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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not understand how a fully grown adult..

477 replies

LifesLittleDeciders · 18/03/2021 09:23

Doesn’t like any vegetables at all?
I was just watching a video about a man who wanted to find recipes he could eat that don’t contain vegetables as he doesn’t like any veg.

I mean come on.. there’s as many flavours in different vegetables as there are colours in the world.. yet he would proclaim to ‘hate all colours’

I just don’t get it. Kids I sort of understand; especially when they descend from fussy parents. But I just think ‘grow up’ when I read about adults not touching vegetables. I’m not talking about “I don’t like broccoli or carrots” - won’t eat vegetables at all.

And the “salad? Do I look like a rabbit?” Slur that comes from people

Who won’t eat anything remotely green or healthy, that saying really boils my piss. Just say no thank you?!

I know IABU as it’s none of my business but it just made me roll my eyes and would be interested to hear others opinions on it.

OP posts:

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/03/2021 12:16

As a wide generalisation though I would probably say those that make a point publicly and loudly about how they hate certain foods/can't possibly eat that, ewwwwww etc etc are fussy and make a performance out of it. The ones who quietly get on with it, without drawing attention to themselves are the ones that can't help it, probably despise being that way and just want to get on and eat what they can without a fuss from anyone

Agree with that!

RampantIvy · 21/03/2021 12:16

But I don’t stand for someone turning their nose up at a meal I’ve spent time cooking and serving and demanding something else, I’m not a chef.

My mum used to say "I'm not a hotel, you eat what you are given or go without". Looking back, I was just fussy. By the time I was about 9 years old I found my appetite. DD was fussy as a child, but with gentle persuasion, plus being indoctrinated by me watching loads of cookery shows on TV, and involving her in helping me cook, she eats most things, except for meat and fish as she is vegetarian. She is also a fantastic cook, and always bakes for friends' birthdays.

Likeandsubscribe · 21/03/2021 12:19

I think quite a few adults who don't like vegetables never had them prepared properly for them. So they were either over-cooked or tasteless. Not everyone by all means but many adults if they are prepared to try properly composed and dressed salads, and vegetables that have been cooked with care, are usually surprised that they enjoy eating them.

Quite a few friends of mine who went to boarding school fall in to this category!

RampantIvy · 21/03/2021 12:26

Not everyone by all means but many adults if they are prepared to try properly composed and dressed salads, and vegetables that have been cooked with care, are usually surprised that they enjoy eating them.

I would agree with this. I think this helped DD overcome her fussiness - which in her case was just fussiness, not any kind of food issues.

snowone · 21/03/2021 12:32

My husband doesn't really like veg. He will eat carrots on a Sunday lunch and things like onions / peppers if they are in sauces. He also won't eat fruit.

It's a pain in the arse and definitely rubs off on the children although they will eat slightly more than he does and they do eat some fruit.

RampantIvy · 21/03/2021 12:39

When DD was 17 she had some friends rounds for tea, and I made spaghetti bolognese. DD and one of her friends just about inhaled their meals. The other girl just moved her food around. I asked her if there was a problem and she said she didn't like onions.

I had asked before even cooking if there was anything I should avoid, and she had said nothing. It turns out that she had never had spaghetti bolognese before so didn't know there were onions in it.

The next time she was at our house I did pasta with tomato sauce. This time I made it in the usual way with onions, garlic and tinned tomatoes, then blended it. She loved it.

tuliprosedaffodil · 21/03/2021 12:47

@RampantIvy

Thank you *@EssexLioness and @tuliprosedaffodil*.

However, I am curious about people with eating issues who then decide to further restrict their diet for other reasons - ethical/moral/religious/other. This must be pretty detrimental to their health.

Well I have no idea about further restricting a diet for other reasons it must be extremely difficult... I have enough difficulties eating in a standard way without considering vegetarianism or veganism etc

Whatever my ethical standpoint neither of those would be possible for me at all.

