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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About driving kids to school

246 replies

Rowanapp · 18/03/2021 21:32

So I walk the kids to school, and then cycle to work. Now secondary schools are back the traffic is awful again. I hate the fumes and worry about my kids developing lungs and brains being exposed to them. Why is the traffic so bad? Key workers presumably have always been driving to work. Everyone else still WFH. I always thought parents needed to drive due to needing to go on to work but that can’t be the case it must be parents driving children to school. I live 1.1 miles from school and up quite a big hill but mine have walked from starting at 4, or scooted (but I worry about scooter because of the traffic and now are good on bikes but I can’t cycle on the road with them because of the traffic)
Why can’t these children walk? I get some rural kids can’t but in a densely populated city why not just send your kids to a school within a few miles and let them walk. It’s good for their mental health and learning and physical inactivity is a far bigger killer than covid. Obviously some children have disabilities and specific challenges but honestly when did we become like this that most kids are thought incapable of walking a couple of miles a day.

OP posts:

QuiteContraryMarie · 19/03/2021 10:33

We live a 15 minute cycle from my daughter’s primary school. My husband does the school run as I work early so never do drop off or pick up. He drives our big 4x4 to the school maybe 4 days a week. It irritates me no end because they could easily cycle. They are both fit and healthy and there’s no excuse for it when it’s not raining. But if it’s not anything but blue skies and sunshine, it’s into the car they get. We have an argument about it most days.

QuiteContraryMarie · 19/03/2021 10:33

By the way the 15 minute cycle is a 20 minute drive in traffic.

EatTheMince · 19/03/2021 10:34

We moved after the kids started school so now we have to drive. I could move the kids school of course but in normal times I would be driving anyway to get to the office so seemed no point.

poppycat10 · 19/03/2021 10:36

There will always be people who "must" drive to work because their toddler can't walk that far (funny how they didn't think of that before the had a second or subsequent child) or because they need to get to work afterwards, but the point is you don't have to park near a school. In most areas there are places 5-10 mins walk away you could use to park, rather than being lazy and insisting on parking opposite someone's driveway because it's 90 seconds away.

A parent's right to drive their gas guzzling status symbol car will always outweigh risks related to air pollution. It needs to become as socially unacceptable as drinking and driving.

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 10:36

BlingLoving
It's ignoring the rules of the road that annoys me. Unfortunately at the schools near me, the inconsiderate parking is more noticable than the responsible parking.

For one school, by the time parents have avoided the school zigzags, avoided the double yellows, avoided driveways and avoided corners and junctions (I'm chuckling here because obviously many don't), you're actually more than 5 minutes walk from the school. Then there's spill over onto other residential roads with associated pavement blocking, drive blocking etc. To park responsibly near school would involve a 5/10minute walk, and yet this is still apparently far too much for some parents to entertain.

I used to live near a school where parents would block driveways and get verbally abusive to residents if we pointed out that we were now late leaving as we had to wait for them to stop blocking out drives. The school sent newsletters out, they had staff out on some days, but they were ultimately helpless. I'm sure that these parents also had big important jobs and places to be though, so much more important than our jobs and appointments.

TooOldandTired · 19/03/2021 10:36

I drive my kids to school because it takes less time, I'm fat, lazy and tired and the weather is crap. I'm also rarely the person who take them to school. Yes it probably is selfish but go away and examine every part of you life and say you don't do anything selfish that impacts other people/the environment.

DataColour · 19/03/2021 10:36

As for driving kids to school. I see this all the time. Lots of parents who live a few minutes walk away driving the kids to school and back home again. They can't all be having mobility issues. Infact I know many of these parents and none of them do. They don't want their precious kids walking to school, perhaps they are worried about their safety. I get that...but it makes it less safe and polluting for my kids who do chose to walk the 30mins to get to their schools. Selfish selfish selfish.

poppycat10 · 19/03/2021 10:36

drive to school

poppycat10 · 19/03/2021 10:38

@TooOldandTired

I walk to the shops, drive a hybrid and my son gets a bus to 6th form college (and walked before that). And when I was working in an office I walked to the station and got on a train.

And the weather isn't always rubbish and if you walked more you'd be less fat and less tired.

DataColour · 19/03/2021 10:39

@TooOldandTired

Of course everybody does do selfish things. We can't live without being selfish and impacting others and the environment. But it is important to do what we CAN to reduce this impact and being lazy, fat, tired and bad weather is not a good enough excuse.

TooOldandTired · 19/03/2021 10:39

A parent's right to drive their gas guzzling status symbol car will always outweigh risks related to air pollution. It needs to become as socially unacceptable as drinking and driving.

🙄 Go and look at your own life and find all the selfish things you do and sort them out instead of worrying about other people.

