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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the nursery aren’t being safe?

69 replies

justkeepskipping · 16/03/2021 14:33

My son started nursery for the first time last week.

It’s took me ages to pick the nursery and I was really happy with my choice.

Last week I was allowed into the room for my sons first settling in session. I had to mask up and sanitise.

I was surprised I was allowed in, but also really glad as I didn’t like the idea of handing my son over to a complete stranger, especially as he’s never been left with anyone before.

After the first session I then had to only drop him
at the gate and he was collected by a member of staff.

I was talking to a friend and she said it was really bad the nursery had even let me in and pointed out that other parents will be around my son when they do their settling in sessions.

I’m starting to feel really uneasy about it now.

I am an anxious person and don’t know if I’m just being over the top.

I really do like the nursery but starting wonder how safe they are.

They haven’t had a Covid case amongst staff of children since October.

I know they have good cleaning procedures in place and the staff don’t mix between rooms.

Obviously other parents at the nursery must be okay with this, so am I just being picky?

OP posts:
SimplyMarvellousDarrrrrrling · 16/03/2021 14:36

I think its quite normal to worry , they have to be really careful so please don't worry , they sound like they are taking sensible precautions

Peanutbutterandbananatoastie · 16/03/2021 14:39

I think that settling in sessions are essentials. It is very important for your son and you to have you there. Many kids at the nursery would have been going since before the pandemic. I think you might be a bit over anxious about this. It’s understandable when your child goes to nursery for the first time to be anxious, but COVID can’t be the only thing that nurseries take into account when it comes to children’s well-being.

ineedaholidaynow · 16/03/2021 14:40

Not safe from a COVID point of view, or other reasons?

ChelseaCat · 16/03/2021 14:40

I was allowed to have four (yes four!) settling in sessions with my LO

Original poster
justkeepskipping · 16/03/2021 14:41

@ineedaholidaynow

Not safe from a COVID point of view, or other reasons?
@ineedaholidaynow

Covid PoV.

OP posts:
Original poster
justkeepskipping · 16/03/2021 14:41

@ChelseaCat

I was allowed to have four (yes four!) settling in sessions with my LO
@ChelseaCat

Inside the nursery with him?

OP posts:
badgerhead · 16/03/2021 14:42

The guidance from the government is that parents are allowed in for short settling in visits as long as precautions are taken, such as masks, handwashing & ventilation. So I do not see a problem with what you described.

ChelseaCat · 16/03/2021 14:42

Sorry, pressed send way too soon!

I was also required to wear a mask and sanitise, and I tried not to really touch anything while I was there (letting staff open the doors and gates. Etc).

I’m not really worried about other parents for settling sessions. Realistically it’s not going to happen very frequently. I guess I might be a bit more relaxed as we’ve all had COVID already.

Try not to worry OP. The nursery will have risk assessed

mynameiscalypso · 16/03/2021 14:43

I was allowed in for DS first session last year - I don't really see that the risk of me being in the room for half an hour is that much higher than my DS, for example, licking another child's face when he's in the room all day. Not that I know that has happened obviously but I can imagine it does happen because toddlers are disgusting.

Worknoplay · 16/03/2021 14:43

I know it's difficult to rationalise, but your DS will be around other children all day. Probably playing with toys, sharing toys, being physically close to each other. Parents going in for settling in session is so important. They probably are asked to not approach other children too closely. Your DS is much more likely to get covid from another child or member of staff - although all staff are tested now a couple times a week so that should help.

I think the nursery is following the protocols for covid safety and it's fine.

SionnachRua · 16/03/2021 14:43

But if those parents are a Covid risk, surely you'd consider their DC a Covid risk too? They do live together presumably. I think if this is something that really bothers you, surely sending your dc to nursery altogether must too.

Notimeforaname · 16/03/2021 14:43

Yes you will have to relax a bit. They,I'm sure will do all they can to keep the childrens health top priority but these are things you cannot control unless you take your child out.

