To be fecking fecked off with DH's fag hands on remote, phone, dog, my hair

[SheDroveA2CV]

I've had enough of the fags!!!!! Can't bear it anymore and the "it's a habit" "I'll try to give up" shit. It's driving me fecking insane!!!!!!! The smell. The coughing up every morning. The fag butts in the garden. I put them on a plate. Nothing is working. He just doesn't want to give up. Do I just accept and live with it? I have told him he needs to stop smoking.

YABU to say "fecking" ick ick ick

He’s only going to give up if and when he decides he wants to. If it’s a dealbreaker then that’s your choice

Has he always smoked?

Depends if he’s always smoked since you’ve known him......

Feck off @HennyLenry

I know it's a horrible habit @SheDroveA2CV but he has to do it for himself. Has he ever tried to quit? From personal experience, it takes a few attempts to quit. Fail... fail better etc. Don't try to make him feel bad but keep up the pressure!

YABU if he smoked when you married him

You have my sympathies. My ex promised faithfully to give up when we had a baby, ok maybe the next baby, ok at new year, ok when it’s quieter at work, ok when the planets are auspiciously aligned. He never did though. He just likes smoking. And fuck everyone else.

It was always a deal breaker for me. DH was a social smoker when we met but he knew I hated so didn't smoke around me and only his mates. As time went on he saw less of his mates and when smoking in pubs was banned he gave up. I always hated him coming home from a night out, it was disgusting and I know I couldn't have managed if he smoked regularly.

It's difficult to change if you have always accepted it.

@RosieGirl27

YABU if he smoked when you married him

100% agree, my partner knew I smoked when he met me, and all he does is moan (he forgets he's not perfect himself), stench of his farts for a start 🤣🤣

I don't feel people should force others to stop doing something if they knew that person was doing that when they met

Smoked 3 or 4 a day when I met him now it's 10-15 a day. It's just the ashtray stench. The smell of it makes me sick.

@hennylenry Ok, fuck. But "ick ick ick"?

I feel your pain. We have the most cutest and affectionate of kittens who i love to cuddle but if DP, a smoker, has just been stroking him the poor kitten smells of smoke. Horrid!
Its worse with lockdown as we are both working from home and so we are just exposed to his smoke more. He only smokes in the garden but it seems to blow into the house when he comes back in.

Yabu if he smoked when you first got together. He might have increased the habit but yabu to expect him to stop if he was doing it when he met you.

It is a disgusting habit and would be a deal breaker for me

@HennyLenry

YABU to say "fecking" ick ick ick

It's a perfectly legitimate Irish word so feck off with your ick.

I stopped with Champix, and it took no willpower at all. This was after I'd spent thousands of pounds to give myself COPD.

Champix is on the NHS. Ask him to phone his GP; it's wonderful stuff.

I second Champix - the only thing that’s worked for me. Not smoked for over 7 years now.

@HennyLenry

YABU to say "fecking" ick ick ick

1. It's Irish.

1. Fuck off with your twee little "ick ick ick".

He’s only telling you that he’ll try to give up because you keep nagging him about it. Clearly, he doesn’t want to give up any time soon.

I’m a smoker and I kind of assume that at some point in life I’ll feel like I want to give up, but for now, I don’t want to, so simply wouldn’t be able to. I’m not sure why you think ‘I’ve told him he needs to stop smoking’ is relevant, people have never been able to give up addictions that they want to continue just because other people have told them they shouldn’t do it.

Unfortunately like any addiction he will only give up when he wants to!

Champix was the way I gave up, would recommend it

I could not be with someone who smoked. It's gross and makes everything they touch or breath on, or even just enters their home, stink.

You cannot change anyone’s behaviour. He doesn’t want to stop smoking so decide if it’s a dealbreaker or not then make your decision, but it’s not acceptable to constantly tell him to stop.

I’m an ex smoker. I stopped as I needed an operation and never started again but I do have the odd cigarette when pissed.

I smoked when I met my DH - he didn’t like it but absolutely accepted it.

yuk.

even addicts can avoid dropping litter, he's rather a skank, isn't he? He could at least pick up his muck.

if he was a turd-burner when you got together I'm afraid you signed up for this. If you no longer want to (and I wouldn't blame you) then he doesn't have to change but you know what you need to do.

Lol at feck, ick, ick, ick.

Here in Ireland we say it often and it's a lot less vulgar than fuck.

@HennyLenry

YABU to say "fecking" ick ick ick

YABU with your ick ick ick. What the FECK is that about

You knew he was a smoker when you married him not sure why he has to quit for you now