To feel sad that the world of work as we knew it has gone forever?

[Youngatheart00]

My work confirmed today we are moving to 100% remote working and will only get together a few times a year for team meetings. I find this so sad. I loved my working life - I know realise so much of that was down to the people. Now all I do all day is stare at screens and give myself a migraine.

They are justifying it by saying ‘most people’ want this despite me never seeing any such survey. It’s a blatant cost cutting exercise.

Anyone else fed up and lonely?

@thecatandthevicar

Even if you did rely on work to have a social life, WFH will give you the opportunity to rely on other things and have an even more interesting social life.

Will it? How?

I don't rely on my work for my social life nowadays but I have made lasting friendships in all my longer term jobs and regard many of my current colleagues as friends, even if we don't see each other outside of work much. We're all capable of respecting professional boundaries and relaxing at the same time.

When I was a new graduate, employed by a large corporation a hundred miles from where my parents lived in a city where I knew no one, work certainly was where I made friends and formed a social life, it would have been pretty difficult otherwise.

where you knew you had a 90 minute commute (probably in return for £££ London/SE market supplement - people shouldn’t expect that to stick around if full WFH becomes the norm!)

the reality is that people found jobs in central London, and didn't find them anywhere else. It never took me more than a month to have a new job. Why else do you think I work in London?

then people had to live somewhere, and put up with the commute. The alternative is to not accept a job, and what? Go on the dole?

The so-called "supplement" doesn't remotely cover the cost of commute and inflated mortgage rates, not even close! 😂

I don't have a career as such, it's not my identity and I have lots of stuff I like to do outside of work I simply like getting up every day and going out to the office. I like my short commute, I like my colleagues, I like the chit chat and banter, the tea breaks and just the change of scenery. Everything is 'flat' at home every day, I control my environment completely and there is no chance of anything unexpected happening and for me that's very dull, for all my workday interactions to be happening through a screen I'm missing the richness of life, I'm only using 2 of my senses, sight and hearing. I'm missing spontaneity and unexpected daily interaction, seeing weird stuff on my commute, talking to people on the train when it's delayed. I'm not sure if that makes sense, I feel that life sat at home from 9 to 5 on my own is a very 1 dimensional experience and I really feel for people who have been forced into workplace this way when they didn't want to.

Will it? How?

It will assume that you actually make an effort. If you decide that WFH means going from bed to sofa with laptop back to bed, then it is true, you won't have a life. But that's a choice.

@gannett

I'm baffled that so many people seem to depend on their workplace to build up a social life. It must be quite a boring social life. I've enjoyed drinks with colleagues on occasion, of course, but I can't imagine a life where those were the best parties on offer. Socialising with colleagues was always a bit fake to me, you have to be mindful of being professional and that mask doesn't slip. With actual friends I could actually cut loose, be myself, be intimate, be hedonistic.

I agree. It's also sometimes the case that it's the staff who indulge in all the social activities that get the promotions etc, and the "quieter" ones, who are just as capable, get overlooked. Many workplaces suit extroverts rather than introverts and that can impact on career prospects. More WFH would give the introverts an opportunity to shine when they're not being looked down on for not going to the pub every Friday evening or not going to "Julie from marketing"'s party!

InCinemasWednesday

you are describing more the lockdown status, which is depressing at best, more than the chance of WFH and having a life out of the office.

YANBU
We are lucky we can choose to come in or not.
Maybe it’s time for you to look for another job OP, where there’s some interaction.

I totally empathise OP. I am now 51 and love working from home. I have done it for many years pre covid. I got to an age where I couldn't stand getting up and having to drive miles or commute. Additionally I moved quite rurally and got a dog and home working really suits my time of life and lifestyle. However, I could not have done it in my 20's-30's - my work then was my life like it sounds like it is for you. We would go out as a team most weeks in the evening (no one had to rush back to families or young children) and it was the whole culture that I thrived on. If I were you I would look for another job because I can imagine being at home all day alone would be soul destroying for some.

@AgentJohnson

I can understand your personal disappointment but the hyperbole was really not necessary.

Strewth mate, bet your fun at parties

@thecatandthevicar

Will it? How?

It will assume that you actually make an effort. If you decide that WFH means going from bed to sofa with laptop back to bed, then it is true, you won't have a life. But that's a choice.

What?

I genuinely do not understand.

