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AIBU?

To think it's quite rude to ask this!

37 replies

Mammyloveswine · 19/03/2021 13:34

So I got a letter saying I could have my covid vaccine...was surprised as didn't think I'd be called so soon but rang my gp who clarified why (underlying health conditions).

Anyway I mentioned that I had my vaccine booked and the amount of people who have asked "why are you getting it? What are your health conditions?" Etc is staggering! (I did say today "that's quite a personal question to ask someone about their private medical information" and to be fair she replied saying she hadn't thought of it that way).

I suppose it's similar to when you announce a pregnancy...I had loads of people say "was it planned?"!

Also..after a period of absence from work people asking "what's been the matter?". I had a week off for very personal reasons which I only shared with my line manager and overall manager and it was so awkward coming back as everyone was asking probing questions!

I don't think people are generally meaning to be rude and are just interested/nosy but it's just struck me this week how many people have asked quite intrusive questions!

OP posts:
PrelovedWithValue · 19/03/2021 14:20

Why tell people about it is you don't then want to speak about it?

PrelovedWithValue · 19/03/2021 14:21

Cross post!

Easterbunnygettingready · 19/03/2021 14:22

Some people just can't stand seeing someone get something for free they haven't got. Even if it is an injection!!

Toomanykidsandcats · 19/03/2021 14:43

People are just nosey. I get asked a random question most days about my twins and DD with disabilities. E.g. did you conceive naturally or IVF? You would never ask a woman pregnant with one baby that! A very personal question! I’ve come to realise most people mean no harm or offence, they are just really nosey. Also had my vaccine as I’m a carer for my DD but no one has mentioned why I’ve had it luckily.

BreatheAndFocus · 19/03/2021 14:44

I don’t think it’s personal because we’re all going to be offered it eventually, so it’s not like it’s a special thing that’s indicative of anything private.

Moreover, lots of people are asking because they’re keen to know when they’re going to get their vaccine. It’s probably not about you, but more about them. They’re just waiting to hear ‘how you qualified’ so they can work out if they’ll be soon or if they’ve missed something that means they now qualify for it too.

I’ve had my vaccine. When people ask why, I just say “because I’m clinically vulnerable - Group 6”. No-one - literally not a single person has asked ‘what’s wrong with me. They’ve all gone on to tell me what Group they’re in and chat about their thoughts about their future vaccine.

Plumbear2 · 19/03/2021 14:49

I'm in a age group not called yet but have had it due to medical reasons. The only people I told where my parents and my teenage kids. No one else's needs to know.

Letseatgrandma · 19/03/2021 17:02

I don't mind anyone knowing why I've had mine but some people may not wish to disclose why

Well, yes, but if I didn’t want people asking me questions about my vaccination, I wouldn’t tell them I’d been done. If you choose to volunteer the fact that you’ve been done-it’s sort of inviting conversation about it.

EnterFunnyNameHere · 19/03/2021 17:20

I do think it's rude to ask, but equally if I'm talking to someone I don't want to explain to I just don't mention I've had my jab already.

I think if you're obviously not in the expected age group and bring up the jab yourself, it's not that surprising (but still rude!) that people ask...

Cadent · 19/03/2021 17:42

Anyway I mentioned that I had my vaccine booked and the amount of people who have asked "why are you getting it? What are your health conditions?" Etc is staggering!

I only mentioned it as someone was saying it seemed to be rolling out quickly and I said "oh yes I've got mine booked!".

So you've told a 'staggering' amount of people that you've had the vaccine and are then surprised when they ask you why?

And then you go one to say you only mentioned it to 'someone'...which is it?

Anyway, stop bragging about having the vaccine when many of us are facing delays due to lack of supply.

Cocomarine · 19/03/2021 17:50

So you were happy to tell her, because you were happy to answer.

Surely someone who didn’t want to say, wouldn’t have mentioned it in the first place?

So I think it’s relevant that you had, as others have said, socially signalled to her that it was OK to ask you.

I’m with you on the pregnancy question - never ever ask someone if it was planned 🙈

SayrraT · 20/03/2021 05:36

My partner, 37, has just had his. When asked why he just said "I tick a box".

I think people only ask why when someone young and apparently 'healthy' gets vaccinated as they are keen to know if the vaccinations in their area might be ahead of schedule. I genuinely think people are just hoping that it will be their turn soon and not thinking about the potential personal question.

ragged · 20/03/2021 06:18

"I'm getting married!" Approved Response = "Oh" (coz you know, asking when, to who, or other details would be asking for rather private info)

"We're having a baby!" Approved Response = "Oh" (coz asking when is it due would be asking when they DTD, way too intrusive)

"I got a new job" Approved Response = "Oh" (coz asking what was wrong with the old job would be way too sensitive)

etc.

People don't mean it saying they want an "Oh" response. They just don't want you to ask anything that expresses their own prejudices. That's why they don't like the "Was it planned?" or "What's your health condition?" because they fully agree that unplanned babies mean feckless sexual behaviour & that most people who claim health conditions are scrounging liars. They assume you hold the same prejudices as them is the main reason they take offence.

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