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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 'my truth' or 'your truth' doesn't mean THE truth?

148 replies

FridayNightAtTheBronze · 17/03/2021 09:48

I've seen this phrase used so much recently, and it really irritates me for some reason!

People saying 'This is my truth.'

Surely they just mean 'This is my side of the story'.

Or

'This is my version of events'.

AIBU to think that 'my truth' shouldn't be conflated with telling THE truth? And to be irrationally irritated when I hear it?!

OP posts:
Marmaladeagain · 17/03/2021 13:17

StealthPolarBear - I saw "12 Angry Men" again recently. It's a powerful message on the interpretation of "truth" from the view of a jury in a murder case.

Anyone that hasn't seen it, then well worth a lockdown watch (Talking Pictures is the channel with some of these old, but powerful films)- it's worth a watch - Henry Fonda (just a member of the jury in the room with 11 other men) unpicking everyone's assumptions that the defendant was guilty.

They each change their mind and reveal their own prejudice as to why they believe events unfolded a certain way. It's powerful message. They get to the truth in the end and can't convict beyond reasonable doubt. They also recognise that some of the witnesses revealed some prejudices. Everyday events that happen to us in our own life, that may inform our view of what's the "truth".

Combustablecustard · 17/03/2021 13:19

It means my opinion or my side of things.

The problem with saying opinion or side of things is that it makes it clear that what is beibg said is subjective and open to questioning.

Saying "my truth" gives the appearance of objectivity and suggests what the speaker said shouldnt be questioned or scrutinised.

LucieStar · 17/03/2021 13:20

@DrSbaitso

I know a lot of people don't like it but I actually do. We all have a truth as we perceive it; we believe it is true, to us it is, we may well think we know it is true. But the qualifier of "my" or "your" or whatever possessive indicates that it is indeed just that: my truth, as I perceive and understand it to be. It's very honest, really.

So many situations don't have an objective, absolute truth that my, your, his or her truth is the nearest we can get to one.

Agree with all of this

Marmaladeagain · 17/03/2021 13:20

OR....., they might be busy and distracted or phrased something clumsily on an informal forum, rather than a bigot - bit of an assumption to make.

Did anyone teach you "give people the benefit of the doubt" when they taught you how to count facial features?

emilyfrost · 17/03/2021 13:20

@SkedaddIe What are you talking about? Yes, I replied to you, and you said you were specifically offended by me Grin despite never having interacted with me before you made your “woe is me I’m so offended by you” post.

You are quite clearly a woke offended by everything person because you got upset at someone (not me, btw) using the word woke in the only context appropriate for it - negatively.

Iusedtoliveinsanfrancisco · 17/03/2021 13:20

Obama gave a recent talk where he said that we are all entitled to our own opinions bye we are not entitled to our own facts.

GreyhoundG1rl · 17/03/2021 13:22

"My truth" is complete bollocks. Truth is absolute. If you mean your experience or your opinion; then say so.
Words matter. More than ever, in these weird times.

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 17/03/2021 13:24

This goes to the heart of the phrase. There is rarely one truth in every situation. Most often, circumstances affect different people in different ways. Since there are many truths happening, I'm not sure why people are so upset with people saying "my truth"

I'd pay good money to see someone say the above in court when asked to take the oath.

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 17/03/2021 13:25

I do like 'recollections may vary' - could mean that 'memory is unreliable but we believe you are recounting events as you remember them' but equally 'you are lying'. It's a perfectly crafted phrase.

Marmaladeagain · 17/03/2021 13:25

I do like the Obamas, they will just get better as they get older and wiser with their messaging too, like actual kind people - the sort that want to see good in other and improve relations, not score on their "woke bingo card".

Not sure some are hearing the nuance from the Obamas though.

SkedaddIe · 17/03/2021 13:25

@emilyfrost

Learn to read

You quoted me first.

I was quite happy to go along with a life with you not in it.

You quoted me and labelled me as sensitive being offended by anything.

I replied and clarified directly to you.

We're on a thread about truth so I told my whole truth (irony intended).

toffeebutterpopcorn · 17/03/2021 13:25

‘My truth’ and ‘your truth’ has become a bit of an expression around here...

Who used the last loo roll??
It wasn’t me - and this is my truth...

Did you take the rubbish out?
I did - that is my truth (as you trip over the bag of rubbish)

I ran for the country!
You did did you? Is that your truth?

GreyhoundG1rl · 17/03/2021 13:26

@toffeebutterpopcorn

‘My truth’ and ‘your truth’ has become a bit of an expression around here...

