... to think that most on MN do not have an ok/good sex life?

[Blueskywhy]

So many posts on this topic recently that it has made think. I suspect it is just that people only post when there is a problem? For example, the typical posts in order of frequency based on what I've read in recent days:

• DP/DH no longer wants to have sex
• dysfunctional/abusive relationship and no sex
• DP/DH wants sex, but I've totally lost interest
• Never had an orgasm

No need to post any details, just more curious about the vote! Mine is OK/good :)

YABU - I disagree, I have an ok/good sex life

YANBU - I agree, I do not have an ok/good sex life

I saw an interesting one last week. Someone had asked "AIBU to think we all have crap sex" or similar and the (anonymous) poll was 90% YANBU but all the answers were like "oh no we have brilliant sex"

I was asked a question about GP referral in a PM, and thought I'd post the reply here.

NHS and referrals for this and related issues
www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/what-does-a-sex-therapist-do/#:~:text=The%20GP%20can%20refer%20you,ll%20need%20to%20pay%20for.

The most commonly used initial book is this one
www.amazon.co.uk/Becoming-Orgasmic-sexual-personal-programme/dp/0749929138?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

It's dated, but a foundation starter :)

@Anycrispsleft ... have to careful phrasing, interpreting and answering the question!

It's like joke about US President and the Coolidge Effect:

The Coolidge effect
The President and Mrs. Coolidge were being shown (separately) around an experimental government farm. When Mrs. Coolidge came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very frequently. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, "Dozens of times each day." Mrs. Coolidge said, "Tell that to the President when he comes by." Upon being told, President asked, "Same hen every time?" The reply was, "Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time." President: "Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge."

@ScarfaceCwaw

I honestly think a lot of people on here just don't like sex, or their own bodies or anyone else's. I'm continually amazed by the germaphobia, squeamishness and elaborate cleaning rituals. Someone was complaining the other day about how sex just wasn't worth the extensive cleanup they had to do afterwards and I was like "...What?"

17 years with DH and two small DC here and our sex life is good/great. The frequency is less than when we were younger and unencumbered but it's always been important to both of us to make time for it. And it's better in some ways now as we've got deeper trust in each other and discovered new things together.

I don't find it weird/unusual that some women have never orgasmed at all - I knew that was a thing. I do find it slightly weird and surprising how rigid some people are about sex on here, and all the competing about how disinterested they are and how disgusting their male partners are.

I think this post is absolutely spot on and I posted similar earlier in the thread.

I think it's a mental thing as much as anything - it's a sort of competitive self identification that sex is not something to desire or want anymore and it was mainly "doing the deed" to create DC.

Scientifically it would be fascinating to correlate these threads with the "my bastard DH left me and is having sex with someone else" or "found DH watching porn" but I guess that's wrong to even posit such a question.

Another way to look at these things are in relation to mental and physical state split. There are certain physical things than can stop you liking/enjoying sex, illness, hormones, certain medications. Some of these can be address to a greater or lesser degree.

Then there is the whole mental state. If you are not a good place in a relationship, then the not having an on sex like is just one of the many issues at that stage.

The never had an orgasm ("primary anorgasmia" or "lifelong anorgasmia") issue is almost always psychological too, and treatments very successful. Google if you are in that situation :)

Just looked at poll, so now 38% (of 344 people) do not have an ok/good sex life. Didn't have any idea what the result would be!

I have a great sex life.

With myself.

Thanks for the posts and vote. Looks like I was wrong!

Just reading the thread now about "Do you enjoy sex with your partner". Lots of NO there. I guess it's that thing of being more likely to post when you have a problem?