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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About driving kids to school

246 replies

Rowanapp · 18/03/2021 21:32

So I walk the kids to school, and then cycle to work. Now secondary schools are back the traffic is awful again. I hate the fumes and worry about my kids developing lungs and brains being exposed to them. Why is the traffic so bad? Key workers presumably have always been driving to work. Everyone else still WFH. I always thought parents needed to drive due to needing to go on to work but that can’t be the case it must be parents driving children to school. I live 1.1 miles from school and up quite a big hill but mine have walked from starting at 4, or scooted (but I worry about scooter because of the traffic and now are good on bikes but I can’t cycle on the road with them because of the traffic)
Why can’t these children walk? I get some rural kids can’t but in a densely populated city why not just send your kids to a school within a few miles and let them walk. It’s good for their mental health and learning and physical inactivity is a far bigger killer than covid. Obviously some children have disabilities and specific challenges but honestly when did we become like this that most kids are thought incapable of walking a couple of miles a day.

OP posts:
LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 10:52

BlingLoving
That sounds like a good arrangement. I'd also like to see clean air zones around schools too.

springtimesunshine
That makes total sense. It's also nice to see someone who does need to drive being responsible and also acknowledging there's a lot of irresponsible parking, engines running, crowding round schools when there's other options. It's much better than the defensive "but I want to drive, don't like walking and have to be 22cm from the gates because I do" sort of replies.

MabelPines · 19/03/2021 10:53

I live an 8 minute minute walk from school, my son has ASD and ADHD so it takes us about 20 minutes, (ooh let’s look at this interesting rock, now let’s talk about geology for 10 minutes! Grin ) which I allow for , and there are at least 8 parents who live between my house and the school who take their kids in the car every single day, there is just no need.

No one begrudges people taking their kids in cars to schools over a few miles away, but all these unnecessary journeys from people who could walk are definitely contributing to the crap state of our poor earth.

2late2fixate · 19/03/2021 10:54

@Mrgrinch

If nothing else, this is extremely ableist.

Of you don't like traffic and fumes then why the hell are you living in a city?

The majority of children are able.

There's always someone ready with the "what about such and such a group of people?"

Yeh fine. Great. If you can't walk, then drive.

Back to the OP's point...

WoodleImp · 19/03/2021 10:54

@NailsNeedDoing

I can never understand why people think that the way others transport their children to school is anyone else’s business.

You say it has an impact on others as if that makes a difference, it doesn’t. Cyclists and horse riders and tractors have an impact on my journey to work every day, but as much as the selfish cyclists irritate me, I’m not entitled enough to think that strangers should go out of their way to make my day a little better.

You do you OP, and stop judging other people for choices you have no idea about.

But... it obviously impacts others on a scale that far exceeds those other examples but several orders of magnitude? Cyclists and horse riders aren't causing massive congestion, horrifyingly lethal accidents and air pollution - that's completely indisputable. Just own the fact that you don't care about others/society/the environment at all and prioritise yourself to the point that you can't even recognise there might, even in the smallest way, be the possibility of doing things in a better way.
Mrgrinch · 19/03/2021 10:56

The majority of children are able.

The majority of children need to walk with an adult.

TooOldandTired · 19/03/2021 10:58

@Mrgrinch

If nothing else, this is extremely ableist.

Of you don't like traffic and fumes then why the hell are you living in a city?

Of course it is but how dare you say that to the sanctimonious 'I'm better than you' crowd who will now say of course I didn't mean you! The point is maybe stop judging everyone whose personal circumstances you know nothing about. If you want to start a movement to encourage people to walk/cycle by all means do that but you don't do it by shaming people who can't or don't for whatever reason when you have zero idea why.
2late2fixate · 19/03/2021 10:59

@Mrgrinch

The majority of children are able.

The majority of children need to walk with an adult.

They don't.

This is a fairly recent development in our society. The world would be a better place if more parents let their kids walk to and from school themselves.

