My best friend is refusing the jab & trying to convince me to refuse it too.

[Kellogschocrolls]

I feel a bit put-upon by my best friend who is intelligent & very educated & who is refusing to have the jab. She's putting pressure on me to refuse it too, telling me I don't know what I'm poisoning my system with & the true side effects won't be known for years. I don't have the knowledge to argue back I'm just bloody glad to get my dose when the time comes. I feel like I'm being made to feel a naïve fool. Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable. I want to have confidence in this not feel like I'm signing my own death warrant.

@Kellogschocrolls

Your friend doesn't sound very intelligent and well-educated.

This isn't aimed directly at you, but I do get everso pissed off with this attitude that if a person has been to university (especially a posho one, ) that they are super clever and uber knowledgeable, and will know more than us plebs who only went to a basic comprehensive school!

Some of the dimmest people I know are 'well-educated' with a university degree, and some of the cleverest, smartest, most intelligent people I know haven't got a GCSE to their name.

I'm not saying all post grads are thick and all people with little or no formal education are clever, but it doesn't follow that someone who is 'well-educated' knows fucking everything!

P.S. @Kellogschocrolls HAVE THE VACCINE!

As the poster said just before me, just send her a polite but firm message saying you appreciate her concern, but you're getting the vaccine, and you no longer wish to discuss it.

I agree that I couldn't be best friends with an anti-vaxxer. Tell her to stop talking about it or just stop talking to her altogether.

I wouldn't be friends with her, tbh. But every time she brings it up just tell her she's made her point. If she won't drop it after that - after realising her closest friend is finding her attitude really annoying - then she's too far gone down the rabbit hole and I'd just swerve her for a bit.

I think anyone that intelligent would understand the difference between fact and opinion and also understand that differences of opinion are a part of life that should be managed respectfully as well as understanding that persuading others of her opinion is neither tactful nor necessary.

You don't need to find 'intelligent' rationale to throw back at her OP, you just need to politely state that you won't be discussing your vaccine choice with her, respect her autonomy re: her own body and choices and would like the same courtesy in return and then move on. Sounding intelligent or being an echo chamber for opinions obtained elsewhere isn't always the same as actually being intelligent. Don't feel intimidated in that respect.

I wouldn't fall out with/break friends with someone who was an anti vaxxer, but I WOULD fall out with someone who is relentlessly nagging and moaning at me, and saying I am stupid/badly educated/thick etc, because I chose to have the vaccine.

I know I rant on like a bitch on HERE about how I think everyone should have the vaccine, and you're foolish not to, but I would never say the same things to anyone I know. I would say 'are you sure about that, because you could put yourself at risk, and also end up not being able to do much, as many places are not allowing people in with no vaccine.' But I wouldn't call them thick, or imply that I am more intelligent because I have had it.

Falling out with someone because they have a different opinion to you is pretty daft. It's like a thread on here yesterday, where the OP was saying she can't be friends with someone any longer, because she discovered that they like Piers Morgan!

I have ALSO just had someone (who is very pro-EU,) unfollow me on twitter, because I posted a negative tweet about the EU. She had been following me for about 4 or 5 years, and unfollowed me 5 minutes after I posted my tweet. So it has to have been that. I have been looking at her toxic tweets about Brexit supporters for about 2 years, how thick and racist we all (allegedly) are, and how we have 'destroyed her life.' But I just scrolled by and ignored them, as I just put it down to her being angry and bitter.

But I post ONE negative thing about the EU, and she unfollows me.

Silly cow. Can't stand ANYone having a view that she doesn't agree with. Pathetic. Just wants to live in a leftie echo chamber where everyone says things she wants to hear.

I have had the vaccine.

My friend also thinks similar to your friend.

To be fair they may have a point. There is such a thing as vaccine damage and nothing is without risk.

My response is I guess I am more afraid of COVID than the vaccine.

I love my friend and am extremely concerned that she isn't having the vaccine. But I would never fall out with her because she is choosing not to. I don't agree with her reasons and I have tried to change her mind to no avail.

She told me she doesn't want to discuss it further so we don't.

If she tried to tell me not to have it because she isn't I would just say it's not up for discussion and leave it at that.

@Timbucktime nope she is wrong (and I assume you have the same opinion as her). The vaccines are based on flu vaccines which have been used for years. There are no new constituents.

What do you think will happen in a few years time? Your immune system has a window to produce immunoglobin.

