How to handle this at work

[Mintsmints]

Aibu for not going into

Basically on Monday I was rushed into hospital and it turns out I have had a mini stroke. I was meant to be in work an hour later so my husband rang and told my boss what had happened and got shouted at down the phone that I had not given 24 hours notice and it’s just not acceptable and what was she supposed to do now. Didn’t even ask how I was or say I hope she will be ok.
Basicly I work as a carer for a 31 year old girl with disabilities. I work three night shifts in her own home. We are employed by the family. Me not going in meant the lady’s sister (the boss in question) who lives with her would have had to stay up and look after her. We are meant to have two on the shift but the other lady I work with is off on long term sick so I have been doing them on my own. There is no bank staff.

She had not contacted me since to see if I am ok since and i know I will be in for it when I get back. They have this 24 hour notice rule for being ill. I am just not sure how to handle this. Another colleague has said maybe I should have gone into work first to show her my dropping face and arm. So should I have gone in first

Can't you go on gov.uk and post them the law around being sick and their requirements to adhere to the rules around any employees?

There isn't much you can do about them not phoning to see how you are, some people hate being phoned if they are off sick so as an employer you can't win. But keep them informed so you can't be accused of not keeping in touch. Email is probably best as it has an audit trail.

I hope you're doing better today @Mintsmints.
Can I ask how long you've been working by yourself covering the shifts of looking after your charge (the sister of the person who appears to be throwing a hissy fit about you not showing up because you were having a stroke)? If you've been caring for this person singlehandedly, that could have been adding to your stress levels and is not a good position to leave yourself in (in case there are any accusations made against you at any point by anyone else) as you will not have any body else to vouch for you or how you did X, Y or Z in a situation.
You need to find another job and explain to whomever it needs to be spelled out to, that you were unable to foresee a stroke happening and you are supposed to have another person working with you at all times and you're not happy with how you've been treated so you're leaving.

24 hrs is standard notice for care. I have no idea how you are supposed to give 24 hrs notice you are ill though.

Whilst 24 hours is care industry standard this doesn't apply here. You couldn't have known. I have worked a long time in social care and believe me I completely understand the up the creek feeling if someone is ill short notice. However there wasn't anything you could do and people get ill. Even with a private contract its ridiculous that they don't at least have awareness of emergency support, especially if they are already one down.

This is not on you. At all. Your colleagues sound like the ubiquitous rescuers who lose sight that this a is paid role. I ran domiciliary care services and believe me I would have metaphorically handed anyones backside to them for suggesting someone attend to show a client those physical aspects.

Seriously OP find another job.

Also I have had a stroke when I was 38 and it is totally terrifying. I have some idea of your experience. Please don't stress about worl as you are vulnerable after a stroke to another one. Take care of yourself first and foremost.

The only jobs I have seen regularly advertised during covid have been caring roles. With the experience you have hand your notice in and don’t look back.

Wishing you a speedy recovery

Are you a PA? Surely there must be lots of PA jobs near you where the family aren't complete areseholes.
I hope you're feeling better soon!

@Mintsmints

No it’s only my second post. I am a long time lurker but I came on to get some advice . I was a member years and years ago but never posted anything like this

OP is this the same employer that your husband said you should immediately quit at, due to your stroke and posters advised you not to as you would lose access to ssp etc. I agree with then by the way, ssp isn't a lot but it's more than zero and stroke recovery can be many months.

The employer sounds dreadful. Are any of these conversations in writing regarding giving 24 hours notice etc and the abuse you've had from your employer. How long have you worked there.
May be worth a call to acas when you are feeling up to it as the way they are behaving is appalling.
Wishing you a speedy recovery x