDaffodil · 22/03/2021 14:42

@UpsyDaisyTheThird Grin Grin

Movinghouseatlast · 22/03/2021 14:55

@thecatsthecats

Nice people worry about those who have less than them.

Unpleasant people look at those with more than them and spew petty little grievances.

Pretty clear which you are OP.

(and no, I'm not UMC)

This, absolutely this.
lampygirl · 22/03/2021 15:09

Far from upper middle class but usually would take 2 ski trips and a summer cycling break or two each year. Number of holidays isn’t really class dependant, there are holidays for a wide range of budgets. I miss travelling a lot. Different people just have differing priorities and one of ours is going away on active holidays (skiing/cycling). We are following all the rules as I am in the CV category so have spent a lot of time at home, no hot tub or swimming pool here, just an average 3 bed semi, and have also lost a lot of income due to the pandemic. I am down around 40% of my usual wages, so even when we can travel again it is going to take a while to build back up the savings etc, and for work to pick up to allow the overtime that pays for the extra trips, before we are able to go back to that amount of holidays. It’s going to be a bit depressing but honestly compared to how some people have been affected it’s really not terrible to have to just chop in the holidays and eating out. I imagine it is not as bad for the truly well off as they will likely just have to wait for travel to be allowed and they will bounce straight back, and much much worse for people who aren’t choosing one vs two holidays and instead are choosing food or heating. Those are the people I really feel for.

MaskingForIt · 22/03/2021 15:41

@Chimeraforce

They may have split up.
How vair WC!
nitsandwormsdodger · 22/03/2021 16:23

Well ... I used to visit "mummy" in Suffolk until she caught covid and died , I do ski and haven't been for 3 years due to poorly mum
Hope my pain and lack of ski hols makes you happier this afternoon op ??

GiveIrelandBackToTheIrish · 22/03/2021 16:56

You sound bitter

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