to blame lockdown on my elderly parents sudden deterioration..

[MariaAngustias]

So my sister, me and my daughter are all shocked at how my elderly parents have deteriorated in the last year. From and independent couple (Mum late 70's, Dad mid 80's) who walked for miles, did the gardening and shopping, drove around, went abroad to a couple of frail old people who have lost mobility, confidence and deteriorated so much mentally and physically. I wondered if it was lockdown and then my sister said the same thing. At first during lockdown we did not see them for months but we did zoom and ring a lot, then, as things deteriorated, we had to go in to give care. There is no way of knowing whether it is the case but I just feel like the isolation and being stuck inside has really badly affected them and I want to cry.

Is it partly that you haven't seen them for a while so are more aware of changes? Their lifestyle sounds very like my parents and all this (other than the going abroad for a brief period) continued to remain possible through lockdown. In fact, their lives were actually changed very little by lockdown. My parents have deteriorated over the last year, but I see this as a natural age related thing, rather than anything lockdown related.

Same with my father
Although his health isn’t brilliant he was driving himself in his car doing his shopping & looking after himself quiet well .
Lots of health conditions inc diabetes copd kidney function mobility problems but it was being managed and with help he was ok .
Fast forward 1 year - he’s no longer able to drive
Eyesight has really deteriorated
his mobility is getting worse

After he had his jab in Feb he ended up in hospital after 3 falls in a week and is on his 4th week in hospital at the moment
Can’t walk
Can hardly move anywhere
Can’t use the hand that he had the jab in at all
Diabetes level all over the place
Has had Pneumonia and almost died
Now has another chest infection and is back on Oxygen
I would be very surprise if he leaves hospital
It will either be a care home or the morgue

I was by planning on buying my DF some private physio to help with mobility, as he lost so much. Sadly he’s died, I stayed with my mum after the death and I’m considering that she could do with this, they were shielding and now my previously robust mum is shuffling around.

YABU for getting the title the wrong way round. Lockdown didn't happen because your parents have deteriorated. You mean the reverse (i.e. "for", not "on"). And potentially it could have happened anyway during that time in any individual case.

But YANBU for the real question in general; isolation is no good for mental health or cognitive functioning.

Similar has happened with my Grandparents, and before that a school gate friend was saying similar about her DF, so I think you are probably right.

Same with my grandmother 😥💔

A couple of elderly gentlemen I know who had early signs of dementia for a couple of years, but seemed to be ticking along, meals out and lots of socialising seemed to keep them sharp have become shadows of themselves since April last year. One no longer recognises me and the other has given up walking even. His daughter has had to fit a stair lift for him.

I'm sure it's lack of fitness caused by staying at home. My 87y.o aunt used to be able to walk 2km to the shops and back no problem. She couldn't walk round the block now and has become chair shaped even when standing (knees permanently bent). It's terrifying how quickly fitness falls off a cliff in people over 80. She's mentally as sharp as ever, but has effectively made herself housebound. I think it's a huge problem that lots of us are experiencing.

Older people have always disabled themselves by spending more time sitting down than they should.
While getting a physio in can be great for the right people, they need to be self motivated to carry on moving even when the physio is not there, and sadly a lot of individuals will just not do this.
And can I just beg you all not to get your rellies a riser recliner chair. If they start to use the rise function, their legs will stop being able to get them up from a chair resulting in weakness, loss of balance, falls and all the bad things associated with falls (reduced confidence in mobility resulting in more immobility and more weakness and more falls; fractures; head injuries all of which lead to greater dependence on others for support). Sitting in any recliner encourages immobility.

We've seen this with MIL and FIL, who are only mid 60s. It's like they've shrunk and totally lost their confidence.

My Dad has Alzheimer's disease and he has deteriorated. All the things that were keeping his mind active have been taken away such as theatre, cinema, holidays and socialising. He is also having fixations on things. It makes me so sad 😞

My parents are the same. Early to mid 70s and both have deteriorated physically and mentally in the last year. It's really worrying.

@TheFormidableMrsC

My Dad has Alzheimer's disease and he has deteriorated. All the things that were keeping his mind active have been taken away such as theatre, cinema, holidays and socialising. He is also having fixations on things. It makes me so sad 😞

I know of older men who walked miles and miles while playing golf. A naturally socially distanced sport played outside and banned :(

It's aged my DM, and she knows it , is constantly saying used to be able to do this etc

I am seeing the same with one of my Grandma's.

It is heartbreaking 💔

YANBU, literally having a discussion about care homes today for my elderly FiL who was old but independent 6 months ago, I think he’s just given up. So sad.

Yes, this is definitely a thing

Mum and a neighbour in her 80s stopped the shopping help very early because - luckily - they realised it was leading to physical and cognitive decline.

They also realised fairly early on that it was important to look at data, not propaganda, so they were more rational, but also took the view "get busy living or get busy dying".

I have a neighbour in her 70s who was terrified but tbh all her helpers have lost patience. She went to the shop on her own last week and came back with a big smile. From a supermarket!

So yes, I think there has been a lot of this. Can you persuade them to get out? I realise it's difficult if they might blame you for any consequences.

Same here OP. I’m sorry

Same with my elderly cousin - 84 and was travelling and had social life before lockdown. Definitely not as mobile or mentally sharp. But has improved a little since she had vaccine and feels a bit more confident going out and about. It has made a huge difference.

I work for adult social services and I honestly believe we have prioritised quantity of life over quality of life with devastating results.

My Dm is 70. She's spent so much time alone this last year. Her weight has plummeted, she has started to forget things, including taking her daily medication, and she has to use a walker to get around the flat. The last time I visited her she was sitting with no TV or radio on and staring at the floor. This is a total contrast to before lockdown.
I can't see her currently as she's in hospital atm.

Polite suggestion

Those with concerns, contact local MP

Also contact Sir Charles Walker who has actively requested people contact him, even outside his constituency

If I have missed other MPs speaking about this problem in particular, I imagine Sir Charles will co ordinate responses.

Please don't think "oh they will be fine, it's nearly over". It's really important to feed this back.

One normally sane friend of mum's actually thought mum was risking arrest by going for a little local walk to keep mobile.

@BoKatan

I work for adult social services and I honestly believe we have prioritised quantity of life over quality of life with devastating results.

It’s been obvious for a long time. Very sadly it’s the youngest and the oldest who have suffered the most.

My dad deteriorated rapidly for the he summer to autumn, he’s just been diagnosed with Parkinson’s so hopefully meds would help, but he’s been very low, thinks he’s not long for this world etc.

My mum also deteriorated as she needed a hip replacement, now done...

I’m sure there are so many elderly who are suffering in their final years due to this

My DF died a month into lockdown. He was an alcoholic and had been controlling it pretty well, but I think the isolation hit him hard. My DM also had mental health issues before that, and with losing my dad has struggled.

I'm her support bubble so i see her, but she's been so lonely. Her personality has totally changed, confidence gone. Seems to have aged loads, they were both only late 60s!