Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Miserable mother’s day

41 replies

Patriciathestripper1 · 15/03/2021 14:32

We never really do anything on Mother’s Day usually, just breakfast in bed watch a film and have a takeaway.
This mothers day my daughter did me breakfast in bed I opened prezzies and got flowers and got up to go over to the stables to do the horses.. a friend txt to see if she could pop down for a horse related chat so I said yes and she stayed for about an hour and a half.

My husband dislikes this woman so he stayed at the house.
When I got back he was furious saying how I’d spoilt their (him and my daughters) surprise. He pulled a bag of cakes out of the cupboard and tipped them on the table saying this is what we had got and I shouldn’t have invited her here on Mother’s Day ect ect as it’s a family day and how he had planned to do me a special afternoon tea and I’d ruined it for them as they were going to suprise me with it.
I had no idea that he was going to do that and he made me feel totally rubbish to the point of crying and he said I had to apologise to him and our daughter for inviting her over and ruining their suprize. I’m still upset today thinking about it.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 15/03/2021 14:34

Does he just not like you spending time with her so this was your punishment for doing it? He sounds like a controlling knob

CreosoteQueen · 15/03/2021 14:35

He sounds profoundly horrible

Wonderbrush · 15/03/2021 14:36

They could’ve done the afternoon tea when you got back?! It’s not your fault

Ginuwine · 15/03/2021 14:37

There was no need for his violent dramatic gesturing. He sounds controlling. Sorry OP, you didn't do anything wrong.

Sirzy · 15/03/2021 14:37

He sounds like he over reacted but I think with it being Mother’s Day it would have been nice to check first

LunaNorth · 15/03/2021 14:38

Is he always such an arsehole, or does he save it for special occasions?

YoyoLoco · 15/03/2021 14:40

If that was me I would have just told my husband that our DC had arranged a bit of a surprise for father's Day and could he make sure he was back soon so they could give it to him.

How were you supposed to know?! Confused

What a prat.

FangsForTheMemory · 15/03/2021 14:43

I'd tell him mother's day is meant to be about you, not him. He's finding a reason to be nasty to you because he wasn't the centre of attention. No reason he couldn't just postpone his plans, or even phone you and check what time you'd be back and say 'we've got a surprise for you'.

VodselForDinner · 15/03/2021 14:45

Did you know you were married to a prick, or was this his first outing?

Original poster
Patriciathestripper1 · 15/03/2021 14:47

I did say how was I supposed to know you were planning that as he had never done it before in all our years together. I said you could have said we’ve got something planned for this afternoon so make sure she didn’t stay long or something but it was still fault as I’d invited her down.

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · 15/03/2021 14:47

So why didn't he tell you? Sounds like it's a convenient excuse for him to have a strop and spoil what otherwise was shaping up to be a lovely day.

Sparkletastic · 15/03/2021 14:48

Presumably this isn't the only occasion on which he's behaved like a total dick?

bookworm34 · 15/03/2021 14:50

Why couldn't he of done it afterwards? Hmm

Mylovelyhorsee · 15/03/2021 16:26

Why didn’t he use the hour you were away to set up your surprise afternoon tea? Instead he used it to sulk and make you feel bad.

A prince amongst men.

Original poster
Patriciathestripper1 · 15/03/2021 16:53

Yes I did say actually say that to him but he said well it got too late to do it. I think he had the strip because he dosnt like my friend who has actually never been anything but nice up him. I don’t actually think he likes any of my friends at all.

OP posts:
apalledandshocked · 15/03/2021 17:01

@Patriciathestripper1

Yes I did say actually say that to him but he said well it got too late to do it. I think he had the strip because he dosnt like my friend who has actually never been anything but nice up him. I don’t actually think he likes any of my friends at all.
Ahhh well, in that case the simplest way to avoid future conflicts would be to gradually phase all your friends out of your life until he is the only source of support for you. (I am being sarcastic, dont actually do this). But honestly - I think that might, conciously or unconciously, be the main motivation for him acting this way. Its not good.
veganmayo · 15/03/2021 17:03

So he's mad because something that was meant to be about/for you didn't go his way... Lovely. Since this was also your DD's plan I'm wondering if she's upset as well, or only him?

NormanStangerson · 15/03/2021 17:04

He sounds really nasty and controlling, if he makes a point of disliking anyone you make friends with, just in case you try to do something with them rather than being at his beck and call.

NovemberR · 15/03/2021 17:07

What an unpleasant prick you married.

He deliberately spoilt your day - and presumably upset your DD - out of spite. I'd be reconsidering how much of my life I wanted to waste on this dickhead to be honest.

EternalOptimist7 · 15/03/2021 17:09

I’m so sorry OP. What time did your friend actually leave? Was it too late for afternoon tea by then?

mogtheexcellent · 15/03/2021 17:14

Sounds like my abusive prick of a father. Taunted DSis and I with 'I was going to take you to the beach' when we couldnt go to his house post divorce as we had really severe D&V).

He never once took us out, Even when he bloody lived at home. Was just his way of making us feel bad.

Controlling prick.

If your DH cared so much he could have said something. Twat.

Bigpaintinglittlepainting · 15/03/2021 17:20

I bet he doesn’t like your family too, men like this don’t like their wives having friends

greatauntfanny · 15/03/2021 17:20

Horrible thing for him to do, OP. that's something I'd expect from a five year old. Agree with other posters who say it points towards him being controlling, especially as you say he doesn't seem to like any of your friends (and presumably by extension doesn't like you spending time with them). It does sound like he was punishing you for seeing her.

Joinedjustforthispost · 15/03/2021 17:39

He sounds ott in his silly reaction but you sound kind of ungrateful complaining about your crappy day, breakfast in bed with presses, a nice day relaxing watching a movie followed by a takeaway? I feel sorry some ops post on here not getting a lie in or breakfast in bed or a card or even the day acknowleged.

MereDintofPandiculation · 15/03/2021 18:24

but you sound kind of ungrateful complaining about your crappy day What?? She had a massive row with her husband which kind of takes the gloss off anything that went before.