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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what the acceptable time is for kids being in the trampoline on the garden on a weekend?

283 replies

JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows · 21/03/2021 17:39

Next door's kids were out at 8am on the trampoline. Neighbour on their other side is hoping I'll kick off about it with her (we are friendly and she messaged me). But I think 8am is actually ok, but no sooner. I CBA with a neighbourly dispute (plus my kids are gobshites any given day of the week)

Thoughts on an acceptable time?

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 24/03/2021 21:09

"Do the kind of people whose children get up at 5 - and I am sorry but they absolutely can be trained out of that - have amnesia about their life before and you know, normal life where people mostly sleep til at least 7 during the week and lets say 9 at the weekend"

I'm sorry but its not possible to train all young children to sleep in til 9 on a weekend Hmm. It's not. And plenty of people are morning people and don't routinely lie in bed til 9am every weekend! I never have, I'm up at 7 going running.

My DH will pay a hefty sum to anyone who can train my 4 year old to sleep past 6.30am. We have tried everything. I can't really blame him since I am wide awake at that time myself every day without fail.

OnlyBejoking · 24/03/2021 21:12

Anything early than 8am is horrible. After 10 is preferable but I think 9 is probably a decent compromise. There's no way my kids would ever be allowed out to make a noise that early

fizbosshoes · 24/03/2021 21:44

I wake up around 6.30 -8, maybe 8.30am depending on time of year and how light it is, every day. DH seems to get up around 6.30 on weekdays and 7.30 at weekends.
My DC are tween-teen. The 11 year old wakes around 7 ish unless we have been out somewhere and hes gone to bed at 11 for example, the teen is in bed til at least 10.30 but I dont know what time she wakes. The latest I've ever woken up is about 9.30! I certainly wouldn't think 9am was unreasonably early to be outside.

PerveenMistry · 24/03/2021 21:54

@Doona

A bit facetious maybe but no, I think people are being outrageously entitled complaining about children playing in their own gardens in the daytime. Especially during lockdown. Have some consideration for others (as mothers on here are continually being told)!
And on the flip side, parents should train children to respect neighbors and not mindlessly squeal, scream, shout and shriek.

They don't need to vocalize at loud volume in order to entertain themselves.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 24/03/2021 22:07

I think a lot of the lie-abeds on this thread don't live in the country. Where I live (semi rural) 90% of people have a dog or ride. Lots of people walking past my house from 7am onwards, would be considered quite odd to expect to keep children indoors until 10 or 11. That would be considered the whole morning gone and an utter waste of good time out in the sun

theleafandnotthetree · 24/03/2021 22:20

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

"Do the kind of people whose children get up at 5 - and I am sorry but they absolutely can be trained out of that - have amnesia about their life before and you know, normal life where people mostly sleep til at least 7 during the week and lets say 9 at the weekend"

I'm sorry but its not possible to train all young children to sleep in til 9 on a weekend Hmm. It's not. And plenty of people are morning people and don't routinely lie in bed til 9am every weekend! I never have, I'm up at 7 going running.

My DH will pay a hefty sum to anyone who can train my 4 year old to sleep past 6.30am. We have tried everything. I can't really blame him since I am wide awake at that time myself every day without fail.

Oh I know 6.30 can be hard to crack, I actually said that 5 can be done though, in all but the most exceptional circumstances. 9 is unrealistic for most til the tween years.
theleafandnotthetree · 24/03/2021 22:22

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

I think a lot of the lie-abeds on this thread don't live in the country. Where I live (semi rural) 90% of people have a dog or ride. Lots of people walking past my house from 7am onwards, would be considered quite odd to expect to keep children indoors until 10 or 11. That would be considered the whole morning gone and an utter waste of good time out in the sun
I live in the country and I have a dog and shockingly have been known to lie in til 10 or even 11 if theres a hot man with me. Not everyone with a dog is tramping the streets at 7 in the morning.
OhToBeASeahorse · 24/03/2021 22:24

I'm all ears @theleafandnotthetree.

