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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad that the world of work as we knew it has gone forever?

809 replies

Youngatheart00 · 15/03/2021 21:07

My work confirmed today we are moving to 100% remote working and will only get together a few times a year for team meetings. I find this so sad. I loved my working life - I know realise so much of that was down to the people. Now all I do all day is stare at screens and give myself a migraine.

They are justifying it by saying ‘most people’ want this despite me never seeing any such survey. It’s a blatant cost cutting exercise.

Anyone else fed up and lonely?

OP posts:
Carrotcakeforbreakfast · 15/03/2021 23:33

It is hard for me to understand as my job cannot be done from home.
I would love to work from home. I hate travelling to and from work.
Hate the parking situation.

I think how wonderful it would be to work with the doors open on a nice spring day, go for a wee when I want, make a drink in my own cup without it going missing, smell my Reed diffuser on the desk (as opposed to vomit or wee etc)

I'm actively looking for a wfh job but it is knowing which way to go as my career is in healthcare.

Ellpellwood · 15/03/2021 23:34

So many workers have roles that will never be compatible with WFH anyway!

Unfortunately this is opinion-based. I suspect many jobs, that the people actually doing them say are not compatible, will magically become so when the company can save in office rent.

NotTerfNorCis · 15/03/2021 23:37

Almost everyone I know loves it, but then, we're software engineers.

The company was just about to move us into an open plan office where we'd have to wear noise-cancelling headsets. I'm sure working from home is much better for concentration.

earthyfire · 15/03/2021 23:43

I'd be overjoyed. I have friends outside of work so I don't rely on work for friendship or chitchat in the kitchen.

Kimye4eva · 15/03/2021 23:48

I’m going to be left with no option but to make friends with the school Mums if I want to see anyone outside my own household most days!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/03/2021 23:51

This has probably been said already, but the thing that worries me - for desk-based jobs especially - is that if employers can outsource work to the home they'll outsource it to other countries

Obviously that won't happen for all, but the unemployment figures are going to look bad enough as it is, without any more going Sad

RedcurrantPuff · 15/03/2021 23:55

Och OP, that is shit for you. Especially as it sounds like it’s just penny pinching.

MX08 · 16/03/2021 00:02

YANBU at all. I did my first weekday daytime shift today in what feels like forever, and god did I need it! I’m a typical introvert but that couple of days a week in an office environment is something I craved so badly during the time schools were closed.

There is a lot to be said for a balance between wfh and going in to work, and they key should be flexibility, we’re all different and prefer to work in different ways. There must be a way of keeping everyone happy.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 16/03/2021 00:06

I’m curious how many ‘I love my job’ people say that because of the actual work they do or because of the people and teams they worked with

I do enjoy my job, but part of what makes it enjoyable is the team I work with. We all get on well and are friends, as well as colleagues, and I can't wait to be able to give each other a hug.

nokidshere · 16/03/2021 00:47

It’s all very well and good for the older generation who are also in senior positions with massive home offices and no need to network as they know everyone already

I'm 'the older generation'. I've wfh for 20yrs so haven't been as affected as others. But I don't know a single person amongst my friends and family (mostly between the ages of 40-60) who doesn't want to go back to work. Mostly they feel like they are now 'living at work' instead of 'working from home'.

I've got two sons, both at uni, one of them finishing in May. He is a total introvert, it would worry me greatly if he doesn't get out and about to work because he really needs pushing into interaction with others. My younger one is a total extrovert, it would worry me greatly if he had to start his career working from home, he would be very depressed without lots of daily personal interactions. Working from their bedrooms will not be conducive to a full and productive life for either of them.

And, just for the record, if I had had to tiptoe round my own house worrying about interrupting DHs work meetings, zoom calls or equipment all over the place we'd be divorced pretty sharpish.

Homes are, on the whole, designed to live in not to work in.

SongSilkTrainspot · 16/03/2021 00:47

@Usagi12

Speak for yourself, most people I know are back in the office from 12 April. Just find a new job and cut the drama!
It’s not drama. It’s fact. A lot of workplaces are going down this route. You sound resentful as though you’d like to work from home, so take your own advice and find a job that stays home.

Save your colleagues your rudeness.

RosemaryShortcake · 16/03/2021 00:53

Ive already been through it, I started wfh pre pandemic and the most generous description is love hate relationship...sometimeslove, sometimes hate. Its the same 4 walls. In the end I moved to a mixed wfh / office job, best of both worlds imho. Oh then covid came!

MixedUpFiles · 16/03/2021 01:13

I’ve wfh for years and years. No health problems. I have a desk and a good chair and my laptop is hooked into a docking station with monitor and keyboard just like it would be in the office. The one perk is at home there is no one to complain that I use an under desk stationary bicycle during meetings.

Jennyennidots · 16/03/2021 01:23

@Youngatheart00 I feel exactly the same. My job is my identity too. I got the news today we were losing our desks and becoming flexi workers instead. I’m gutted. It’s not as extreme as you, but I know that I will never see some of my colleagues as they love working from home. I’m going to be in the office by myself Sad (and possibly people will be annoyed with me for going in every day and ‘hogging’ the flexi desks...)