BeautifulDay12 · 19/03/2021 10:59

We used to walk when we were within 10 mins of school but then moved. It would take me 20 mins to walk back and at the moment drop off is at a very specific time (staggered by year group) and I literally need to get home and start work within 10 mins of dropping off, so I have to drive. I will scoot in better weather and on days when my child is happy to walk (big hill so can’t scoot to school, just home). I can’t speak for anyone else, but that’s why I drive. I didn’t even own a car before the move but we had to move because renting near the school was extortionate.

TooOldandTired · 19/03/2021 11:02
  • They don't.

This is a fairly recent development in our society. The world would be a better place if more parents let their kids walk to and from school themselves.*

And how the hell do you know this. Sure I'll send my 5 and 7 year old to walk to 20 mins to school across 2 main roads on their own. If they don't get killed I'm pretty sure I would have the school reporting me to social service.

Branleuse · 19/03/2021 11:04

I think most secondary school kids do walk, and the ones that dont are the ones that live a fair distance away usually. Most people arent going to want to have to drive their kid twice a day if they dont have to. Primary schools more people drive, but secondary school kids usually want to walk with their mates, and the parents work, hence why the streets are full of kids walking at kicking out time

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 11:05

Yeh fine. Great. If you can't walk, then drive.
Exactly.
Cars have their uses. It's a sad state of affairs when discussing needless car journeys, which causes issues around schools and contributes to bigger environmental issues is met with such defensiveness from people who don't like the impact of their choices being discussed.

Most of the time I walk to the shop/small supermarket. Sometimes shit happens or we're short on time so I drive. I don't like doing lots of short journeys by car so don't get too wound up by it when I know my other choices are mindful, but I'd not be getting defensive if someone pointed out that regularly driving round the corner for milk is a bit lazy and bad for the environment. It is. They don't need to sort their own lives out to comment.

NormanStangerson · 19/03/2021 11:06

Some parents walk, some parents cycle, some parents drive, some parents could walk and choose to cycle, some could cycle and choose to drive, some could drive and choose to walk, some could walk and choose to drive...

Such is the rich tapestry of (a free) life.

meanderingthrough · 19/03/2021 11:06

TA that drives to my local school, lives about 300m away. I've seen kids driven shorter distance. Oh and parents parked up early on their phones, ignoring kids. At least have the decency to switch your engines off. Cyclist bashing: sigh.

NormanStangerson · 19/03/2021 11:08

This is a fairly recent development in our society. The world would be a better place if more parents let their kids walk to and from school themselves

It would certainly thin the population, all the kids I know are thick as mince at crossing roads. That comes with age and education. Mostly.

TooOldandTired · 19/03/2021 11:09

@NormanStangerson 😂😂😂

2late2fixate · 19/03/2021 11:11

@TooOldandTired

* They don't.

This is a fairly recent development in our society. The world would be a better place if more parents let their kids walk to and from school themselves.*

And how the hell do you know this. Sure I'll send my 5 and 7 year old to walk to 20 mins to school across 2 main roads on their own. If they don't get killed I'm pretty sure I would have the school reporting me to social service.

How do I know this?

It would be better for the children's health and development
There would be fewer cars on the road as parents wouldn't be shuttling their kids about and clogging up the area around schools
Kids walked to school themselves at these ages for years, and until fairly recently. I'm only 34 and children of this age were capable of walking to school, often in friendship groups

As a parent you can choose when to let them start walking alone. If you think 7 is too young then start them at 8.

garlictwist · 19/03/2021 11:12

@FightingTheFoo

You know what drives me mad? Cyclists clogging up the road at 12 miles an hour while a bus full of 20 people has to drag behind them for miles.

Why can't cyclists take public transport?

