Shocked, upset and angry

[Icanflyhigh]

I hosted a work zoom meeting tonight and about half way through a late attendee arrived and my co-host admitted them to the meeting.
It was the man who raped me 6 years ago. I removed him from the meeting very quickly.
My work is very public, but over the last few months this man has tried to join some of my work related fb groups, and he must have googled my name to get the details of the meeting off the meeting agenda.
I did report him to the police after he raped me, he is an ex.
He was arrested and questioned and cautioned but never charged as CPS said insufficient evidence because I didn't report straight away. I was the second person to allege this against him apparently.
I'm now scared of hosting further meetings. Do I report this to police also?
He has no reason to be joining the meeting, even though they're public, he isn't local to me (I don't think) and as far as I know he got married a few years ago. Is this stalker behaviour?
I have to tell the co-host of the meeting tomorrow why I was so useless for the rest of the meeting tonight, and I just wanted to leave this all behind years ago where it belongs.

Oh OP I’m so sorry this happened to you I would report to the police as he is harassing you

Report to the police and see if they would consider it harassment. I'm sorry you had to experience that.

I'm so sorry OP, what a horrible shock. I think getting this logged with the police would be a good idea.

I would report it, and also write down the name of the person you reported it to, and other details.
Just in case things escalate, you need concise notes.

Thanks. I have a video recording of the zoom meeting as absolute proof it happened.
I really need sleep but I'm actually shaking.

Yes, report it - along with the other groups he's tried to join that you're in, it provides a pattern of harassment

Thank you, I've just looked online and can fill in a form to report.

That is so horrible. You poor thing. Try to sleep now and report him first thing tomorrow. 💐

That must have been really scary for you. I hope you're okay!

I would report it. So sorry for what he did/is putting you through. Hope you have someone looking after you 💐 xxx

I had to tell my work in the end about my rapist. He kept doing similar (pre zoom etc) so it was affecting my work. The police were involved and due to the nature of my work (working with offenders) he was considered a big risk to my clients.
They were amazing.

Are you okay?

I agree OP, you need to consider reporting, it's create a footprint of a pattern of behaviour if needed in the future.

You poor thing, that must have been a horrible shock. Hope you've had some sleep

For one of my roles we use zoom with passcode. Is that an option as then only those invited can attend.

Horrendous- definitely report. I know hugs aren't popular here but sending you strength

Sorry this happened to you OP 😔

I hope you did manage some sleep.

Agree you should report to the police. I hope they are helpful.

Yes report it to the police
You don’t have to explain everything to your co-host if you don’t want to, only what you feel comfortable saying

I would also speak to your HR department & Line manager.

My employer published my direct line contact details (photo, office address, email, DD land line and mobile number) on a public facing document. A stalker I thought I had lost when I changed my name came across it.

My employer took it very seriously - removing the information & reprinting the prospectus. Changing my email, work numbers etc. Blocking his computer and phones from all of our telephony & digital systems. Writing a very strongly worded legal letter. Contacting colleagues in a sister organisation to give him visit and explain how much trouble he would be in if he continued to harass me. I appreciate not everyone has that resource.

Fortunately my stalker has not been able to unearth my private whereabouts.

My employer also apologised and has rewritten its policies so no one's personal details are given out unless they consent prior to publication. We now have group emails for all public facing correspondence.

Oh jings I am sorry for you how awful .but I would imagine as this is a very public meeting and anyone can join in he will just say he was interested in whatever subject it was .but hopefully s stern talking to ti piss off from police might help x

I second what PP said about mentioning to HR so they can change your numbers etc. Must be so hard when your role is public facing

I'm sorry this happened to you
Who sent him a link for him to join in?

How awful. Definitely report it OP. . So sorry you were put in such a terrible situation, I can’t begin to imagine how awful that was for you.

Thanks for all the replies, I'm.ok, haven't slept a lot but need to carry on as normal for the DCs
Will come back and answer all the questions after school run

That is horrendous. Violating in so many ways. Please do report it. And have your work ban him from any events.