Well1000 · 19/03/2021 10:40

Is this a Crazy idea? Moving to a new area. DS aged 5 new school will be 1.2miles. There is a 0.5mile walk to the tube. Then the school is at the next stop. Would this be too much for a 5yo ?

TooOldandTired · 19/03/2021 10:41

Datacolour
Who to hell are you to tell me what is and isn't a good excuse. You don't live my life you have no idea what goes on I. It. Give me a rundown of your day/week/life and I'm sure I can find plenty to criticise you about.

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 10:42

Go and look at your own life and find all the selfish things you do and sort them out instead of worrying about other people
Individualism at it's finest.

Let's all stop worrying about the environment, air pollution, the impact of climate change for generations, or anything else that requires collective actions. Let's all do whatever is easist for us and get grumpy if anyone points out the impact.

And no, before the inevitable "so you're all perfect" digs happen, nobody has to be perfect to join the discussion.

DataColour · 19/03/2021 10:43

@TooOldandTired

Datacolour Who to hell are you to tell me what is and isn't a good excuse. You don't live my life you have no idea what goes on I. It. Give me a rundown of your day/week/life and I'm sure I can find plenty to criticise you about.

You sound like one of those people who have an excuse for everything.

TooOldandTired · 19/03/2021 10:44

Data
Excuse for what? I don't need an excuse to drive me car, it's not illegal. You sounds like someone that sep DS their whole time judging people. I know who I would rather be.

B33Fr33 · 19/03/2021 10:45

I cycle or sometimes walk with my child to school. Probably for the best. I'm shocked that all my neighbours drive to the very same school. They have to leave before me and I generally get back home before them because getting a bike parked doesn't involve finding a space, I just leave it by the gate! That time includes locking up DS's bike and putting on or taking off helmet, high vis and gloves. Summer will be fabulously faster! They are working from home, which is probably how they're justifying they "need" to drive.

More people probably could walk or cycle but they're stuck on a cycle of thinking the roads are dangerous but never actually teaching their children road skills by walking or cycling! The roads will never be safe enough, even by secondary school, if you don't teach them from the start.

TooOldandTired · 19/03/2021 10:46

And no, before the inevitable "so you're all perfect" digs happen, nobody has to be perfect to join the discussion

Well then sort you own stuff out before you start criticising other people when you have no idea of their circumstances.

LindaEllen · 19/03/2021 10:46

Even if parents are still WFH, they need to get back home in time to start work, which might not be possible if they're walking home from school.

springtimesunshine · 19/03/2021 10:46

Not everyone can walk to school, though.

My child goes to a primary in a village 3 miles away. The only way to get there is down windy, unlit country lanes and there are zero footpaths, just road then ditch. There's no way we could walk, it'd be downright dangerous. I bet out of the 100 or so children that do there maybe only 20% max live in the village and can walk, as it's tiny.

Saying that, I am always conscious to park considerately, I park a 2-3 minute walk away and walk to the school rather than cramming in front of it on the village green, and lots of parent do leave cars idling. The HT sends letters every term asking people not to do that, and to park sensibly etc but there really isn't much else she can do!

BlingLoving · 19/03/2021 10:46

@LolaSmiles Totally. Our school has two paid-for parking lots less than 5 minutes walk away where we park. But the number of people who choose to block other people's driveways or the pavement so that the people who ARE walking to school struggle, never ceases to amaze me. There are a few free spaces quite near the school, including two disabled bays, and there's one woman who consistently parks in the disabled bay. Every single day. Drives the rest of us crazy. I know her a bit and i know she feels like the other parents don't like her and I do feel like screaming, "perhaps because you always park in the disabled bay!!" But I also know she'd have some justification so there's really no point.

Mumofsend · 19/03/2021 10:48

I drive my DC to school. My oldest is autistic so it is the safest option

2late2fixate · 19/03/2021 10:49

There's another thread running at the moment where a child walking 3 miles home from school is seen as a punishment. A punishment!!

I walked to school through the 90s and having an parent drive you would have been the most uncool thing ever. We'd have been mortified. That's primary and secondary. And parents would have been baffled if we'd asked to be driven- that's too much time taken out of their day for a pointless activity. Kids wanted to walk alone and meet friends along the way.

How quickly things have changed.

LolaSmiles · 19/03/2021 10:49

Well then sort you own stuff out before you start criticising other people when you have no idea of their circumstances
If people are parking irresponsible around schools, sitting with their engines running whilst they wait 20 minutes because they had to get there early to get the good spots, are blocking drives, parking on the zigzags, parking on double yellow lines, parking on the pavement, blocking access to driveways, then no, no I won't stop criticising.

The idea people need to be perfect before they discuss fairly relevant issues is a silly deflection technique from people who don't want to consider the impact of their actions.

Mrgrinch · 19/03/2021 10:52

If nothing else, this is extremely ableist.

Of you don't like traffic and fumes then why the hell are you living in a city?

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