Actually, i need to know if dh is being unreasonable, to be furious with me, because...

[noonar]

i spoke to my dear friend on the phone for half an hour, leaving him to put dd2 to bed and fix a snack before going to a PTA meeting.

now, this friend found out 2 weeks ago that she is 28 weeks pregnant. her world has been turned upside down. she's in her 40s and assumed she'd never have children. she's actually v happy, but has been overwhelmed by calls from well wishers so has not wanted to talk about it till now.

she rang me tonight, just before dd2 was due to go to bed. i had put dd1 to bed already, as she's poorly. now of course, 7pm is rarely a good time for phone calls, but i just couldnt bring myself to tell her to call back. i was so glad to hear from her and wanted to be there for her.

instead of fixing himself a snack, dh seemed to think that he couldnt think about food till i came off the phone. i stopped speaking to my friend 15 mins before he had to leave. he was livid, saying that i'd left him to do all the chores and that he'd had no food.

i realized that speaking to my friend would have a knock on affect on my own evening as i'd be doing the chores later, but didnt think for a minute that dh would 'martyr himself' by tidying up etc downstairs instead of fixing a snack.

i accept that he has reason to feel a bit annoyed, but does have the right to furious, in the circumstances? i'd never dream of chatting away normally, at this time of the evening, before the chore were done.

he said that i'd have reacted just the same. but the person he was talking to was in 'crisis' i think i'd be more understanding.

[notnowbernard]

Was he expecting you to get him a snack?

[charliecat]

Er, hes being unreasonable. He could have made something to eat...BUT would you then have moaned that he hadnt done the chores?

[MissInvisible]

bloke strop, my do is exactly the same, tell him to grow up

[pukkapatch]

he is being unreasonable

[margoandjerry]

don't understand. Do you keep the kitchen under lock and key?

[HairyIrene]

he couldnt even make himself a sarnie...?
sorry yanbu
he's bit pathetic imo..

[littleolwinedrinkerme]

Hmmmmmm....arse springs to mind . Maybe jealous that you didn't 'focus' on him in his hour ('ish) of need? Sounds like he needs a mother and not a wife - and well done for taking time out for your friend!

[orangehead]

Tell him to grow up, he being unreasonable

[noonar]

ok, i was genuinely expecting to do the chore myself. i was tired and hungry too, but wanted to speak to X more than i wanted to eat, ifswim.

he'd got pasta and sauce (jar) and salad ingredients ready on work top, but i failed to emerge from our room in time to cook and eat pasta before the meeting.

i've had a really long day teaching, and i dont want my whole evening to be dictated by dh's meeting. i personally feel that being ready to go out ,having put the dds to bed and eaten a poper supper, all by 7.45pm is a bit of a tall order. if his schedule is that tight, he needs to make a snack, rather than introduce a timetable to our evening.

i know that he thinks i've made his evening more difficult. i can see that, but in the circumstances, what could i do?

[fawkeoff]

so he is havin a shit fit because he wanted you to make him summat to eat????? he is acting like a child imo

[noonar]

'proper supper' lol.

sorry, shouldve said, tahnks for the support, folks. xxx

just texted him telling him he's nuts. he said i'd be just the same if roles were reversed...yes, i would, if he was idling chatting away. not if friend was in need.

he was so angry. he made me cry he's usually really nice and not shouty. thats why i'm so shocked and wondering if its him or me thats being unreasonable.

[notnowbernard]

I would have expected him to put dd to bed.

And I would have expected him to either start cooking the meal, or make himself a snack before leaving for the meeting.

I wouldn't expect him to get in a strop about it. In fact I don't think it should have even warrated a mention from him, tbh.

[colditz]

Tell him to go and check if he has any pubes yes, the pathetic manchild. Why can he not prioritise his tasks effectively? I bet he manages at work!

[controlfreaky2]

definitely tell him to get over himself. ffs.

[fawkeoff]

im sorry but that is just not the point....you didnt actually ask him to do anything, he could have easily boiled a bit of pasta and stirred the sauce in himself, it is not rocket science.heis being unreasonable and needs to stop spitting his dummy out

[colditz]

You are NOT his slave, maid or nanny. It is NOT your job to ensure he looks after himself effectivly, and you should remind him of this.

And a bit of "How very DARE you speak to me like that!" would not go amiss either.

[morningpaper]

unbelievable behaviour

poor you

[oliveoil]

nobboid

tell him to get a grip

[fawkeoff]

stick the pasta up his anus

[stripeytiger]

He is being bloody unreasonable imo. He should be glad that he has such a lovely wife who is there for her friend even when it's bedtime routine etc. Was it really such a hardship for him to put dd to bed.

[noonar]

he's actually tidied up beautifully, and clearly decided that the food bit was down to me. his conclusion then, was that i'd left it all to him . i didnt know he was tidying up and making packed lunches....i thought he'd be fixing a snack. he's now stormed off to the chip shop.

[oliveoil]

text him and tell him to get you a sausage

[kindersurprise]

Don't get too upset, he is being totally unreasonable. Tell him not to behave like a teenager.

Well done for taking the time to speak to your friend.

[controlfreaky2]

quick! change the locks!
(only joking).