Who used the last loo roll??
It wasn’t me - and this is my truth...

Did you take the rubbish out?
I did - that is my truth (as you trip over the bag of rubbish)

I ran for the country!
You did did you? Is that your truth?

Is that a piss take? Confused
emilyfrost · 17/03/2021 13:30

@SkedaddIe Okay you quite clearly don’t have a clue what’s going on.

I know I quoted you first, I just said that. You then said you were personally offended by me despite having never interacted with me before.

You were also personally offended by someone else using the word woke negatively.

You just need to calm down and not be offended by a word, because if you’re offended by a word you’re going to find life extremely challenging and it really needn’t be. You’re just making things hard for yourself.

MaMaD1990 · 17/03/2021 13:40

I fucking DESPISE this phrase. No word can describe the feeling it gives me better than rage. Its just awful.

Llyn · 17/03/2021 13:43

This.

To think 'my truth' or 'your truth' doesn't mean THE truth?
AlecTrevelyan006 · 17/03/2021 13:44

@MaMaD1990

I fucking DESPISE this phrase. No word can describe the feeling it gives me better than rage. Its just awful.
True dat
CaribouCarafe · 17/03/2021 13:48

@Llyn

This.
Agree completely.
apalledandshocked · 17/03/2021 13:57

@StealthPolarBear

That's actually a really good point. I was once on a jury, the case was rape and there were witnesses. They all disagreed on what I would consider points of absolute fact - where it happened and who phoned the police. These were independent eyewitnesses with no reason to lie. It struck me at the time as really interesting and an example of how things we all know to be absolute and true, might not be.
Yes, it is relevant in that respect. However, it doesnt take away from the fact that there was an actual "true" version of events that happened. The trial (idealistically speaking) was happening as part of an attempt to get to the closest version of the real truth that it could. Otherwise you drown in subjectivism - well, maybe if we accept that reality is merely a construct then the client can not be considered to be a rapist - despite the testimony of the 15 witnesses. He himself believes himself to be innocent and are any of us in a position to question his own way of looking at the world? Or conspiracy theorists can fall down rabbit holes because who is to say if the blogger jetfuelcantmeltsteelbeams opinion on Covid is worth less than the WHO's? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But not their own facts.
Mittens030869 · 17/03/2021 13:58

I really hate the word ‘woke’ with a passion, especially when it’s used by people who want to justify their own offensiveness and don’t like being rightly called out on it.

Why has it replaced the phrase ‘politically correct’? The way it’s mostly used, it appears to mean the same thing? Confused

Rant over.

To answer the OP, I agree that ‘my truth’ really means ‘my version of events’.

apalledandshocked · 17/03/2021 13:59

@Iusedtoliveinsanfrancisco

Obama gave a recent talk where he said that we are all entitled to our own opinions bye we are not entitled to our own facts.
Ive been saying that for years, years!!! I am irrationally annoyed now that Barack Obama somehow stole my quote....
Itsalonghaul · 17/03/2021 14:18

There are facts as we know them, then there is how people perceive the facts and that is different. In the court of law, you will have the agreed facts, than the points in dispute.

'My truth' is most definitely my version of events as I would like you to understand them, it does not mean it is THE truth.

It is an artful use of words designed to make others think their account is authentic. It may not be based on facts or anything like the truth as we know it, but its aim is to encourage you trust what is being said.

It also saves you from a heavy lawsuit when someone uncovers the facts and calls you out, you can just claim it is 'your' truth, not 'the' truth.

One might question the need to say 'my truth' if it is in fact the truth! If it is the truth there is no need to say so, it should be plainly obvious to all/most.

GreyhoundG1rl · 17/03/2021 14:22

One might question the need to say 'my truth' if it is in fact the truth! If it is the truth there is no need to say so, it should be plainly obvious to all/most.
Exactly this.
The very wording suggests there will be other versions...

jacks11 · 17/03/2021 14:32

YANBU

Too many people seem to feel their opinion or even their “feelings” on any given subject, event or incident are the same as fact. Even when presented with evidence to the contrary, or even suggesting they aren’t entirely right is met with “but that’s not how I feel about that”.

More concerning to me is the desire among so many to inhabit an echo chamber, surrounding yourself with those who agree with you and only really listening to those who share your views (or are only very slightly different from yours). These people seem scared of genuine debate and unable to engage with others who they “feel offended by” etc. I find some of the cancel culture within university very troubling, for instance.

Satis · 17/03/2021 14:37

There's three sides to every story, baby / There's yours and there's mine and the cold, hard truth / Don Henley, "Long Way Home"