I'm sorry but this is a foolish comment. Public transport only goes on set routes. If I cycle to my mum's, for example, it takes me ten minutes. If I got the bus I'd have to walk ten mins to the bus stop at the bottom of my hill, sit on a bus for twenty minutes, then walk ten minutes to her house.
2late2fixate · 19/03/2021 11:13

@NormanStangerson

This is a fairly recent development in our society. The world would be a better place if more parents let their kids walk to and from school themselves

It would certainly thin the population, all the kids I know are thick as mince at crossing roads. That comes with age and education. Mostly.

That's because they're growing up in a society that doesn't let them take risks and learn how to navigate around their community.

There's a lot of work to undo what has been done.

365sleepstogo · 19/03/2021 11:13

LTNs have made the traffic in our area horrendous.
For the majority, the need to drive to work/school hasn’t changed. However, they are now all channeled down a limited number of roads (and over greater distance) without increasing/improving the public transport and school transport network.
The result is queuing traffic in standstill for longer, which is more polluting than moving traffic.

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 11:18

2late2fixate
I think you might be onto something.
The last few years I've notice there's been a flurry of threads in the summer term of posters worried sick that their child will have to make their own way to secondary school.
If it was typical big school worries then I'd undertsand, but it seems increasingly common to see posters saying their child has never walked to the corner shop alone, has never walked round to their friends or played out, never been to the park with friends etc.

When I think back to my school days it was the norm to walk with friends in year 5 and 6, or younger if you were with older siblings or your friends' older siblings. There was a lollipop lady for the busier road near school.

Then again there's a chicken and the egg, as more parents become convinced that everything is dangerous, the more they drive, the more cars are on the road so the more parents decide they can't let their child near the dangerous road. And so it goes on.

FooFighter99 · 19/03/2021 11:18

@Rowanapp

All those saying personal choice. You do realise that your choices affect others. Presumably you followed COVID rules because you didn’t want to harm others by the virus spreading. Air pollution is implicated in around 20000 deaths per year in the UK. Around 1500 people and children die each year after being hit by cars. The car culture in the UK will have to change in the next ten years. I get that they are convenient and quick and I’ve driven in the past (no car atm but wouldn’t rule out in the future) But these personal choices impact on all of us. If you really have no choice don’t feel bad. But if you could do something different I think you should. Maybe more flexible drop off times in school would ease congestion though as this seems to be a big issue?
Well my DD's school is less than a mile, takes about 10 minutes each way.

But when I have to then drive 20ish minutes to my job in the NHS, and I have time sensitive work to do, I sometimes prefer to drive the school run

BUT my car is fully electric... so you can kindly kiss my arse

LaceyBetty · 19/03/2021 11:21

This is a fairly recent development in our society. The world would be a better place if more parents let their kids walk to and from school themselves.

Our school won't allow kids to walk alone until Year 6. Not sure they have that authority/jurisdiction over parents' decisions, but everyone follows the rule at our school.

Sceptre86 · 19/03/2021 11:24

I live a 30 minute walk away from the nearest primary school. I takes me that long to walk there on my own, with two kids in tow it takes nearly an hour, they are 3 and 4 years old. Couple that with bad weather and the fact that the school is up a hill it takes ages. I do walk the kids to school on my days off when the weather is nice as I do not drive. On my working days, dh drops them off to school before giving me a lift to work. If he didn't I wouldn't get to work on time or the kids would be late. I am learning to drive but have had my test cancelled three times due to covid. Yabu not everyone can live that close to the school and for those of us who have been going out to work during the pandemic time is of the essence.

2late2fixate · 19/03/2021 11:24

@LaceyBetty

This is a fairly recent development in our society. The world would be a better place if more parents let their kids walk to and from school themselves.

Our school won't allow kids to walk alone until Year 6. Not sure they have that authority/jurisdiction over parents' decisions, but everyone follows the rule at our school.

They do not have that authority.

Thankfully more and more parents are getting wise to what's happening and are pushing back against this kind of nonsense.

2late2fixate · 19/03/2021 11:27

@LolaSmiles

You're right that it's a vicious circle. More parents need to push against it. Make the effort and get your kids out on their own. That's the only way to break the cycle.