theleafandnotthetree · 24/03/2021 22:27

@OhToBeASeahorse

I'm all ears *@theleafandnotthetree*.
🤣. All I'll say is much as I love my dog, he can't compete with some good loving.
OhToBeASeahorse · 24/03/2021 22:31

No I meant the sleep. We have a 5.30 riser, you say he can be trained out of it...

theleafandnotthetree · 24/03/2021 22:45

@OhToBeASeahorse

No I meant the sleep. We have a 5.30 riser, you say he can be trained out of it...
Ooops, a much more uninteresting query. I said already and they are very mundane things really: bedtime which is neither too early nor too late, ensuring the daytime has the right balance in terms of food, fresh air and exercise, blackout blinds, we found the Groclock a great help. Doesnt work straight away or for everybody but over time, it mostly will
SakuraEdenSwan1 · 24/03/2021 23:10

Talking about trampolines, have any of you Mumsnetters got a sunken trampoline?

FireBelliedToad · 25/03/2021 20:24

we found the Groclock a great help.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Took DS about a week to figure out how to bypass the child lock and put it back on the sun.

Doesnt work straight away or for everybody but over time, it mostly will
I assume you mean if you keep it up until the teenage hormone (hopefully) kick in?

DancesWithDaffodils · 25/03/2021 20:38

@theleafandnotthetree I'd propose you had a child amenable to sleep, and just needed prodding in the right direction. Some kids just arent like that, and no amount of trying, persistence, consistency, begging, bribery, nifty tricks will persuade some children to sleep later. Trust me, we spent YEARS trying everything in your list, plus more.
I'm now well past the point where he can read a clock, and knows pretty much nothing other than blood or vomit is worth disturbing us before 6.30, and it has to be pretty important to disturb before 7. However 9 years ago, after 2 years of limited sleep, an offhand comment from someone about how of course anyone who didnt have a child sleeping through wasnt trying, and it was as simple as ABC would have destroyed me, and left me feeling even less competent than I already felt.

theleafandnotthetree · 25/03/2021 20:57

[quote DancesWithDaffodils]@theleafandnotthetree I'd propose you had a child amenable to sleep, and just needed prodding in the right direction. Some kids just arent like that, and no amount of trying, persistence, consistency, begging, bribery, nifty tricks will persuade some children to sleep later. Trust me, we spent YEARS trying everything in your list, plus more.
I'm now well past the point where he can read a clock, and knows pretty much nothing other than blood or vomit is worth disturbing us before 6.30, and it has to be pretty important to disturb before 7. However 9 years ago, after 2 years of limited sleep, an offhand comment from someone about how of course anyone who didnt have a child sleeping through wasnt trying, and it was as simple as ABC would have destroyed me, and left me feeling even less competent than I already felt.[/quote]
Sorry, that must be rough. I think if you'll look back over my posts, I said it was the 5 a.m wakers that could almost certainly be pushed on an hour (although there are always exceptions) and that yes, some children do just wake very early (6.30 or so). Mine were amenable to some of the tips and tricks but some like yours aren't. I wasn't in any way trying to say you or anyone wasnt trying hard enough. My original comment was a response to the OP talking about her neighbour putting children to bed at 5.30 p.m and bemoaning them rising at 5. Now that's asking for trouble

Amammai · 25/03/2021 21:04

It’s their garden, they can use it how they wish. 8am isn’t the crack of dawn, even on a weekend. And we’re still in lockdown so I’d expect people to be in gardens more. If people want to sleep in, then they can get ear plugs!

jessstan2 · 26/03/2021 02:03

@Amammai

It’s their garden, they can use it how they wish. 8am isn’t the crack of dawn, even on a weekend. And we’re still in lockdown so I’d expect people to be in gardens more. If people want to sleep in, then they can get ear plugs!
8am is very early for weekends. Ear plugs dull sound but do not eliminate it.

It's not unreasonable to encourage children to be considerate to neighbours.

