To think 'my truth' or 'your truth' doesn't mean THE truth?

[FridayNightAtTheBronze]

I've seen this phrase used so much recently, and it really irritates me for some reason!

People saying 'This is my truth.'

Surely they just mean 'This is my side of the story'.

Or

'This is my version of events'.

AIBU to think that 'my truth' shouldn't be conflated with telling THE truth? And to be irrationally irritated when I hear it?!

I believe it is a phrase historically used in African American communities when discussing oppression and racism.

I primarily heard it growing up in movies or literature pertaining to the AA experience. Usually used by women, I think (just my own perception.)

Also my perception/understanding: No one in power asked about the post-slavery, pre-civil rights African American experience or really wanted to hear it. Even “nice” while people ignored it and turned a blind eye. So one would have to come out with it, speak it and make oneself heard.

I've heard the phrase
There is no truth only interpretation.

@Tretchikoff

I've heard the phrase There is no truth only interpretation.

Imagine a world where there were no verifiable facts accepted as such, just millions of different "interpretations". No thanks.

It generally means "Don't question what I am saying" but with overtones of righteousness
This.
What they actually mean is they want to give their opinion or perspective, whilst also expecting nobody to criticise or challenge because that would be invalidating 'their truth'.

What bothers me is that when the Trump team spoke about 'alternative facts', many people rightly said it's another way of lying/selectively spinning information in a favourable way, and yet if people say 'my truth' there's quite a lot of people ready to shout at anyone who questions evident lies, sorry factual inaccuracies, sorry, alternative facts that align with their truth.

There is the truth, which is the actual fact of what happened, but it is almost always completely unknowable due to interpretation, psychological biases, assumption etc. When people say 'my truth' they mean 'my experience of things' and it may or may not be the truth or anywhere close to it but that doesn't seem to matter anymore, only people's feelings matter nowadays.

It’s more complex and has important cultural connotations that should not be ignored. Again because it was traditionally used by people who had the truth of the difficulties and maltreatment they lived with every day ignored.

But in the current context, having people with extensive privileges (wealth, education, fame, beauty) using it, that is a different matter. It feels really wrong for people who have so much going for them to co-opt this phrase.

@hannayeah

It’s more complex and has important cultural connotations that should not be ignored. Again because it was traditionally used by people who had the truth of the difficulties and maltreatment they lived with every day ignored.

But in the current context, having people with extensive privileges (wealth, education, fame, beauty) using it, that is a different matter. It feels really wrong for people who have so much going for them to co-opt this phrase.

I agree. It is similar to another poster saying it was a useful therapeutic tool for, e.g., victims of child abuse. The problem is that I dont think it was originally meant to replace the truth, or the idea of the truth as a single thing, in those circumstances. E.g. One persons "truth" might be that they experienced severe racial discrimination at school, and sexual harrasment in their job. They might never be able to prove that. And the overwhelming social attitude may be that it didnt happen, or isnt important. So in that context framing it as "their truth" allows people to talk about something without feeling as though they need to provide evidence/defend themseleves as in a court of law. But that doesnt mean that there isnt a literal truth in that situation - The truth is Miss X did call them a racial slur. Y did keep making dirty jokes. X and Y might never admit it - they have their own "truth" but there is still a single objective truth in that situation. Framing it as "all truths are created equal" allows gaslighters and abusers to grab control of it and they do. They can also dismiss other people "well that is just your truth". No it is THE truth. The other problem of course is that someone with great privilege in all sorts of ways could consider themselves deeply opressed (e.g. the Atlanta shooting guy). In fact, abusive people generally do (see the Stately Homes board). At which point it becomes hugely problematic I just think having a wooly hold on "truth" can be quite dangerous.

You saw it a bit during the Me Too movement. A celebrity is accused of harrasment by numerous women: "I have always loved and respected women and I am truly sorry if my actions at any point made any one feel uncomfortable". By appearing to respect "your truth" of experiencing racism/abuse whatever I can actually be downgrading it.

Yes, exactly.

I think the proper use of it is when a powerless victim stayed silent and just had to bear whatever they were experiencing.

It is a close cousin of the phrase “spoke truth to power”.

It’s not a phrase powerful people should be utilizing.

I think so much is being appropriated from the historical African American fight recently. That’s also the origin of the term “woke”.

Sorry, I meant to finish that thought:

I think the proper use of it is when a powerless victim stayed silent and just had to bear whatever they were experiencing. Then one day they speak, and tell the truth about their experience.

This is what happens when we let people redefine the actual meaning of words to suit their personal agenda.
While language can and does evolve, this is slow and organic and occurs when the majority of the population comes to see the new meaning as more accurate or real than the previous meaning. But this cannot be forced or imposed upon people and I think it's important to respect definitions as currently understood by the majority - for the majority 'truth' means actual fact, not personal interpretation.

