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To think it's quite rude to ask this!

37 replies

Mammyloveswine · 19/03/2021 13:34

So I got a letter saying I could have my covid vaccine...was surprised as didn't think I'd be called so soon but rang my gp who clarified why (underlying health conditions).

Anyway I mentioned that I had my vaccine booked and the amount of people who have asked "why are you getting it? What are your health conditions?" Etc is staggering! (I did say today "that's quite a personal question to ask someone about their private medical information" and to be fair she replied saying she hadn't thought of it that way).

I suppose it's similar to when you announce a pregnancy...I had loads of people say "was it planned?"!

Also..after a period of absence from work people asking "what's been the matter?". I had a week off for very personal reasons which I only shared with my line manager and overall manager and it was so awkward coming back as everyone was asking probing questions!

I don't think people are generally meaning to be rude and are just interested/nosy but it's just struck me this week how many people have asked quite intrusive questions!

OP posts:

ssd · 19/03/2021 13:35

People are nosey buggers.


I8toys · 19/03/2021 13:42

I'm 49 and got my text today for a jab on Tuesday. I thought I'd have ages to wait but we must be super efficient in our region! Or maybe they are just getting quicker and there are less "younger" people to vaccinate. Who knows. I wouldn't worry just be glad you're getting it.


GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 19/03/2021 13:43

Yanbu! It’s incredibly rude and I’m so surprised many people don’t get this.

Tbf I don’t mind telling people mine - I have a heart condition - but that’s not a given!


MarieIVanArkleStinks · 19/03/2021 13:44

In these situations, smiling and putting the simple question of 'why do you ask?' is enough to give some people pause for thought; that is, if they even have a modicum of insight. Of course, a lot of people don't. In those cases something a lot less subtle is called for.

I'd agree that half the time it's probably more a case of people not thinking about what they're saying. Or that they are just nosy buggers. I also believe that in many contexts people seem more than happy to part with detailed personal information on request (cf. those Bounty reps on maternity wards). No one's entitled to information from you just because they ask for it.


user1493413286 · 19/03/2021 13:46

I think people ask a lot of things that are rude without thinking; I had an elective c section with my second baby and a lot of people asked why (work colleagues rather than friends) which I thought was quite intrusive.
I had a covid vaccine due to my job and have found people to be a bit funny about it.


ProfMcGonigle · 19/03/2021 13:47

I can see your point OP but I suppose the person in question felt it was ok to ask as you'd initiated the vaccine conversation in the first place.

What should her response have been?

I think you probably shouldn't have mentioned it if you didn't want to discuss it further.

Re pregnancy, I do agree completely. I got this all the time after we purposely left an age gap. The amount of people who called out that the pregnancy must have been unplanned was surprising (and annoying).

Eventually I got so pissed off hearing it, I became quite rude in my responses!


Sparklesocks · 19/03/2021 13:51

I agree it’s rude to ask. You never know if someone has an underlying condition they don’t feel comfortable speaking about. Fair enough if they offer up the reason themselves or mention it, but you shouldn’t ask anyone outright. It’s none of anyone’s business anyway. You know that anyone getting the vaccine now (and below a certain age) must be in that group for one reason or another, it’s not like they’ve tricked someone into letting them jump the queue!


Tinydinosaur · 19/03/2021 13:52

I think if you share half a story then people think you want them to ask. If you're telling people you've got your jab booked then what are they supposed to say? "OK."
Same if someone's been ill for a while it seems only polite to enquire.
I think people are just trying to continue the conversation you started.


Letseatgrandma · 19/03/2021 13:54

I would be surprised if someone my age or younger told me they’d booked their jab so would probably ask if they had underlying health conditions. I wouldn’t ask what they were though.

I’d be interested as if they said no, that would mean that potentially I’d be getting contacted soon if we lived in the same area.


dropthedeadhorse · 19/03/2021 13:57

It is rude to ask but why tell people you are getting the jab if you don’t want them to know about your underlying health condition? Of course people will be curious.

When I got the flu jab because I was pregnant (early on in the pregnancy) I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want them to question why I was getting it. Simple really.


FoonySpucker · 19/03/2021 13:57

If you're telling people you've got your jab booked then what are they supposed to say? "OK."

Um. Yes. Why not?


HeddaGarbled · 19/03/2021 14:00

With the vaccine, I think people want to know in order to know whether they or their relatives might also be eligible.

