Exaggerate sneezing

[ValerieMorghulis]

This - along with other “performative man noises” such as jangling of change in pockets whilst waiting for the kettle to boil - is why I need my husband to go back to working in his office.

AIBU?

@Trinacham

Going against the grain here and saying YABU. I think I'm a loud sneezer myself but it's not something I can control. Things like yawning, I get, as that is more controlled. With me usually the louder and more forceful they are, the more satisfying they are

Totally agree, horrible thread but says more about the OP than anything else, A nobody can help how load they sneeze b. its actually really dangerous to try and hold back a sneeze, you can do all sorts of damage www.healthline.com/health/holding-in-a-sneeze#:~:text=Damaged%20blood%20vessels%20in%20the,passages%20to%20squeeze%20and%20burst. a friend burst a blood vessel in her eye try holding back a sneeze. It forces the power of the sneeze back into the head and body

I have a loud sneeze and I get so pissed off at all these people who sneeze like kittens claiming that it’s all for show.

Performance yawning and other unnecessary noises can get in the sea though.

YANBU. There is a special place in hell reserved for performance sneezers.

I’m quite quiet on the whole but when I sneeze, especially due to hay fever, I sneeze really loudly. Obviously if I was somewhere public I could lower the volume but the default is LOUD. It is just the natural setting for getting it out.

Drives DS MAD!

On many other noises I’m exceptionally sensitive though.

Personally, I'm not talking about people who just have a loud sneeze. My dad's sneezing involves making different vowel sounds "AAAH - EEEH - IIIIIH - UHHHH" He's very definitely doing it for effect!

@Reallybadidea

Personally, I'm not talking about people who just have a loud sneeze. My dad's sneezing involves making different vowel sounds "AAAH - EEEH - IIIIIH - UHHHH" He's very definitely doing it for effect!

Exactly. My DH is perfectly capable of sneezing normally. He chooses not to.

This thread has reminded me of yet another thing about my ex that I hated, his performance yawning. He would start a yawn then close and open his mouth as he did it, saying 'ai - o -ai -o'. It really annoyed me. Then, one day, I witnessed his sister doing it, so it must have been a family taught thing.
can I just say yet again on MN, it's lovely since I got divorced :)

@SallyOMalley

My dh has developed a clicking jaw when he eats. His bowl of shredded wheat was nearly tipped over his head this morning .

He has a study upstairs and I have a corner in the kitchen. My office, if you will. So why does he choose to unstack the dishwasher when I'm on a zoom call, even if its 'only' with my team?

Mine breathes heavily whilst eating. Every mouthful of food, he inhales loudly first, then huffs and snorts his way through every chomp. All whilst smacking his lips and tongue, 'slurp mmm slurp smack heavy breathing slurp chomp huff huff mmmm' throughout. Three meals a day, plus snacks. He's a knob, he knows he does it and just doesn't care.

My mother would eat with her mouth open. I would eat my meal as quickly as possible and then hide in the kitchen “tidying up”.

My DM does this and I can't stand loud high pitched sneezing as a result. Makes me shudder

My husband does this too, as well as blowing his nose like a foghorn.

@ValerieMorghulis

This - along with other “performative man noises” such as jangling of change in pockets whilst waiting for the kettle to boil - is why I need my husband to go back to working in his office.

AIBU?

Dad does it. I could kill him for it.

Mine does enormous "Waaah SHOOO!" sneezes, but, worse, then looks all surprised and says "Ooh! What was that? Where did that come from?".
It's a bloody sneeze! Presumably he's done them all his life and - what makes it worse - he was a doctor!
Was he away they day they did "Sneezes"?

On the other end of the scale, he does these pathetic little coughs that won't even begin to clear his throat.
The cough chorus starts in the morning and there's a couple of hours of "Hem hem" "ahem" "splutter" instead of just putting a bit of effort into actually shifting a bit of phlegm or (more often) the mouthful of coffee he chokes on every bloody morning.

Oh god my typo 🤦🏻‍♀️😂 although to be fair , it's stressful enough to make me shoot myself 😂😂 maybe that's the answer !

My father does this, at one point both my brother and I worked in the same large supermarket. I was on a counter and he was filling shelves in the aisle in front of me and suddenly a massive sneeze was heard across the store - we made eye contact and my brother counted down three-two-one and ducked just as my father did his second sneeze from miles away. Because all the men who do just one performative sneeze have nothing on my double-sneezer dad.

Yes! Also burps, it is possible to burp quietly but DH seems to open his mouth in such a way that it amplifies the sound. Thankfully not very often. Plus apple eating, taking enormous bites that I can hear at the other end of the house! Ahh.

DH will do up to 12 performance sneezes in a row. He says he can’t help it but, if on occasion we are somewhere quiet, like at the cinema, he can suppress them. Luckily he is otherwise perfect.

Yes it’s very annoying.

I agree not just men, as my mother is prone to this kind of thing! Tbf my father can be too. I come from an annoying family it seems!

I am sure it is something that they CAN control. If an "I can't help it" noisy sneezer was hiding behind a tree from a prowling lion, and they felt a sneeze coming on, you're not telling me they wouldn't suddenly find a way muffle it. They could certainly relent from the performative shout which has nothing to do with the sneeze mechanism itself so is definitely put on.

Fairly certain that not just men sneeze op

Yadnbu. This annoys me so much! DH is so loud sneezing he would wake dc when they were babies. Why do they need to be so loud???

Yes they can help it because I am that sneezer.

I can now make the glasses ring in the cupboards and others in the house jump out of their skin, I put up with exaggerated yawns so you can have some of this.
Of course in public it is a different matter.
Try it, it's really satisfying. I'm hoping to get to 10 sneezes to get the big O, but I've only ever got to 8.

My husband always sounds like he's won the lottery when he sneezes. WHAAAHOOOO! Grrrr.

I have a theory that the people who claim they can't sneeze without making it an oscar-worthy performance are also the same people who think you cant have a decent shag unless you scream the roof off. My only evidence for this is my neighbour, I'm not sure what award he's going for but I think he's over shot.

It isn’t possible to control a sneeze - believe me, I’ve tried. Hay fever induces such violent sneezes in me, they give me a headache (and anyone else in my vicinity, too).
I can stop a sneeze from a cold, but not a Hay fever one...