The thing about intelligent people is that it doesn't necessarily make their instinctive, kneejerk responses, decisions and opinions any better, but it does mean they're better at post-rationalisation and coming up with good arguments for their position.

@HarryElephante totally agree.

Someone having reservations also doesn’t make them an anti vaxer either!

The odds on getting ill or dead from covid appear to be much, much higher than those of getting ill or dead from the vaccine. So I chose to have the vaccine.

Your friend can choose. So can you. I admire your tolerance because if she is going on as you say, the words 'dont be a dumbo conspiracy type' would have been hard to avoid.

@toconclude

I'm also intelligent and (very) well educated and happily had my jab today. Difference is, I used both to do proper assessment of risk vs reward. Your friend is wrong. She may do as she likes but she has no right whatever to try to try to pressure you into making the same decision, especially one unsupported by any credible evidence.

You have no idea whether her friend has down a risk v reward assessment. While you have no idea of her personal circumstances which would very much dictate the risk assessment.

Don't always assume you are right. It's a terrible trait. No matter how intelligent and (very) well educated you are.

[quote underneaththeash]@Timbucktime nope she is wrong (and I assume you have the same opinion as her). The vaccines are based on flu vaccines which have been used for years. There are no new constituents.

What do you think will happen in a few years time? Your immune system has a window to produce immunoglobin.[/quote]
Who exactly are you to think that you have the right to assume anything about me? You don’t so please refrain from your assumptions.

I am really concerned about people who seem to confuse the vaccine with a magic potion, bringing an end to the problem once and for all.

Have it, don't have it, there was never such a agreement over the flu jabs either, and there are a lot of things we don't know.

That said, even the government was warning about a 3rd wave and about being too complacent, but people seem to run with the miraculous jab and lose all common sense. It's not healthy. Should we really need to go back on lockdown again (we are not even out of this one) the shock will hurt. And picturing the jab as a miracle is dangerous.

@dizzydizzydizzy

My friend is much the same. I'm having my vaccine tomorrow. She is now messaging me horror stories about people she knows who have been horribly ill as a result of the vaccine. Strangely, everyone I know hasn't had anything worse than a day of shivers and fever. Most have been completely fine.

I feel your pain OP. It is extremely annoying.

Had mine this morning...not even a sniff of a headache 🤣 Even my arm is refusing to feel a twinge! I'm actually a bit disappointed that I can't join in with everyone else's lists of 'jab effects' 🤣

@Crazycatlady83

Just tell her you refused it but have it anyway? No need to tell her your medical decisions and you don’t have to advertise it to her that you have had it (it’s none of her business!)

Don't be ridiculous!

Has the OP come back?

Sigh. I keep falling for these threads. There sure are a lot MNetters with "friends" who are trying to talk them out of having the vaccine. Either that or it's the latest anti-vaxxer script.

@SoupDragon

Has the OP come back?

Nope. Colour me shocked!

I have a friend who is usually intelligent but is also being a conspiracy theorist about the vaccine. We aren't that close so I can just not engage for a bit. Her husband is a doctor so she thinks she is an expert. I work with several doctors and they're all having the vaccine....

It's neither here nor there whether she is intelligent or educated...it's her choice. As is your decision to get it. I know several doctors and nurses who have opted to not get it yet....it's got nothing to do with intelligence.

You can be educated and still be thick as two short planks.

What's her PhD in? If it's not biology or medicine, you can safely disregard her opinion.

Ignore her. Don't take any notice if you want to have it. Crucially, don't tell her you've had it! Why does she need to know? I have a friend like this. I have had the first jab. I've just not told her or anyone else apart from close family. I don't have to discuss my medical history in public. The other reason I've not said much is I'm a bit younger than most people getting it at the moment and I didn't want to be 'vaccine shamed' for jumping the queue. I did get an invitation, it's because of a condition I've got. But I don't want to discuss that with all and sundry, so I don't.

@TheGoogleMum

I have a friend who is usually intelligent but is also being a conspiracy theorist about the vaccine. We aren't that close so I can just not engage for a bit. Her husband is a doctor so she thinks she is an expert. I work with several doctors and they're all having the vaccine....

'Also a conspiracy theorist'...? So people who have reservations about the vaccine are conspiracy theorists now are they? According to the OP, the friend said she doesn't know if there will be any long term effects. How is that alluding to a conspiracy?

According to the OP, the friend said she doesn't know if there will be any long term effects.

She supposedly told the OP "I don't know what I'm poisoning my system with"