Tell me how someone like me doing 2 days at home with a toddler and 3 days in the office can have more of a social life spending those 3 days alone in my living room than in an office with 6 people.

Back to bed. Right. I'm up at 6 7 days a week.

It's true, friends are "friends" at work until the day you get promoted above them. You can be as friendly a manager as you like, the day you have to give them a bollocking, or just have an awkward conversation, things are not as friendly.

You also have to be very mindful to be politically correct, neutral, and be professional at all time.

And nothing stops you from becoming good friend with someone who is not in the same office. Coffee shops, restaurants etc will reopen at some point!

Tell me how someone like me doing 2 days at home with a toddler and 3 days in the office can have more of a social life spending those 3 days alone in my living room than in an office with 6 people.

Same, same. Going back to bed is an absolute pipe dream never mind meeting new friends or taking up a new hobby. I really don’t know where all this extra free time is suppose to have come from. I still have to do just as many hours at work (more at the moment tbh) - even if I didn’t all my friends are still having to do just as many hours at work during the day and still have just as many small children to look after in the evenings.

@JeanClaudeVanDammit

I feel like I need that little "woop woop" 2 hands emoji from Whatsapp!

Essentially I am all for a choice. I am not all for a you-no-longer-have-desk, tough-shit approach. And the "what's not to like" brigade, an actual quote from earlier in the thread, do not help. It makes bosses think we are going to be grateful for what amounts to a massive change in contract.

I wfh now - different job to pre-pandemic -. I see pros & cons of solely home working & ideally a mix would be good. There’s a lot about being in the office I don’t miss, but that may be specific to that job.

@Ellpellwood

Absolutely, choice is the key thing here. As far as I know we’re going back at least part of the week, that’s the only thing that’s been keeping me going through this year at home. If I found out like OP that we weren’t going back at all, I’d be really gutted.

Not in the UK but have been working in the office as normal. I would love a break. A number of colleagues aren't handling the current situation well and are behaving irrationally or have no self awareness. Would love to work from home given a chance but it won't happen.

And Cosmos - good point there. I’m
Pushing 50 so my social life is not centred so much around work like it was in my 20s/30s. I’ve kept my friends from my last job and we WhatsApp and have met for walks etc.

Honestly I feel sad for people where work is their social life. How about make some friends based on common interests during your leisure time?!

@thecatandthevicar

Even if you did rely on work to have a social life, WFH will give you the opportunity to rely on other things and have an even more interesting social life.

But how?? I will have a perfectly reasonable social life in the evenings and weekends when Covid restrictions end, but if we're not allowed back to the office I will still miss out on the work lunches and tea breaks and office chat. To meet friends for lunch during the week I would need them to be living within 5 minutes walk of my house, and sadly none of my friends fall into this category.

YANBU in the past i've been offered a job (approached rather than applied) that would have been working from home and I turned it down twice because this lifestyle is just not for me! It's really isolating and lonely when you live on your own. We're still planning to reopen offices but I would seriously be looking for a new role if they said we're closing them completely.

@Incogweeto

Honestly I feel sad for people where work is their social life. How about make some friends based on common interests during your leisure time?!

I assume you're offering to babysit for those of us that have explained why having small children makes it hard for us to socialise much outside work? That's fab, shall I private message you to sort out dates?

Honestly I feel sad for people where work is their social life.

Why would you feel sad for them? Plenty of people genuinely like the people they work with.

I know it's Mumsnet, but why do people find it so difficult to imagine that other people might think differently, or have different circumstances to themselves?

WFH has been such a gift. I'm already planning the hobbies I can re-start and groups I can re-join that I had to give up on when my life got taken over by work and commuting. My commute is nearly 2 hours each way on packed, unreliable trains. I've never reflected before just how stressful it is. My workday plus commute is 12+ hours. Yes its boring being at home alone all day now but it won't be forever, its just lockdown that means there isn't anywhere else to go at the moment.

Being at home as given me back a personal life. I can take/make phone calls without having to find a quiet corridor to stand in. I can schedule medical/dentist appointments any time and nip out for 30 mins rather than having to book half a day off work. I'm at home to receive deliveries, no more paying extra for a Saturday slot. I can exercise at lunchtime, there's always clean cutlery in the kitchen and nobody steals my milk from the fridge!

However, I've always kept my work and personal life separate. I get on well with my colleagues but we aren't friends outside work. That's what the aforementioned hobbies and groups are for.