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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask who can own a dog then ?

176 replies

Troublewaters2021 · 21/03/2021 20:11

I have been seeing a lot a lot of owners recently on social media as well as people looking at getting one.

The general stance is seems to be only is you are not out the house for long periods / as in work full time.
Have enough money to feed and loom after dog as well as pet insurance / vet fees.
Surely there is very few people who don’t have to work out of the home full time for 10 plus years who also have enough money for a dog ?.

OP posts:
Grinch48 · 21/03/2021 22:28

We wanted a rescue and they wouldn’t accept us as our back garden overlooks a main rd -
We are both self employed have a fabulous enclosed safe garden, mortgage free and have been dog owners for 20 plus years .
No children as all grown up and no other pets

So we went a bought one one of the most disliked but populars dog around for many people -
a french bulldog
He cost a small fortune ,lives the life of a mini dictator 😂 and is a total knobhead
His insurance cost more than my husbands brand new Mercedes
His monthly upkeep including insurance and food and stuff is probably around £120 a month min
He’s is spoilt and pampered far more than my kids ever were
He goes to work with my DH and has already chewed the seatbelt in his new car

Alittlepotofrosie · 21/03/2021 22:50

The doghouse on Mumsnet is particularly mad when it comes to the rules about who is and isn't allowed to have a dog, and what sort of dogs people should have. Greyhounds are always ok. Even if you don't want a big, lanky, thin, short haired dog you should still get a greyhound. And you definitely shouldn't get a dog (even say a toy breed) if you can't commit to walking it for at least 1.5 hours every day. Otherwise someone will ask if you're really sure you can offer a dog a good home head tilt.

SD1978 · 22/03/2021 01:39

@Grinch48 - French bulldogs are dickheads- and I say that with love. Condescending looking dictators who always look like they are blaming you for whatever they've done wrong. Love them!!!

zeitgeista · 22/03/2021 01:44

how my bf keeps his dogs would cause some people on here to have fits. they're perfectly happy and healthy but people would cry animal abuse! Confused

Suzi888 · 22/03/2021 04:17

@Wolfiefan

You shouldn’t get a dog then leave it for 9 hours a day. You shouldn’t get any animal without considering whether you can afford food and vet bills etc. Too many people seem to think they are entitled to go and buy whatever animal they fancy. Regardless of whether they can provide a decent life for that animal.
^ that Though if you claim benefits you can get free treatment from the PDSA. A dog shouldn’t be left alone for more than four hours really.
Shehasadiamondinthesky · 22/03/2021 04:23

Doggy daycare if you work full time. You cannot leave a dog on its own all day they get very distressed.
This is why I have cats, they mostly don't care if I am at work all day - although some do. I tend to get older rescue cats as they are more chilled about it.

mars2 · 22/03/2021 04:25

The general stance is seems to be only is you are not out the house for long periods / as in work full time.
Have enough money to feed and loom after dog as well as pet insurance / vet fees.
Surely there is very few people who don’t have to work out of the home full time for 10 plus years who also have enough money for a dog ?.

Haven't these always been normal things to consider before getting a dog?

Chicchicchicchiclana · 22/03/2021 04:26

How can insurance for a dog cost more than a brand new Mercedes?

Toddlerteaplease · 22/03/2021 04:31

@Chicchicchicchiclana I can easily imagine that it could. My cats insurance will double next year and will cost around £250 a month!!

PeggyHill · 22/03/2021 04:35

I do think it's fair enough to say someone shouldn't leave a dog alone for the amount of time an average person is out of the house for work - that's usually between 9-13 hours. But that doesn't mean that this person couldn't get a dog, it just means they would need to make some kind of arrangement, ie a dog walker, doggy daycare, organising a friend or relative to pop in, arrange to take the dog into work etc.

As long as people are being responsible and meeting their dog's needs then it's fine.

AlternativePerspective · 22/03/2021 04:52

IMO the rescues are the biggest part of the problem and hold on to dogs they really shouldn’t because they make them money.

If the rescue stays full all the time then more people are likely to donate, hence why they almost never seem to actually rehome anything.

Added to which, the rescues who claim that some dogs can never ever be rehomed but they “never put a healthy dog down” have clearly lost sight of the fact that there are actually worse things that could happen to a dog than it be put to sleep. If a dog is so badly traumatised that it can never be rehomed then it is not a healthy dog and should be put out of its misery.

I would never get a dog I couldn’t afford or if I worked full time but I wouldn’t ever rescue either.

I do think that people need to proceed with extreme caution when looking for puppies as very few of them come from decent sources. And I do think that the fact there are people prepared to pay upwards of £2000 for a dog which was half that price a year ago are a big part of the reason why dog theft and puppy farming is so prevalent. If no-one was buying these puppies then people wouldn’t be breeding/stealing them.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 22/03/2021 06:00

My parents have a dog and they both work full time out of the home. They have a dog walker and I work part time so I go over sometimes to help out.

The dog is old now, approaching 15. So he just sleeps most of the time anyway.

GraduallyWatermelon · 22/03/2021 06:12

If a dog is so badly traumatised that it can never be rehomed then it is not a healthy dog and should be put out of its misery

If you're talking about Dogs Trust, they do euthanise dogs who have severe behavioral issues and class this as not healthy.

Rathmobhaile · 22/03/2021 06:39

I have 2 dogs - one of whom came from a rescue organisation who did a home check. I was sure we weren't going to be given the rescue dig as my garden is not enclosed and would cost me a couple of thousand to maje it so.

However it was very refreshing to see the rescue talk to us and say how they could see how we talked about our previous dog and the dog we currently had was obviously very content very attached and a big part of the family that the garden wasn't a concern. We had kept dogs for 16 years including all the vet care they needed so obviously we were likely to continue to do that.

tabulahrasa · 22/03/2021 07:11

@Chicchicchicchiclana

How can insurance for a dog cost more than a brand new Mercedes?
Because it’s a breed where the majority of them have health issues.

