AIBU?
To think this is ridiculous?
Peterpainter · 20/03/2021 19:23
I don’t normally post AIBUs and I apologise if this has been discussed already.
I know there are cases where abuse leads to abusers but seriously who aims to raise someone who will hurt women? Wtf?
How can anyone make that promise?
I know it’s just a silly picture and it doesn’t matter but it’s annoyed me.
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Biscuit9224 · 20/03/2021 19:48
I have felt uneasy about this quote this week too op. Seen it shared loads by mother’s of boys. I too have sons but it doesn’t sit right with me. To me it implies that men are offenders because of their upbringing! Upbringing may have an input in some cases but other times it’s not at all.
I say this as I come from a pretty average family. My beloved grandparents have 3 children. All raised in the same way, in a living home that neither too strict but nor too relaxed. Just normal. My grandpa and grandma were married for nearly 60 years before my grandpas death. My grandpa never laid a finger on my grandma. They were taught right from wrong. Anyway 1 of their 3 children (my uncle) is a pest. Been in trouble for harassing girls, borderline stalking etc, always had an eye for much younger girls etc, he used to beat his much younger girlfriend years ago. Nothing in his parents done would have triggered that. It was always out of their control. He was a trouble maker from a young age. Their other 2 children aren’t like this at all. Their other 2 children (inc my parent) are great people who wouldn’t do such thing! My uncles behaviour is not a reflection on my grandparents parenting at all!
MrBrightside1980 · 20/03/2021 19:57
I actually find that quite disgusting. I'm sure the parents of the men that carry out such actions would never have believed their son(s) would ever be capable of such things.
And is it only applicable to parents that share it? The ones that don't are raising sons whom are safe around daughters simply by default?
It's just another band wagon to jump upon and post about on SM to seem in the moment solidarity
mbosnz · 20/03/2021 20:03
That is something no-one can promise. Our children end up independent autonomous individuals, who make their own choices, commit their own actions. We can do our best to raise them to be what we think are good human beings, but ultimately, acting as guarantor to their beliefs and actions, is not something we can realistically do.
MrBrightside1980 · 20/03/2021 20:08
@Thatwentbadly
I don't believe that's the case. Fathers also raise sons. It just tends to be (assuming) women/mothers whom are sharing this?
Everyone hopes and believes they've raised their sons to be well rounded respectful men but no one can promise it.
And what happens if the son does grow up to be one of the men who carries out these attacks? Has the parent failed their promise to the world via SM? Should the parent(s) also share the same punishment as the son who carried out the act as they haven't done a good enough job of keeping their promise?
No. It's rubbish and just a Social media hype train that people seem to jump on
tuttifuckinfruity · 20/03/2021 20:11
@nursejekyll
Agree.
I haven't seen this anywhere else (yet) but I don't think it's something that normal, sensible people will be sharing.
It's just such a massive eye roll. Such obvious bullshit.
steff13 · 20/03/2021 20:14
@Thatwentbadly
It doesn't say the mother is doing this. A father could just as easily post it.
When people post about women being more careful, being aware of their surroundings, etc., the outcry is "why aren't we telling men not to harass women."
Here's a meme that implies just that, and that's somehow wrong too.
Peterpainter · 20/03/2021 20:20
Actually @steff13 that is a fair point that I take on board. Maybe if it was just ‘I will teach my son to respect others to the best of my ability’ or words to that affect. It wouldn’t seem as bad but the ‘I promise’ thing is grating on me. So twee too.
MrBrightside1980 · 20/03/2021 20:28
@greeneyedlulu
I had this same conversation with my sister who posted it on FB.
greeneyedlulu · 20/03/2021 20:34
It just makes me feel ick to think this sort of stuff when my kid is only 7. Of course I'm raising my son to be responsible, respectful and all the other things that come along with being a decent human being but to think of his future sex life now is just a bit much!
FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken · 20/03/2021 20:47
I dont like this because I dont think any mother says to their sons, 'it's ok son, go and smack your girlfriend, I'm sure she deserves it'. But so many posts on here show that women think that poor men can't possibly cope with working and ever get up in the night for a baby, they cant help not doing any housework because they don't notice the mess, they can't be an equal parent because children want their mother etc etc etc and I think they do indirectly contribute to the shit that women have to fave...So although I think no women will actively encourage their boys to treat women like shit, a lot of women will stay in a relationship with the kids dad and let him treat her like shit (I know leaving is not easy and often dangerous but also there is a lot of lower level shit that contributes as well), lot of women will put up with doing all the housework and all the childcare and take their cheating partner back etc etc which indirectly teaches boys that the way of the world is that men get away with shit, boys will be boys, they were only joking, that's just what men are like, etc etc.
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