Will the Doctor do anything about this? (ExH related)

[Ismychilddrinkingenough]

NC for this in case ExH/Ex-PILs are on here.

DD is 6, year 2. Has some additional needs but is at a mainstream school.

Chatting last week to her teacher and ExH was also there (zoom parents evening – its odd for him though usually he ignores school stuff). I mentioned I’d noticed DD bringing her water bottle home still 3/4s full and asked what DDs drinking at school.

Teacher says she’s never seen DD drink from the water bottle but she doesn’t appear dehydrated. Teacher said knowing DD as she does she’s probably a child who drinks in a routine i.e. she drinks when doing specific things rather than when she’s thirsty. Which makes sense to me, they offer milk or water with the school dinner (which DD loves) and she often says she’s had milk but can’t remember when, also DD is very routine focused, she thrives on a structure – she very rarely at home asks for a drink but that might be because everytime I have one I offer plus she gets one with meals etc without me even really thinking about it. Teacher has said she will remind all the children that they can have a drink when they want one but she can’t do more than that as there’s no specific concern about DD drinking.

ExH has decided that school are preventing her from drinking water and that he’s going to the GP to prove how harmful this is. He wants me to remind DD every morning to finish all her water and wants me to make her drink it at the end of the day if she’s not finished. He says if I don’t support him he will use it as evidence that DD is “unsafe” with me.

DD likes water, milk and of course squash and juice, no-ones ever mentioned it being a problem when I take her to appointments. She’s a healthy weight, below average height but that’s one of her conditions causing that. I asked her teacher about it to see if she’d noticed it but I am reassured that it’s just DD (I am also certain that had the teacher noticed it was an issue she’d have raised it with me before now!). She appears to drink more in the summer when it’s warmer but at a guess with milk at lunchtime, milk on her cereal and water with breakfast, tea and in her water bottle at school she drinks about the right amount.

She doesn’t appear to be thirsty or dehydrated but I only have DD so don’t really have any other children to compare to her.

To add context ExH only sees her for 1 night EOW usually but due to his own –excuses—circumstances he only has her EO Saturday for a few hours at the moment.

So what will the GP do? And will they be bothered about a child appearing to not drink much at school?

A GP will probably ask why the dc isn't with him I imagine...
He sounds nuts.

Let him get on with it - GP will be fine with everything you are doing, ExH will look like an idiot.

Of course not. Except possibly privately mutter about time wasters.

As long as your DD isn’t constipated, I think the GP will laugh him out.
That’s if you can get an appointment

Ha ha ha. He's off his head.

I like the fact he thinks you should be sorting all this out and if you don't it's you who's not acting in dds best interests. I'd tell him that he is welcome to deal with the issue and if he doesn't you will use it as proof he's a don't-give-a-shit-dad and you'll be reporting him to the very same authorities he has in mind.

Or just laugh and call him a twat?

The GP will add this to the staffroom competition for "who saw the biggest time wasting idiot this week"

I'm glad he's your XH. He is clearly a twat.

My 5 year old goes into school with a full bottle of water and comes home with a full bottle of water every day. I have tried bribing her but nothing works. She hates water. She'll drink the milk provided and has water before & after school. She also has juicy fruit in her packed lunch.

The school can only encourage your child but they can't force it. Tell your XH to stop being controlling.

@Birdslovesinging

I'm glad he's your XH. He is clearly a twat.

My 5 year old goes into school with a full bottle of water and comes home with a full bottle of water every day. I have tried bribing her but nothing works. She hates water. She'll drink the milk provided and has water before & after school. She also has juicy fruit in her packed lunch.

The school can only encourage your child but they can't force it. Tell your XH to stop being controlling.

Squash

What a pointless waste of time, he won't achieve anything.

I have to say I think you're also being unreasonable to raise it with the teacher, they are there to teach, not monitor fluid intake. When I was a child the only drink was water at lunchtime, it's a recent thing that people have become obsessed with drinking constantly. Most kids either chug too much and constantly disrupt lessons as they need the loo, drop the bottle, spill a bit, toss the bottle etc. It's a huge distraction from learning. I understand there are additional needs here but if she's hydrated on arrival and has milk then a drink at lunch time and you hydrate her after school then there isn't an issue. Your expressing concern has probably put it on the radar of you ex who is now using the fact you're concerned against you. If it wasn't water it would be something else. Don't over share infront of him.

So the guy who only has her for one night EOW wants to prove that you are unsafe so he can, what, have full custody?! What exactly is he trying to achieve other than showing himself to be a bit of a twat?

