To think this is ridiculous?

[Peterpainter]

I don’t normally post AIBUs and I apologise if this has been discussed already.

I know there are cases where abuse leads to abusers but seriously who aims to raise someone who will hurt women? Wtf?

How can anyone make that promise?

I know it’s just a silly picture and it doesn’t matter but it’s annoyed me.

YANBU ridiculous statement, nobody in their right mind purposely raised their child to be a nasty person, and i'd like to know can you even promise such a statement

Wow

I have felt uneasy about this quote this week too op. Seen it shared loads by mother’s of boys. I too have sons but it doesn’t sit right with me. To me it implies that men are offenders because of their upbringing! Upbringing may have an input in some cases but other times it’s not at all.

I say this as I come from a pretty average family. My beloved grandparents have 3 children. All raised in the same way, in a living home that neither too strict but nor too relaxed. Just normal. My grandpa and grandma were married for nearly 60 years before my grandpas death. My grandpa never laid a finger on my grandma. They were taught right from wrong. Anyway 1 of their 3 children (my uncle) is a pest. Been in trouble for harassing girls, borderline stalking etc, always had an eye for much younger girls etc, he used to beat his much younger girlfriend years ago. Nothing in his parents done would have triggered that. It was always out of their control. He was a trouble maker from a young age. Their other 2 children aren’t like this at all. Their other 2 children (inc my parent) are great people who wouldn’t do such thing! My uncles behaviour is not a reflection on my grandparents parenting at all!

Well isn’t that just another way of excusing the behaviour of these men.

@Biscuit9224 yes that’s how I feel about it. I just think it’s totally unfair on the many women who end up with monsters as sons through no fault of their own.

I actually find that quite disgusting. I'm sure the parents of the men that carry out such actions would never have believed their son(s) would ever be capable of such things.
And is it only applicable to parents that share it? The ones that don't are raising sons whom are safe around daughters simply by default?
It's just another band wagon to jump upon and post about on SM to seem in the moment solidarity

"Whom aren't safe"

Yes exactly. If you don’t share it are you saying you’re not quite sure if your son will end up a woman beater.

It’s blaming women again, in case (mothers) for the behaviour of adult men.

That is something no-one can promise. Our children end up independent autonomous individuals, who make their own choices, commit their own actions. We can do our best to raise them to be what we think are good human beings, but ultimately, acting as guarantor to their beliefs and actions, is not something we can realistically do.

Would be better phrased to say they're doing their best to ensure this. You can't always control how kids turn out.

@Thatwentbadly

It’s blaming women again, in case (mothers) for the behaviour of adult men.

I don't believe that's the case. Fathers also raise sons. It just tends to be (assuming) women/mothers whom are sharing this? Everyone hopes and believes they've raised their sons to be well rounded respectful men but no one can promise it. And what happens if the son does grow up to be one of the men who carries out these attacks? Has the parent failed their promise to the world via SM? Should the parent(s) also share the same punishment as the son who carried out the act as they haven't done a good enough job of keeping their promise? No. It's rubbish and just a Social media hype train that people seem to jump on

Jesse when will society accept this is a man problem??? Oh it won't cos you patriarchy and all that.

If I saw that I would think it was posted by an attention seeker.

@nursejekyll

If I saw that I would think it was posted by an attention seeker.

Agree.

I haven't seen this anywhere else (yet) but I don't think it's something that normal, sensible people will be sharing.

It's just such a massive eye roll. Such obvious bullshit.

How people are raised has a huge influence on how they treat people and generally live their lives. What exactly is so difficult to grasp about that?

@Thatwentbadly

It’s blaming women again, in case (mothers) for the behaviour of adult men.

It doesn't say the mother is doing this. A father could just as easily post it.

When people post about women being more careful, being aware of their surroundings, etc., the outcry is "why aren't we telling men not to harass women."
Here's a meme that implies just that, and that's somehow wrong too.

@sst1234 it’s not difficult to grasp at all and I’ve addressed it in my OP as has another poster but no one can promise their child won’t grow up to be an abuser/rapist/murderer.

Actually @steff13 that is a fair point that I take on board. Maybe if it was just ‘I will teach my son to respect others to the best of my ability’ or words to that affect. It wouldn’t seem as bad but the ‘I promise’ thing is grating on me. So twee too.

YABU. There needs to be a step change in educating men that women aren’t their punchbags, emotional or physical.

Yanbu! I've just seen this on a friends fb and I actually wanted to ask if they were purposely raising their 7 year old son as a rapist until just recently but obviously didn't!! Its such a ridiculous statement!

@Cassilis

YABU. There needs to be a step change in educating men that women aren’t their punchbags, emotional or physical.

But that doesn't happen just because someone posts something on social media and says they "promise"

@greeneyedlulu

Yanbu! I've just seen this on a friends fb and I actually wanted to ask if they were purposely raising their 7 year old son as a rapist until just recently but obviously didn't!! Its such a ridiculous statement!

I had this same conversation with my sister who posted it on FB.

It just makes me feel ick to think this sort of stuff when my kid is only 7. Of course I'm raising my son to be responsible, respectful and all the other things that come along with being a decent human being but to think of his future sex life now is just a bit much!

I dont like this because I dont think any mother says to their sons, 'it's ok son, go and smack your girlfriend, I'm sure she deserves it'. But so many posts on here show that women think that poor men can't possibly cope with working and ever get up in the night for a baby, they cant help not doing any housework because they don't notice the mess, they can't be an equal parent because children want their mother etc etc etc and I think they do indirectly contribute to the shit that women have to fave...So although I think no women will actively encourage their boys to treat women like shit, a lot of women will stay in a relationship with the kids dad and let him treat her like shit (I know leaving is not easy and often dangerous but also there is a lot of lower level shit that contributes as well), lot of women will put up with doing all the housework and all the childcare and take their cheating partner back etc etc which indirectly teaches boys that the way of the world is that men get away with shit, boys will be boys, they were only joking, that's just what men are like, etc etc.