Do I cancel date tomorrow?

[radiateforme]

Chatting to a guy for a while. Seemed lovely. Intelligent, seemingly kind, funny etc. Recently things got a bit flirty via text but I was quite reserved which made it a bit awkward (never met him before!). Now because I've showed a bit of interest, he's become really intense. Sending jokey messages 'how's my future gf' and asking me for selfies. He's nearly 40 and asking for selfies to me just seems daft and immature (I haven't sent him any). Am I being harsh here? Are these things normal? I'm only 30 but recently out of a LTR so haven't dated since my very early 20s...

Should I just cancel? Feels harsh the night before but he's really irritated my today with his questions. I'm also on day 1 of my period so can't work out if I'm just irritable...

Just say ‘thanks but no thanks. I went to the effort of sorting childcare, dropping my son there and getting ready, and you couldn’t even set an alarm? It’s not a good first impression of what kind of effort you would make and It tells me all I need to know about you . I won’t be responding any further.

He's apologised and said he was just really tired and is usually up by 9. Bloody 9!!!

Lucky escape! He sounds dreadful to be honest. I'd be tempted to not even reply, and block. Hopefully he'll turn up and be equally as inconvenienced. Serves him right.

Listen to your instincts and feelings. If he is irritating you then cancel. It would annoy me too - sounds like he could potentially be suffocating.

Oh God, please tell me you've cancelled.
This has got disaster written all over it.

@radiateforme

He's apologised and said he was just really tired and is usually up by 9. Bloody 9!!!

Bloody 9!!! That made me laugh

Please just leave him hanging for a while before you text back to tell him to fuck off! He doesn't deserve an immediate or a nice brush off.

It really doesnt matter if cancelling the night before is harsh. The op hardly knows him. She doesnt owe him anything. If you dont want to go op dont. Your having second thoughts and that in itself is enough to raise alarm bells.

Whether this man knows it or not, he is showing you how he feels about any potential relationship with you by a) sleeping in unusually late for him, and b) postponing. He has set the tone for anything to follow.

I'd be cancelling too.

Lucky escape!

@WhatMattersMost

Whether this man knows it or not, he is showing you how he feels about any potential relationship with you by a) sleeping in unusually late for him, and b) postponing. He has set the tone for anything to follow.

I'd be cancelling too.

I have a feeling it probably isn't unusually late for him

@Sassysally12

Just say ‘thanks but no thanks. I went to the effort of sorting childcare, dropping my son there and getting ready, and you couldn’t even set an alarm? It’s not a good first impression of what kind of effort you would make and It tells me all I need to know about you . I won’t be responding any further.

No point. (a) he would probably get a bit of a kick out of it or show it to his mates and (b) even if the OP rescheduled, chances are he will cancel on her again. He's that sort.

@radiateforme

Problem solved. We were meant to be meeting at midday. He text me at 10.45 to say he's just got out of bed 🙄 and to meet at 3, I told him I only have childcare until 5. His reply was "2 then". Not impressed. How do I word my next message?

He's definitely not a serious option. The fact he's acting like this, with the pictures, the gf comment and now being a bit cheeky...

At this stage he would be playing it cool if he was serious. Sounds like he wants sex and don't really care, having encountered these types before.

As someone said testing boundaries and seeing how gullible you are.

It's like he thinks I should be impressed!

@radiateforme tell me you’ve cancelled. Go and get a coffee or something you enjoy in your child free time.

I know how frustrating it is with childcare and dating so never give them a second chance if they don’t make the effort. Maybe that’s why I’m single haha

Have you spoke over video call? I can understand the requests for pics if you’ve not spoke over something like FaceTime, I’d want to make sure the person I was meeting looked the same as their pics too.

But you’re absolutely not unreasonable to cancel a date if you feel uncomfortable. You don’t owe him anything, not out of politeness or niceness, you owe him absolutely nothing and it is 100% ok to cancel. The same goes for every woman out there, never ever feel you need to go on a date with someone that’s making you feel uncomfortable because it’s the polite or nice thing to do.

@radiateforme

I should've cancelled yesterday.

That's exactly what you should say in your text response. Just that.

I got the ick just reading it.

So your date wasn't worth setting his alarm for? Charming..

How about 2? Reply how about ... you buy an alarm clock?
Or , I guess you’re not psychic like I thought? When he asks what you mean you can say ‘i’m not going to be you future gf afterall!’
This is him in ‘impress my date’ mode. Imagine him being unimpressive :/ I always ditched guys that were really late for a date, especially when they are so casual about it. I had one was an hour late and didn’t even say sorry til I pushed him about it.

What a twat! I'd just respond 'no thanks.' No more replies. Enjoy child free time.

Any more contact OP?

He sent me 14 messages overnight. What. The. Fuck.

@radiateforme

He sent me 14 messages overnight. What. The. Fuck.

Oh dear God.

Bin him and block.

Lucky escape. Always trust your gut.