Thanks everyone, I suspect he wants to take me back to court for custody yes @britnay he talks about maintenance a lot and how it's really expensive and how I have a decent job (compared to him I do - I earn the same as him but he works fulltime and I work less than 25 hours a week).

This is an issue I have to contend with, as it leads to my lo having blood infections. Personally, I agree that the water bottle should be drank as well, otherwise that's a long time with only 200ml milk and what sounds like less than this in water, that's not a lot for 6 to 7 hours. Given they're supposed to drink 6 to 8 glasses of 250ml a day.
I don't think that a GP will do anything, but I would, not because of the ex, probably try to encourage her to drink more.

hahaha let him make a fool of himself!
if she was dehydrated her wee would be dark- is it?
the GP will laugh at him and so will the court if he gets that far. He probably won't because the threat of court is only a way to wind you up, he obviously doesn't really want to have your DD live with him, or he would be actually prioritising the contact he is supposed to have (which is unsettling for your DD but that's another story)
Just don't give it another thought.

Sounds mad. A drink at lunchtime plus whatever she wants at home will be fine.

GP will hopefully refer him for the treatment he clearly needs, manipulative psychopath that he is.

Neither you or the school are preventing your DD from drinking.
She has access to water and she chooses whether to drink or not.
By all means encourage her to drink more, but the idea that your Ex can claim she is unsafe with you because of this is bonkers.
You are not withholding fluids from her, just ignore him.
Oh, and what a waste of the gp’s time

The foods she eats contain water as well. Your ex sounds like a dick.

@BusyLizzie61

This is an issue I have to contend with, as it leads to my lo having blood infections. Personally, I agree that the water bottle should be drank as well, otherwise that's a long time with only 200ml milk and what sounds like less than this in water, that's not a lot for 6 to 7 hours. Given they're supposed to drink 6 to 8 glasses of 250ml a day. I don't think that a GP will do anything, but I would, not because of the ex, probably try to encourage her to drink more.

Breakfast she has a bowl of cereal with milk and a glass of milk (200ml)

Snacktime/playtime she probably has a few sips of either milk or water and always has an apple or a banana she won’t eat any other kind of fruit at that time

Lunchtime she has either water again or milk as well as a yogurt or fruit for pudding

Teatime/dinner she will have a cup of water.

I always offer before she goes to bed as well but she usually doesn’t take it.

@StillWeRise

hahaha let him make a fool of himself! if she was dehydrated her wee would be dark- is it? the GP will laugh at him and so will the court if he gets that far. He probably won't because the threat of court is only a way to wind you up, he obviously doesn't really want to have your DD live with him, or he would be actually prioritising the contact he is supposed to have (which is unsettling for your DD but that's another story) Just don't give it another thought.

She’s toilet trained but I still help her with wiping and it doesn’t look any darker and she’s going her usual amount (not less) from what I can tell.

I can't imagine he will contact the doctor but he won't get anywhere if he does. He's trying to undermine you and make you second guess at your parenting instincts, whilst being next to useless himself. I recognise this behaviour from my ex too.

At that age, should be drinking about a litre and a half (bit under, as some fluid can come from food, like the cereal). I know a lot of children don't drink that much at that age...but then, the reason I know lots of them don't is from the children I'm seeing with waterworks and bowel issues due to not drinking enough. Some children cope on less fluid, others don't. Though your GP is not going to do anything!

Apart from anything else I also think it was unreasonable to bring this up with the teacher. The teacher is there to teach, not to monitor your childs fluid intake in what a class of 30 children? This is one of the reasons I do not teach anymore.

ExH sounds like an idiot. Why do some people want to delegate EVERYTHING to teachers. Some people just don’t feel thirsty and lm one of them. I drink because others do and out of habit. It’s rare l feel proper thirst

@Ismychilddrinkingenough
Breakfast she has a bowl of cereal with milk and a glass of milk (200ml)
Snacktime/playtime she probably has a few sips of either milk or water and always has an apple or a banana she won’t eat any other kind of fruit at that time
Lunchtime she has either water again or milk as well as a yogurt or fruit for pudding
Teatime/dinner she will have a cup of water.
I always offer before she goes to bed as well but she usually doesn’t take it.
That is significantly under, so I would be encouraging her to have more fluid.
Given that by the time we WANT a drink out body is already feeling the start of dehydration, it could well be that she's used to not drinking enough so not recognising she needs more fluid.
Or, more like my lo, "doesn't have time" to drink as wants to be playing etc.

Re teschers and as an ex teacher, I am fully aware that some teachers restrict intake as wish to reduce toilet usage in lessons. This is slightly better in KS1 where many have toilets in classrooms still but if good habits aren't instilled by y2, when they move to ks2 y3, then more issues suddenly become apparent.