HeronLanyon · 26/03/2021 08:12

Neighbours can’t ‘use their garden as they wish’ - well they can, but then they might expect requests from those nearby, environmental health involvement or whatever. We’ve surely got to have give and take living on top of each other and that includes a level of both tolerance and consideration. Trouble is when those two clash or are absent it’s a nightmare. Maybe school should teach ‘give and take’ ‘basic consideration of others’ ‘basic tolerance of things’. Yet another thing for schools to do which we might hope is part of parenting. Sorry schools !
Tbh I could have done with some of those lessons to help what was probably pretty good parental modelling Grin

MagicSummer · 26/03/2021 08:17

Never - most annoying things ever invented with the constant bounce, bounce, squeak, squeak, bounce, bounce, etc.!!!

LolaSmiles · 26/03/2021 08:31

HeronLanyon
Whilst I agree with you that 8am is too early to be considerate, I doubt environmental health or the council are going to care about children in a private garden within the at the same time that building sites are allowed to work at weekends and at a time where people are allowed to be using power tools.

I'm quite happy that 9am onwards is reasonable for gardening and children out, though some think half the morning should be on hold whilst they have a lie in so would complain about us as well.

HeronLanyon · 26/03/2021 08:44

Agree lola Re tramline and environmental health. Mine was in reply to comment made by ammammai - I often forget to identify when I refer to post right above (and I see it wasn’t right above anyway by the time I pressed ‘post’ in my long ramble. Confused

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/03/2021 08:45

I’d have thought 8 was OK in the week - as long as they’re not screaming - I mean that very high pitched screaming*, not normal play noise.

But not before 9 at weekends.

*I was driven mad by non-stop trampoline screaming by former neighbours’ kids - thank God they moved.

PerveenMistry · 26/03/2021 11:50

My neighbor kids have been out every night this week -- for or five at a time in the tramp, age 9 or 10, screaming/shrieking/shouting from 6pm to 8pm (dark)

I'm in the US, upper midwest, and this is the first week it would have been pleasant to sit out and plan garden chores. But no.

The parents deliberately located the tramp next to my fence and furthest away from their house. Then THEY sit on their front porch or in their front room where the noise is muffled. Meanwhile it's six feet away from my outdoor chairs.

I've lived here for 24 years and the last four have been misery due to these intrusive, inconsiderate, loudmouth assholes.

The properties in this old neighborhood are only 50 feet wide. They have a three-story new build (replacing quaint original bungalow) plus full finished basement and playroom but they send the kids to play in the driveway right outside my kitchen window or on that godforsaken trampoline.

This small city has numerous parks including one literally a 30-second walk away with large expensive playscape, soccer field, water fountains, covered pavilion with seating.

It's very safe here - zero crime; I haven't locked my doors in years unless traveling. Decades. The parents can see the park from their windows. But instead all the childed families on the block encourage noisy play with no heed for the rest of us.

PerveenMistry · 26/03/2021 11:56

@MagicSummer

Never - most annoying things ever invented with the constant bounce, bounce, squeak, squeak, bounce, bounce, etc.!!!

I don't mind the mechanical noise it's the screaming. When did it become permissible to scream and squeal in close quarters? We were taught not to scream unless a true emergency were under way. And I'm only in my 50s so 1970s, not 1870 child rearing.

My mom's theory as to why modern kids scream so much is day care. Our generation wasn't in childcare and didn't have to compete and clamor for attention, and was expected to be considerate in home and garden.

The ones who become part of a group tended by paid carers have to scream and yell to stand out, and aren't taught manners all day. I see the point of her theory. Whatever it is, they sound mindless and obnoxious.

PerveenMistry · 26/03/2021 11:57

@HeronLanyon

Neighbours can’t ‘use their garden as they wish’ - well they can, but then they might expect requests from those nearby, environmental health involvement or whatever. We’ve surely got to have give and take living on top of each other and that includes a level of both tolerance and consideration. Trouble is when those two clash or are absent it’s a nightmare. Maybe school should teach ‘give and take’ ‘basic consideration of others’ ‘basic tolerance of things’. Yet another thing for schools to do which we might hope is part of parenting. Sorry schools ! Tbh I could have done with some of those lessons to help what was probably pretty good parental modelling Grin
Silence is the default. One should have good reason for disturbing the peace. Surely kids can interact and vocalize in normal tones of voice. I'm talking 7, 8 and up not toddlers.
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