@Marmaladeagain

Have we had: "You can't handle the truth" yet? Jack Nicholson - 80s film reference?

You're damn right I issued a Code Red ! Jack's right. They couldn't handle the truth. People like the Tom Cruise character wants to be safe from foreign attacks but the people who keep him safe are distasteful to him.

I use my truth in therapy all of time. It’s what I felt and saw and remember of my trauma. For me it is truth. My parents see it differently. They believe they are telling the truth and so do I. Neither are lies.

@Chipsahoy

I use my truth in therapy all of time. It’s what I felt and saw and remember of my trauma. For me it is truth. My parents see it differently. They believe they are telling the truth and so do I. Neither are lies.

@hannayeah ahhh yes, but.... what about all the men who are the voiceless, powerless victims of the all matriarchy we are apparently now living in. What about the powerless white nationalists who feel themselves victims of "the great replacement"*. This is all bollocks, but the problem is lots of people genuinely see themselves as opressed and are more than happy to appropriate the language of the opressed. The problem is, the right has a lot more practice playing "identity politics" (I know its a broad, loaded term) than the left and I worry they are better at it.

*don't ask

@Chipsahoy sorry, I didnt mean to quote you! I completely agree with using it in a therapeutic context.

@apalledandshocked

Can you define for me what you mean by “playing identity politics”?

Just want to make sure I have the correct understanding.

My understanding (potentially v wrong) is that it originated as a way to wake people up to a side of life/living that they genuinely did not or could not realise existed. So "this is what it is like for me everyday, truly, and you guys have no idea." Generally from a downtrodden, ignored, disregarded person/group of people.

But I think it has been used in a different way recently to try to get across a realisation that different people may different perspectives, as pps have said.

I also think that unfortunately the phrase has started to be exploited by those using it as "my opinion/experience/perspective (but I expect you to treat that opinion as fact and will get irate if you disagree)". (Thanks to a pp for putting that into words clearly for me to copy paste!)

Presenting it as truth of any sort makes it difficult to disagree/query/question without also calling the truth-speaker a liar.

I think it's become a nasty little phrase to stop anyone being held accountable for what they are saying..."it's my truth and so noone else can know or argue with it." It shuts down discussion.

@Lancrelady80

My understanding (potentially v wrong) is that it originated as a way to wake people up to a side of life/living that they genuinely did not or could not realise existed. So "this is what it is like for me everyday, truly, and you guys have no idea." Generally from a downtrodden, ignored, disregarded person/group of people.

But I think it has been used in a different way recently to try to get across a realisation that different people may different perspectives, as pps have said.

I also think that unfortunately the phrase has started to be exploited by those using it as "my opinion/experience/perspective (but I expect you to treat that opinion as fact and will get irate if you disagree)". (Thanks to a pp for putting that into words clearly for me to copy paste!)

Presenting it as truth of any sort makes it difficult to disagree/query/question without also calling the truth-speaker a liar.

I think it's become a nasty little phrase to stop anyone being held accountable for what they are saying..."it's my truth and so noone else can know or argue with it." It shuts down discussion.

This is spot on.

Isn’t it just the modern way of saying “there are two sides to every story” so “that’s her/ his/ my side of the story” or “ what’s your/ their side of the story”
I see it as the same as this

And I also think you can use “ but there are always two sides to every story of course” as a rebuttal depending on the situation

Isn’t it just the modern way of saying “there are two sides to every story” so “that’s her/ his/ my side of the story” or “ what’s your/ their side of the story
Outside of therapy contexts it's increasingly used to mean "my version of events and don't you dare question me otherwise you're a mean and nasty person and I'm a victim".

By add in the word 'truth' there's the hope that nobody will challenge because that means calling someone a liar.

The infiltration of 'my truth' into all areas of life is an abuser or narcissist's dream as it means that if their victims challenge them they can say "well that might be YOUR truth" and gaslight them. It's also ideal for celebrities who want to avoid criticism because nobody can challenge them as 'technically it's my truth and who are you to question'.
Outside of it's original uses it's just another version of alternative facts.

Yes I agree , it’s the liberal woke version of Trump’s “alternate facts”
Two sides of the same coin.

By add in the word 'truth' there's the hope that nobody will challenge because that means calling someone a liar

I think it’s even worse in the context that it was most recently used. By evoking the language of the AA struggle the implied threat is “If you don’t fully support my narrative and react the way I believe I’m due, then you are the worst kind of person and a racist on the level of the kind that supported keeping African Americans from fully integrating into society.”

For me it evokes the horror of the 1950s treatment of African Americans in the US. Separate bathrooms and water fountains, stores with “whites only” signs. And “nice” white people living with this and barely noticing. And I think that was the intent.

It’s basically a way of saying “Due to my protected status you have no right to judge what I’m telling you. Regardless of how rich, intelligent, famous and beautiful I am, you have to believe that I’m a victim because I didn’t get my way.”