Mintjulia · 16/03/2021 01:24

I'm sorry you'll miss your work and yanbu if it was your main source of company.

I've moved to WFH as well and feel exactly the opposite.

No more days sitting in a room with four salesmen and their constant sexist & racist jokes.
No more being criticized if I dare to wear something more cheerful than jeans and a sweater
No more being sneezed over by the man opposite who won't take a day off sick because if he does "his wife will make him look after the kids".
No more miserably cold air con.

Instead I can work at home in a comfortable quiet environment without interruptions, leave the car in the garage, and meet with colleagues only when needed, which is two or three hours a week. I can manage my work to cover the afternoon school run without condemnation. I can go for a run at lunchtime without the pointed comments. I can feel my stress levels dropping already. Smile

AliceAbsolum · 16/03/2021 05:50

I'm an NHS mental health therapist and have been wfh for a year now. It's driving me mad! 80% of people do just fine with video therapy but it's painful and distressing for those that don't.

I try to help 6+ people a day who are in distress, alone, with no one to offload too. It's not healthy.

I'm reducing my hours and will not be doing this ever again in the future.

en0la · 16/03/2021 06:01

@AliceAbsolum

I'm an NHS mental health therapist and have been wfh for a year now. It's driving me mad! 80% of people do just fine with video therapy but it's painful and distressing for those that don't.

I try to help 6+ people a day who are in distress, alone, with no one to offload too. It's not healthy.

I'm reducing my hours and will not be doing this ever again in the future.

And probably painful and distressing for you too at times ? Thanks
sanfranfibber · 16/03/2021 06:07

@Usagi12

Speak for yourself, most people I know are back in the office from 12 April. Just find a new job and cut the drama!
Really? But the guidance to wfh doesn't change until 21st June?

That's when we've been told we're going back OP, though not 100% I don't think. I'd be happy with 1 or 2 days from home but I live alone so any more than that is hard.

AliceAbsolum · 16/03/2021 06:08

Absolutely! I don't know if humans are designed to listen and be compassionate day in day out and hold all that pain of others, alone. I reckon I'd start to burn out very soon if I wasn't reducing my hours. I know lots of colleagues who already are. But what can you do, demand is so high

Oblomov21 · 16/03/2021 06:18

I too think it's a real shame, and I don't mean for me personally (mind hasn't changed at all) but generally.

If you hated the commute, didn't like going to the office, hated meetings, don't really like people generally and are incredibly introverted, as most of MN seems to be, then I'm sure you aren't that bothered.

Many others like people, miss the social interaction of the office. I think covid has changed that dramatically, it will never go back to what it was before.

Working at home all the time, 100% on screens, I don't think is good for anyone.

I think this whole thing, and I mean this bug change in work culture, is incredibly damaging, abc people just haven't woken up to the true realisation of this yet.

garlictwist · 16/03/2021 06:21

I wish my work would do this. I much prefer working from home, although I do accept it has its limitations. In my opinion these are far outweighed by the benefits though.

Sadly we are all due to go back to normal as soon as restrictions allow. I think I am going to find it really hard. I hate my office - it's pokey, has no window and it absolutely stinks. It's also freezing cold. I can never wait to get out of there at the end of the day.

Toomanycats99 · 16/03/2021 06:22

My company are planning a split week I think. A portion of the office regularly worked from home whereas many departments didn't at all.

Those departments are definitely keen not to completely lose the home working but the company has identified there needs to be done face to face interaction as they feel it does have business benefits in terms of collaboration and just picking up in conversation around you.
To the PP who said is it a London / Non London thing I think it's probably just whats seen as a normal commute for London would not be usual in other cities. 1.5 hours + is quite common - people in our offices in other countries are shocked at that!

Jet888 · 16/03/2021 06:27

I get you op. I wouldn't miss it now as more convenient for me with kids and always felt one foot out if the door at work now anyway but pre kids my job was a huge part of my identity and I loved, loved, loved working with my colleagues. I know what you're saying about how you wish it could go back to how it was before rather than what is the best solution now.

freezingmarch · 16/03/2021 06:34

@AliceAbsolum

I'm an NHS mental health therapist and have been wfh for a year now. It's driving me mad! 80% of people do just fine with video therapy but it's painful and distressing for those that don't.

I try to help 6+ people a day who are in distress, alone, with no one to offload too. It's not healthy.

I'm reducing my hours and will not be doing this ever again in the future.

And then trying to do clinical supervision over teams makes it even worse!
freezingmarch · 16/03/2021 06:38

What happens if you are told to wfh and:

  • you don't have space for equipment / desk / office chair etc
  • you don't have an office so you can shut it away
  • you have a SAHP who doesn't want to behave like their home is your workplace
  • you have 3 toddlers running around screaming meaning you can't have zoom meetings or concentrate
  • your spouse wants to divorce you because your work shit is everywhere and is sick of listening to you on calls

Etc. Etc.

Then what? Doesn't the company have some responsibility to its staff? Is the only option to leave??