Should I not be having a wedding because of lockdown ?

[viixie]

I'll keep it as brief as I can. We booked our wedding last year for a date this year that has meaning to us (it marks a number of years spent together). At the time this was church wedding and reception sit down meal, party etc for around 80 people.

With lockdown this has now been restricted to 15 people. We still wanted to go ahead. However, I've had nothing but hassle from family. For example, why don't you do it next year when everyone can come? What about Uncle Peter? He'd want to see you married it's a shame he can't come. Don't you think it'd be better to do it next year ? Are you having your makeup done ? Well it'll be rubbish for me having my makeup done because I'll have to wear a mask and it'd be stupid (I'd offered to pay for their makeup). Well what are we going to do go to the ceremony we go home and have a little party on our own and you have one on your own ?

There are many more examples. Am I being selfish for still wanting to go ahead this year ? Surely it's the meaning of the marriage but family are making me dread the whole thing and feel really guilty. I almost feel like I want it to be over and done with now. I don't want to bring the topic up with people any more as everything just seems to be negative 😟

Yanbu, how rude of them. I’d sack off your family and elope.

Just get married do it how you want to do it, that’s my biggest regret. Doing what other ppl insisted I did.

FGS, and for the sake of your sanity, ELOPE. Best thing I ever did. You can have a family party a couple of years down the line if you want.

Go ahead
One way to mitigate is just two of you and witnesses.

I'd decline any wedding invitation where I was expected to wear a mask. FFS. I've been vaccinated twice.

Yanbu. They're rude. They're guestzillas.

Kindly suggest they dont come if its "too stressful" at the moment.

If you want to get married this year, with 15 guests, then do it. Ignore the naysayers. It is none of their business!

Of course it’s not unreasonable to want to go ahead with the 15 people. That must be such a hard decision to make and I don’t know why your family would give you hassle for it! Just ignore them! Or if you want, placate them by saying you’ll throw a huge wedding celebration party once the pandemic is over and we can have huge celebrations again. They’re probably all just disappointed, but you are the one who has the most disappointment to deal with and if you can suck it up so should they!

Take two witnesses and get married without such selfish relatives.

Congratulations and good luck.

Just get married as planned.
Anyone who comments or complains can be dropped from the guest list.
I am sure you can stream it for those who want to watch from home.

I am doing exactly this. We had the big wedding planned but had to postpone. Another date set same thing happened. We have decided to go ahead with our newly set date with 11 guests and are going to have a blessing next year with the reception etc. We just want to be married and have waited long enough. If family can't accept that then tough it's each other we're marrying not them!

This sounds horrible for you. Over the years I’ve concluded that there’s nothing quite like a wedding for families to push their opinions on adults who are quite capable of and entitled to their own decisions.

Yes, you could wait a year. What happens if this pandemic isn’t over by then and larger gatherings are still suspended? Hopefully that won’t be the case but we don’t know for sure. I have a friend who has re-arranged her wedding three times in the past year and is about to cancel it again.

If you want to get married, then do it. It’s about your love for one another and is more than just one day. Nothing to stop you having a big celebratory party when this is all over. You can have your dress and maybe renew your vows in front of your guests.

Do what makes you happy. Your families have to respect this. These are unusual times. We’re all having to make tough decisions and “make do”.

I will say this though. You are now embarking on your own family life. Don’t allow too much interference now or it could set a precedent for meddling throughout your married life. Take it from one who experienced just this and has paid the price ever since. I didn’t even enjoy my own wedding day because of nerves and guilt, due to excessive interference from both families. You’re adults. Make it clear that you make your own decisions.

You’re not selfish. Your family are.

This is exactly why i dont get married.
Do what you want to do, not what suits some far off relations you never see

Seems like your guests care about their happiness rather than yours and your partners. Focus on yourselves and have a lovely day.

We had this last year. Lots of tears from DHs side about why we weren’t waiting so everyone could come, etc.

They had a great time on the day and have said a few times recently that they’re really glad we went ahead.

Go for it. Have an amazing day. Ours was so different to the original plan, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

And we wouldn’t have been able to do our third new date, either, if we’d waited.

It’s your wedding not theirs and it’s about being married, not their make up or Uncle Whatnot

Sack off the lot of them and elope

Get married the way you want to, ignore relatives. I got married with two witnesses as I hated the pressure of a big wedding. Best thing we ever did.

Go for it. It's your day.

DB and his fiancee are hoping to get married next month, but the rules around their venue are currently not clear. If it goes ahead, it is just 15 people.

They were due to get married last spring.

As far as I am concerned, I really want to see my little brother get married, but ultimately it is one day. The marriage itself (not the wedding day) is the important bit. If that means DB, SIL and 2 witnesses, so be it.

They are planning on a big celebration when they can.

YANBU. Elope sounds good!

I would elope, or get married in a chip shop if they would allow it. ! All this interference from family,is wrong,and I would opt out of listening to any of them,and just do what you like on your special day.

In these times, everything is unpredictable,so you can have an unpredictable wedding, doing what you like.

If it is a date that has meaning for you both, go ahead. Say it to everyone else that it is a date that has meaning for you and that you look forward to having a celebration with everyone when that is allowed. But if it is just you 2 and the legal witnesses on a date that has meaning for you both, and you can legally do it, go ahead.

We did lots to please others and still didn't keep any of them happy but compromised lots of thinges that were important to us. Long before COVID but a few I still regret.

I was supposed to be getting married on Monday but now postponed till October.

We got married just us and close family in a registry office back in august when we weren't sure what was going on because we wanted to be married but we still want to celebrate with all our loved ones because that is important to us so we are holding the actual wedding in October and we are hopefully going to have all our family there

do what you think is best ❤️

Oh, you poor thing. People are being horrible to call you selfish for wanting to have your wedding. Ultimately the only people whose opinion matters is yours and your partners. You can always have a blessing and/or a party later when more people can come. I hate how people feel they have the right to dictate how your wedding should be. Good luck to you both.

Uninvite the lot of them and get married on your own!

It's your day, not theirs. In your shoes I would leave the family out completely and just elope.