New grandson is the favourite

[AIBUlurker]

I think I am potentially being over-sensitive here. I have a son who has just turned one and my sister had a baby a week ago. They are the only two grandchildren in our family.

As soon as my sister announced she was pregnant, my parents kept making comments about how my son would have to get used to no longer being the centre of attention and that he would "have competition now".

Since my sister's son was born, my parents can barely stop talking about him and practically seem to have forgotten about the existence of my son.

Last week I had a day off work to look after my son due to lack of childcare that day. My parents said they would like to meet up with me and my son for a walk - we haven't seen them since the end of November. They hoped they could tie it in with visiting the new grandchild.

However, my sister was overdue and ended up being induced. It became clear the baby wouldn't have arrived the day I had off work, so my parents cancelled seeing me and my son. They didn't want to have to make the effort to drive to the city my sister and I both live in twice in just a few days.

When they did visit the new grandson, it was on a day I was at work and my son at nursery. My parents said they would see us "some other time".

Of course, I get it, a new brand new baby is very exciting, but it just feels like my son is now "old news" and no longer interesting.

I think this is all heightened as my son's entire first year has been spent with lockdowns / covid restrictions so we have barely seen family and many of my friends have never met him.

Has anyone else had a similar experience. Did things settle down after a while? I hope that we are not in for a lifetime of our sons being constantly compared to one another.

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

Im talking about them saying things like 'He's going to have a lot of competition' Like I say you can't say that to or about a kid and not expect to come back resentment or fall out. Its not how life works

God almighty, it’s just one of those inane things that people routinely msay!

It's been a week. You have made massive unfounded extrapolations.

You feel how you feel, but I don't think your feelings are in response to them doing anything wrong - they're feelings that were already there about other things (like covid messing up stuff) that have just been reactivated by recent events.

It's ok to feel them, it's ok to take care of yourself in response to them. It wouldn't be ok to act on them or allow them to damage your relationships.

I would politely pull them up on any “competition “ comments but doubt your mum means anything by it. It’s the sort of stupid nonsense my mother would have said without actually stopping to think about it.

that sort of attitude is exactly how you end up with grandparents babysitting one child, and barely the other, having a relationship with one, and barely the other. It's very sad.

I can't imagine my parents doing similar, or me doing that against my own kids.

If you read some threads, it's usually because they dislike one DIL, but in this case, it's 2 sisters! You'd think parents treat their own daughters equally.

@thecatandthevicar

that sort of attitude is exactly how you end up with grandparents babysitting one child, and barely the other, having a relationship with one, and barely the other. It's very sad.

I can't imagine my parents doing similar, or me doing that against my own kids.

If you read some threads, it's usually because they dislike one DIL, but in this case, it's 2 sisters! You'd think parents treat their own daughters equally.

I knew 2 sisters as kids and their grandparents ignored the older sister and doted on the younger sister. Was really noticeable. The girls mum ended up going NC with her own mum so she couldn’t act like this.

These feeling will pass, don’t worry. Just enjoy your little boy. I actually assumed you were going to say your sister had a girl. My in laws completely favour the grand daughters in our family. 🤮