To think the nursery aren’t being safe?

[justkeepskipping]

My son started nursery for the first time last week.

It’s took me ages to pick the nursery and I was really happy with my choice.

Last week I was allowed into the room for my sons first settling in session. I had to mask up and sanitise.

I was surprised I was allowed in, but also really glad as I didn’t like the idea of handing my son over to a complete stranger, especially as he’s never been left with anyone before.

After the first session I then had to only drop him
at the gate and he was collected by a member of staff.

I was talking to a friend and she said it was really bad the nursery had even let me in and pointed out that other parents will be around my son when they do their settling in sessions.

I’m starting to feel really uneasy about it now.

I am an anxious person and don’t know if I’m just being over the top.

I really do like the nursery but starting wonder how safe they are.

They haven’t had a Covid case amongst staff of children since October.

I know they have good cleaning procedures in place and the staff don’t mix between rooms.

Obviously other parents at the nursery must be okay with this, so am I just being picky?

@Littlefish

I think your friend is being really unhelpful!

I think she is too. Her son is a different nursery and she does seem to compare a lot!

@Karmakarmachameleon

As another poster has mentioned, the government nursery guidelines allow settling in sessions provided the parent is masked etc. So it sounds like they’re operating within guidelines. I think it’s a good sign that they are facilitating them personally.

Lots of parents have had no settling-in sessions at all and I think many have found it quite upsetting. Last year I moved nurseries, choosing one that was allowing settling in sessions (with precautions) over one that had a blanket ban, because I wasn’t happy with not having them at all.

@Karmakarmachameleon

My husband said this to me, he’s happier that I was able to go with our son instead of just sending him in alone.

It’s just the doubts that start creeping In after and I start overly worrying.

I think it sounds fine. I think the nursery has done well to let you in, sounds as if they are really being helpful to ensure your child settles.

I would be more worried about my child's emotional attachment to me than covid. Handing your child over to a stranger after walking round the inside of a room to make a decision must have been huge for you. Imagine how big the idea must be for your small child who has known no one except you?
Covid is not the worry and your friend was a bit silly to make that the focus.

You only solution is to take him out of nursery. There is no guarantee anyone is safe at the moment. The nursery sound like they’re doing the best they can in difficult times.

@B1rthis

I would be more worried about my child's emotional attachment to me than covid. Handing your child over to a stranger after walking round the inside of a room to make a decision must have been huge for you. Imagine how big the idea must be for your small child who has known no one except you? Covid is not the worry and your friend was a bit silly to make that the focus.

@B1rthis

I didn’t hand him over to a stranger.
I went in the room with him and stayed for his first session.

But if the staff get Covid from another parent then that increases the children’s risk too

If a parent has Covid, chances are the kid will too, or at least be carrying it, and the staff will get much closer to the child than they would to the parent. Ergo, it would have been passed on anyway.

Your kid will be licking these other kids soon, I think the time has come to let him crack on and trust the nursery and the government (!) guidelines.

My DS settling in session is next month. I'm thrilled they're letting me in the room (masked). It's only an hour, I know I will take all the precautions and it will really help him.

@NormanStangerson

I think the time has come to let him crack on and trust the nursery and the government (!) guidelines.

I know. You’re absolutely right. I’m just finding it hard.

I understand your point but also, those children love with those parents so if the parent has covid... it’s more than likely the child will too.

I would be so upset if i found out the child before me had a parent for settling in sessions but then I wasn’t. It’s as safe as it can be.

I also feel more sorry for your friend that they are just expected to hand children over with no adjustment period.

[quote justkeepskipping]@NormanStangerson

I think the time has come to let him crack on and trust the nursery and the government (!) guidelines.

I know. You’re absolutely right. I’m just finding it hard.[/quote]
Of course you are. That normal. It would be weird if you didn’t. Starting nursery is a big deal at the best of times, let alone the forced distancing a pandemic brings. You’ll all be ok.

If you think rationally, a child's parent presents no extra risk, because if they have Covid, their child who plays with your DC every day is likely to have it.
Unless you are shielding, it isn't worth being concerned about. Covid will be around for years and your DC will do to school at some point.

Any chance your friend, who I presume knows about your anxiety, is jealous about your DS’ nursery and trying to make you doubt yourself? Some parents get ridiculously competitive.

The benefits to children of having parents there to help them with settling in rather than just abandoning them (from the child’s perspective) most likely outweighs the risk of covid.

@GrumpyHoonMain

Any chance your friend, who I presume knows about your anxiety, is jealous about your DS’ nursery and trying to make you doubt yourself? Some parents get ridiculously competitive.

@GrumpyHoonMain

Funnily enough my husband has said the same thing.

Why do you think the parents who come in for odd sessions are a risk but their children, there every day, are not?

I think it's fine! Would you rather have handed him to a total stranger in a strange environment at the door and walked away?

When DD started reception in September parents were allowed into the classroom to get the children settled and once they were distracted playing to slink away

@justkeepskipping - I think you have your answer then. I would probably start distancing myself from her.

@sanfranfibber

Why do you think the parents who come in for odd sessions are a risk but their children, there every day, are not?

@sanfranfibber

I do think the children are a risk.

I think you need to calm a bit OP-such young children really aren’t severely affected by covid. We’ve had to isolate once in the whole year, because of a burst bubble at the nursery, we didn’t catch it- there’s another case in another bubble at the nursery currently- I’m really not bothered. We as a society are going to live with Covid, something you may need to get your head around too.

Oh and your friend sounds competitive- ignore!

I think if you’re putting a child in nursery, particularly before you’re truly ready to (I had to do this), you’ll always find something to worry about. As you’re doing it in the time of covid, it’s natural that this will be a worry.

I’m sure after a couple of weeks when your son is settled, you won’t even worry about it!

My thing was that the wall displays weren’t exciting enough and trust me, I am not that parent!

I hope he settles well OP, it’s a tough step for you, but it sounds like you’ve put a lot of thought into choosing the right place and could do without the company of that friend while you all get used to nursery.

I'd stop sharing info with your friend and just go with what feels right to you.

I almost changed nurseries in January but the new one wouldn't allow a settling in session and I refused to hand my child over at the door to effectively a stranger.
Settling in sessions are really important. Covid is a risk but it's not the only thing we should be worrying about.

The parent and child doing a settle session presumably come from the same household so surely the extra danger is negligible as even if the parent isn't there they will have close contact at home? I think settle sessions are important and essential.

Let’s be honest, if a child is at nursery they are mixing with lots of children and staff (not masked!) so surely it makes little difference. Also chances are if a parent had covid, the child would too so them not coming inside probably wouldn’t matter.

I might regret saying this (sods law!) , but DD nursery has been open the whole of covid time, bar 4 weeks last May time. She’s gone full time since six months and they not had a single covid case amongst staff or children.

I don’t think nurseries can win to be honest, parents complain about no settling in sessions and complain when they are given them 🙈