Nearly half of them have significant breathing difficulties and they’re prone to other problems at high rates as well.

Crayfishforyou · 22/03/2021 07:11

I don’t think it’s fair on the dog to work full time, even if you use doggy daycare. It would be downright cruel on a puppy.
I work part time and from home during the day. This isn’t set to change much, there may be the odd day when I have to use a doggy daycare.
If you work full time and are out the house 8 hours plus I would join borrow my doggy for weekend walks instead.

Athinginitself · 22/03/2021 07:21

I dont think its unreasonable to expect that people who own dogs are around for them, not leaving them alone all day and can afford vets bills. I do think the standard of a lot of rescues mean a lot of dogs are missing out on happy loving homes, they need to use their own judgement and common sense a bit more.

HalfTermHalfTerm · 22/03/2021 07:23

Invariably this means I get a staffy - no offence to staffy owners, but I think they are spectacularly unattractive dogs.

If that’s the only reason you don’t want a staffy then I can’t imagine I rescue would give you a dog anyway.

Pinchoftums · 22/03/2021 07:35

The only things my dogs give a shit about are food, walks and good company. (They don't realise it but also being healthy and not in pain.)
It's very basic but if you can't manage those don't get a dog.
I am old school when it comes to dogs and don't dress them in jumpers or buy them stockings. They have never been to puppy classes. They eat Waggs kibble and leftovers.

But you can't both work all day and leave them. It's cruel. Either dog walker or be lucky like us and work shifts/work from.home so someone is always about.

Spicedlatte · 22/03/2021 07:43

Having a dog is a lifestyle choice not a god given right and if you work full time and/or would struggle afford insurance, high quality food, vaccinations, grooming and so on then it's not for you. No matter what anyone says it is cruel to leave a dog on their own for eight hours at a time, even if you are checking on them halfway through the day. I've made a lot of sacrifices to be at home with my dog as much as I can and he wants for nothing - the way it should be.

I'm sure that sounds very unfair and elitist but no one needs a dog, like many things in life it's a choice for those who can and I don't think innocent dogs should be subjected to a miserable life because someone needed a project during lockdown - get a houseplant next time.

HerMammy · 22/03/2021 07:52

In terms of rescue, there are many foster based small rescues who treat applicants individually.
The comments regards staffies are quite horrible, I have had many bull breed fosters/adopted dogs, don’t believe the media, you wouldn’t judge a person on appearance/sensationalised news.
One comment was odd ‘I’d not rehome a staffy with potential problems but I’d rehome a spaniel’ because it’s a cute spaniel doesn’t mean it won’t have issues!!
Many dogs are given up for selfish reasons; new baby, house move or even a bereavement; (Senior Staffy Club; lovely dogs in need)

ShesMadeATwatOfMePam · 22/03/2021 08:04

If that’s the only reason you don’t want a staffy then I can’t imagine I rescue would give you a dog anyway.

Why should anyone have to have a dog they don't like the look of at all? It's not a test. "you're allowed a dog as long as you prove that you'd be willing to live with ALL types of dogs". I don't find greyhounds or staffies appealing (the only Mumsnet approved dogs). I like small to medium dogs or tall well built ones like dobermanns, rottweilers, standard poodles, weimeraners, retrievers etc.

In fact, pretty much the only breeds i don't like are bull breeds, flat faced breeds or overly thin ones like greyhounds and whippets and i wouldn't want one. Does that mean i shouldn't be able to rescue a dog? If so do you realise how stupid that is? Since when aren't people allowed to have a preference over what kind of dogs they like? If i was turned down by a rescue because i didn't want a staffy, id go buy a dog or rescue a nice mixed breed from abroad where they realise that the perfect home for a dog doesn't actually exist.

Heyha · 22/03/2021 08:13

I've been thinking about this too after some recent threads. We won't be able to re-home a rescue when our older spaniel (ironically, a rescue himself) pops his clogs as unless he breaks longevity records we will still have at least one primary-aged child, and probably cats still too. Experienced, suitable garden, good relationship with local dog daycare & walking service, one of us works term time only and the other is going to still be partial WFH so dog daycare or walker just for those days when needed. We will make enquiries at rescues but not with any great hope of being chosen ones.

We'll buy a puppy even though we don't really enjoy the puppy phase. Unless anyone knows how you go about rehoming adult dogs privately?

WelcomeMarch · 22/03/2021 08:19

Pondering the many dogs on our road, the families deal with it in different ways:
One of a couple works from home full time.
SuperGranny nips in and walks the dog.
Teenagers get home from school and take the dog out.
Retired couple mosey slowly around with their mutt for hours.
Everyone takes a turn with the very elderly neighbour’s overactive dog.

LakieLady · 22/03/2021 08:26

I've been a dog owner since 1986, including periods where I've been out at work all day.

They've had a good walk before I go to work, and a dog flap in the back door so they can access the garden, which is dog proof. And they got another good walk in the evening, after work. I live right on the edge of a town and we have open countryside just around the corner, so easy to give them a good run.

However, I've worked very locally for 30 years, and have always had flexitime, so I can make sure that at least one walk is in daylight. And often my work takes me out and about during the day, so it's easy to pop home and check on them. None of them have had any issues with being left. My last one didn't like us going out without her initially, but it was more like separation rage than separation anxiety, she would bark her head off until we got to the end of the road, then go quiet. She was just trying it on, the little madam.

I lost my last dog in November, but will get another as soon as I've had the knee operation I'm waiting for. At the moment, I couldn't give a younger dog the exercise it needs. The old girl was happy to just plod around the field.