I'm not sure what the opposite of vegetarian would be... a meat-atarian? That's me. I jest, obviously before anyone shouts at me.

Ddot · 21/03/2021 13:03

My fella will not eat fruit, sorry he will have two bites of a banana. I dont get it but I suppose listening to some on here I'm lucky cos he loves his vegetables. He does like meat but I dont so only cook on special occasions

tuliprosedaffodil · 21/03/2021 13:42

@RampantIvy

I had asked before even cooking if there was anything I should avoid, and she had said nothing. It turns out that she had never had spaghetti bolognese before so didn't know there were onions in it.

The next time she was at our house I did pasta with tomato sauce. This time I made it in the usual way with onions, garlic and tinned tomatoes, then blended it. She loved it.

You could be writing about me there.

Even if she didn't know about the onions I'm willing to bet she'd have been too embarrassed to say anything at the time. Us 'fussy' people are so used to being thought of as just giant pains in the arse and in the teenage years when everything is a potential embarrassment I know I would have kept quiet and gone hungry.

Blended though? Absolutely lovely. That was really considerate of you.

EssexLioness · 21/03/2021 13:46

@RampantIvy you’re welcome. I have also been vegan for 8 years due to ethical reasons so one of the people who you are curious about. Does not affect my health at all as instead of dairy/ meat I eat more nuts, pulses and have learned to like tofu, as well as vegan milks, all of which are much healthier for me. If anything my diet had improved as I now eat a wider variety of veg etc more frequently. Before that I was veggie for 22 years and personally I found that I ate more rubbish then as I ate a lot of cheese and very little veg etc. So meals would be pizza, lasagne, cheesy pasta, baked potato, pasta bake, cheese on toast... you get the idea. Whereas now I will have stir fries, stews etc. But I did make the effort to broaden my horizons so I realise this wouldn’t always be the case for everyone. However, regardless of my health/ eating habits, my ethical views would not change and if I had become ill by limiting my diet then I would still be vegan, just a more unhealthy one.

RampantIvy · 21/03/2021 13:47

I wasn't trying to outsmart her. I knew it wasn't an allergy, just a texture thing. Having made smooth tomato sauces for pasta for many years I know that a slowly cooked onion in olive oil before adding the tomatoes makes for a sweeter and tastier sauce.

EssexLioness · 21/03/2021 13:50

Oh an I agree with PP. I would never make a fuss about refusing a meal or commenting on it. I do not mention my food preferences to people except DH and a couple of close friends who know I can be a bit ‘picky’. I have a list of discrete, polite excuses for why I’m not eating or not hungry that day, but I rarely use them. Instead I try to avoid these situations or just don’t draw attention to my eating habits. Anything else is rude and disrespectful imo

nestlestealswater · 21/03/2021 14:18

@RampantIvy

Thank you *@EssexLioness and @tuliprosedaffodil*.

That's me! Being vegan has actually made me less fussy because you need to be more conscious about what you're eating to get everything you need. So it added some gentle pressure to expand my repertoire.

Twobirdsinatree · 21/03/2021 14:24

I understand some people are autistic or have an eating disorder or psychological problems that cause food aversion..
But yes I agree that if its just an average run of the mill adult who's decided they won't eat any veg at all I do think its ridiculous.
I mean as an adult ill regularly eat things I dont like to be polite... if someone else has cooked for you at a dinner party say.. unless your allergic to it or its against your religious or ethical beliefs (in which case you should have made that clear to begin with really) then you ought to try and eat it.

I dont stand for it in my kids at all. I dont force them to eat anything but I would never in a million years cook them separate food to everyone else.

RampantIvy · 21/03/2021 14:28

If we invite people round for dinner or have guests staying I always make a point of not serving anything they wouldn't like. I enjoy cooking, and I enjoy a challenge.

I imagine that people with serious food issues wouldn't accept an invitation to dinner anyway.