You also have no idea who the staff see after hours...and really your child will be mixing with others...who have been near their own parents anyway.
So I have said YABU because you're worrying about somthing you cannot control.

ChelseaCat · 16/03/2021 14:43

Yup inside the nursery (for at least part of the session). He was pretty chilled out from day one so it’s not as though he particularly needed me there but they told me that they prefer to take things slow.

radioband · 16/03/2021 14:45

What would you rather happen? Your son be taken into a strange place he has never been before?

Notimeforaname · 16/03/2021 14:46

Ive worked in nurseries and although you clean constantly,even pre covid...babies will spit and slobber all over things and before you know it...another baby has grabbed it and sucked on it!

So worrying about the parents of the children being in the building ,is rather pointless if your child will be attending.

Original poster
justkeepskipping · 16/03/2021 14:47

@SionnachRua

I think if this is something that really bothers you, surely sending your dc to nursery altogether must too.

Yes, it does. I’m finding it hard tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
justkeepskipping · 16/03/2021 14:48

@radioband

What would you rather happen? Your son be taken into a strange place he has never been before?
@radioband

No.

But if the staff get Covid from another parent then that increases the children’s risk too!

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 16/03/2021 14:51

You cant know who the staff and parents see in their own time, presumably a lot of those parents work and possibly outside the home. Babies cannot be stopped from climbing all over eachother and sharing things.

I think if these thoughts are too much for you it's best to take your baby out of nursery if at all possible.

SionnachRua · 16/03/2021 14:54

[quote justkeepskipping]@SionnachRua

I think if this is something that really bothers you, surely sending your dc to nursery altogether must too.

Yes, it does. I’m finding it hard tbh.[/quote]
Flowers Look, starting nursery for the first time is hard and starting during a pandemic is an extra stress.

You've already said that they have really good procedures, no mixing between rooms and no cases. That sounds like they've a good system in place. Settling in sessions make a lot of sense to me - sure it's having an additional person in but when the child goes home to that person anyway, I couldn't get too worked up about it.

I think you are being overanxious here but it's a gentle YABU from me.

Original poster
justkeepskipping · 16/03/2021 14:54

@Notimeforaname

I think if these thoughts are too much for you it's best to take your baby out of nursery if at all possible.

That’s only possible if I quit my job, which isn’t even an option.

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 16/03/2021 14:56

Ours allow you to go in for settling in session which ideally was outside but not when raining.

Realistically there won’t be new kids every day.

Also why deny this to other kids when you happily did it for yours?

Notimeforaname · 16/03/2021 14:57

I'm sorry you're feeling like this. I can only imagine how hard it is raising a baby during this mess. Flowers

I hope you will feel more comfortable with the arrangement eventually. X

Original poster
justkeepskipping · 16/03/2021 14:57

@OverTheRainbow88

Ours allow you to go in for settling in session which ideally was outside but not when raining.

Realistically there won’t be new kids every day.

Also why deny this to other kids when you happily did it for yours?

@OverTheRainbow88

I know, I get what you’re saying.

I guess it’s because I know I’m really safe (more extremely than most people)

OP posts:
Littlefish · 16/03/2021 14:58

I've worked in 2 nurseries during the last year. In each case, 1 parent was invited to attend settling in visits with their child (masks, social distancing, hand washing, ventilation etc.) Parents were asked not to touch the resources, but it was really important that they were there.

Some parents only stayed for one session, others stayed for 3 or 4 if their child needed them.

I think your friend is being really unhelpful!

Karmakarmachameleon · 16/03/2021 14:59

As another poster has mentioned, the government nursery guidelines allow settling in sessions provided the parent is masked etc. So it sounds like they’re operating within guidelines. I think it’s a good sign that they are facilitating them personally.

Lots of parents have had no settling-in sessions at all and I think many have found it quite upsetting. Last year I moved nurseries, choosing one that was allowing settling in sessions (with precautions) over one that had a blanket ban, because I wasn’t happy with not having them at all.

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