With the work illness issue, I think they’re just being friendly and showing an interest.

In both cases, there are ways of answering without going into detail if you prefer not to.

Most people I know are eager to bang on about their medical issues, at length, given the tiniest bit of encouragement!


Runnerduck34 · 19/03/2021 14:03

I don't think people mean to be rude, they are just curious. Vaccine and eligibility have been discussed everywhere and I suppose I can see why it might be considered a normal topic of conversation .
You both handled it well, hopefully no hard feelings on either part.


Bluntness100 · 19/03/2021 14:03

I think peoooe are just generally curious as to why you’re getting it so they can then refer it back to their and their friends /family situation to see if they are due it too.

Generally for most it won’t be an issue,,ie I have asthma, or arthritis or whatever. Clearly other things might be more discomfiting to say.

I doubt it’s 8ntended as rude.


idontlikealdi · 19/03/2021 14:03

It's rude but people are trying to work out where they are in the pecking order so to speak.

If you don't want questions, don't tell them!


C130 · 19/03/2021 14:05

Why did you feel the need to tell people in the first place? Keep your business to yourself, then people will not ask.


TheYearOfSmallThings · 19/03/2021 14:07

It's rude to ask out loud, but every single person you tell will be wondering why you are eligible. If you prefer not to discuss it, the easiest thing might be not to announce that you've had it.


Suzi888 · 19/03/2021 14:07


People are nosey buggers.

^^ this Grin

EveningOverRooftops · 19/03/2021 14:08

I had my jab. I’m in my 30s.
Certain individuals have kicked up a fuss that I’m somehow milking the system it I’ve somehow cheated.

I got mine because I am a carer. I also have a BMI of 39 (but dropping) and I’m asthmatic but that’s not the reason I got it.

It’s because I care for a vulnerable person


SixDegrees · 19/03/2021 14:11


People are nosey buggers.

Probably mostly this, with possibly some vaccine envy added in.

I have not actually asked anyone directly (none of my business etc etc), but when I’ve seen people my age or younger talking or posting about their vaccine invites, unless they’re also mentioning any qualifying conditions at the same time, I have been wondering why they’ve got the offer ahead of the age category becoming eligible.

I have now had a text inviting me to make an appointment because of an underlying health condition, but the questioning you mention is exactly why I’m planning on keeping quiet about it until everyone in my age category is eligible for the vaccine.

AnneLovesGilbert · 19/03/2021 14:11


I'm 49 and got my text today for a jab on Tuesday. I thought I'd have ages to wait but we must be super efficient in our region! Or maybe they are just getting quicker and there are less "younger" people to vaccinate. Who knows. I wouldn't worry just be glad you're getting it.

I had this last week, in my 30s and no known health conditions, had a text from my GP with a link to book so did it. Got a text from the NHS the day after telling me to book because of my underlying health condition. Still not sure what that might be, I’m anaemic but that’s about it.

So you might get a further message, or your area may be steaming ahead.

It was a great experience, so well organised, everyone was delightful and I was in and out in no time. Had the AZ and they mentioned the recent news coverage unprompted and asked if I wanted to discuss any concerns. I didn’t but they were efficient, thorough and lovely.

SimplyMarvellousDarrrrrrling · 19/03/2021 14:13

I agree with you , its rude and none of their business . I get annoyed when people ask why im going to the drs though


BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/03/2021 14:13

Some people forget they’re talking about other people’s personal medical information.

My DM has a habit of talking about things related to me to other people. Labour details, scans, breastfeeding trauma. I reminded her recently that that was my private information to share, not hers.


trevthecat · 19/03/2021 14:16

I had my first a few weeks ago. My neighbour asked why I was entitled to it!!


Mammyloveswine · 19/03/2021 14:19

I only mentioned it as someone was saying it seemed to be rolling out quickly and I said "oh yes I've got mine booked!".

I don't mind anyone knowing why I've had mine but some people may not wish to disclose why.

No hard feelings with the nosy Nora who asked me today! And as it happens I did tell her why but she did say she hadn't thought that it was a personal question and would think again before asking. We had an interesting discussion on it actually, no fallings out!

And fwiw when I've been told other people are getting their vaccine (even tho I've wondered why) all I've said is "that's great!" as the roll out has been fantastic so far! (And I say that as a non-Tory!)

OP posts:
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