FoxyTheFox · 21/03/2021 14:34

If we get invited somewhere to eat then it's generally someone who is aware of DS food issues and they will either ask me in advance what he would like or I'll offer to bring his food with me.

When I invite people around for food then I'll say what I'm planning on making and check it's okay along with the option to let me know if it's not and I can plan a different meal, my friends/family all tend to do the same and there's no offence taken if someone says they don't like that. I'd much rather serve a meal people will enjoy than one that they won't.

tuliprosedaffodil · 21/03/2021 14:37

@RampantIvy

If we invite people round for dinner or have guests staying I always make a point of not serving anything they wouldn't like. I enjoy cooking, and I enjoy a challenge.

I imagine that people with serious food issues wouldn't accept an invitation to dinner anyway.

You're quite right. I don't accept invitations to dinner unless I 1) know the person very well like close family who know what I can and can't eat and don't even comment on it these days 2) it's a buffet or bbq sort of meal and I can choose for myself without upsetting or offending anyone or 3) it's going to be a takeaway where again I can choose dishes for myself. I am a bit of a Smithy with takeaways - I like to order my own food and not share because I don't eat most of what anyone else is having! None of this put it in the middle and dip in stuff

I wouldn't accept just an invitation where someone is going to cook an unknown 3 course meal for me. The likelihood is I wouldn't eat probably 50% of it. I'd rather skip dinner, eat at home and just go for drinks etc.

tuliprosedaffodil · 21/03/2021 14:39

@Twobirdsinatree

I understand some people are autistic or have an eating disorder or psychological problems that cause food aversion.. But yes I agree that if its just an average run of the mill adult who's decided they won't eat any veg at all I do think its ridiculous. I mean as an adult ill regularly eat things I dont like to be polite... if someone else has cooked for you at a dinner party say.. unless your allergic to it or its against your religious or ethical beliefs (in which case you should have made that clear to begin with really) then you ought to try and eat it.

I dont stand for it in my kids at all. I dont force them to eat anything but I would never in a million years cook them separate food to everyone else.

You say you don't stand for it. I promise you, if your children couldn't eat what you served, you would stand for it and you would give them something else, eventually. Because what's the alternative? They just don't eat?

Lucky for you your children can eat what you give them! It is luck, not skill or perseverance or good parenting. It's luck.

Twobirdsinatree · 21/03/2021 15:02

@tuliprosedaffodil
Its not just luck at all.
Of course its part of it.. some children do have very real food issues because they have sensory issues etc..
But also I do see some parents I know immediately making different food if their child will not eat the food presented to them at first.. I've even known women while done this for their husbands.. fully grown adult men.. not because of allergies but just because they said they didn't like it.

So whilst I do have compassion for those women and think they are kind I do also think they are making a rod for their own back in lots of cases..
Like another poster said it isnt a hotel or a restaurant

fishonabicycle · 21/03/2021 18:47

Apparently British toddlers are the fussiest in Europe, and reading this thread it appears that British adults are too.

Popcornbetty · 21/03/2021 19:18

'Apparently British toddlers are the fussiest in Europe, and reading this thread it appears that British adults are too.'

Oh fab an unfounded sweeping generalisation to add to this thread

SchrodingersImmigrant · 21/03/2021 19:20

@Popcornbetty

'Apparently British toddlers are the fussiest in Europe, and reading this thread it appears that British adults are too.'

Oh fab an unfounded sweeping generalisation to add to this thread

Actually if you google it... It's was in news

Overcastcloudy · 21/03/2021 19:46

I read that about British toddlers as well.

Popcornbetty · 21/03/2021 19:47

@schrodingersImmigrant yes toddlers but the poster said adults too?

riceuten · 21/03/2021 19:48

Strangely enough, it was only when I left home and cooked for myself that I realised how tasty and nutritious greens could be (and how expensive take away food and meat in general was).

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