To ask you...no, to BEG you...

[Yesitsbess]

Put your house numbers on your house people!

I lost my hospitality job during the lockdown and, as many people have had to, took up a delivery job to make ends meet. I have learned that delivery drivers are grumpy for a reason! Those reasons are numerous.

If you want to help us out for reasons that include: our safety, our being able to park safely, our being able to make the insane time targets we are set by our companies, our not wasting fuel looking for you (both environmentally and efficiency-wise) and you just getting your food/parcels/taxis on-time then please have a look at the following:

1. God tier - people with GIANT NUMBERS IN LIGHTS on their houses AND BINS ( we love you, especially if we deliver after dark) even if we're not delivering to your house, we use you as navigation because Googlemaps is shite.

1. Mid-tier - people who live somewhere hard-to-find but include directions on their order. Your street has 'odds and evens'. You have your number on your door in a colour that is discernible in the dark.

1. Poo-tier - people who live on a New build estate where the developer assigned house numbers by THROWING A CALCULATOR AT A CEILING FAN, and yet they think Google maps will see us right. It will not and we hate you.

1. Hell Tier - people who live on a main road, with long drives spanning off said main road, with NO indication of what house number/name they are at he end of their drive...

1. Seventh circle of Hell tier - you live very rurally and don't provide directions. Or in a very difficult to access place, or you have insane building works on the path, your dog is horrible (please stop your dogs humping and/or biting us - we're on minimum wage, we don't care if he "never does this usually!")

Anyway, if you've read this and think "We're golden!" on this issue, drive around your neighbouring roads at night and try to pick a random number to find - it's a fun game and might help you see what we see?

PUT NUMBERS ON YOUR HOUSES PEOPLE!

Personally I love a good duck menacing, OP.

I’ve written an extensive note with directions but it’s hardly ever read. They call, I explain what was in the delivery note and then they find me. Some are angels who do read but I’ve been screamed at in the street, had the phone slammed down on me and my take away practically slung at me. It’s not some of our faults our address is hidden, it just is.

i have actually realised that we are in poo tier, despite the fact we have our numbers on both our gates.

Our house is fronted and backed by two roads. But the second road is private and unmade so the actual address is the first road, but the letterbox and front door is on the second road. So our address is '112 Grove Gardens' but the letterbox and front door is on 'Toadhopping street' (no number). (In my defence the house is 300 years old and all the houses with the address of Grove gardens actually has their front door and letterboxes on Toadhopping street.)

I suspect it is quite irritating.

OP, as partner of a postie I would also add that anyone with tiny non standard size letterboxes which small parcels and even letters and cards do not fit through without bending, or letterboxes at the bottom of the door so delivery drivers have to bend right over are not thought of highly in this house!

@Yesitsbess

Tonight was "is this number 45?", opened gate with torch on and was immediately menaced by ducks. Menaced.

I have just finished work and the only remarkable thing was being menaced slightly by a duck

You've got to watch ducks.

They're evil b*stards. You go past any pond. They look at you and demand bread with menaces. Then when you run out of Hovis they all get together and talk about you. And then one of them says something nasty (you can hear it in their quacky voice) and their ducky laughter follows you right out of the park.

B*stards!

(You know they are all devil worshippers, don't you? You will often see them, heads below the water, tails bobbing, worshipping The Prince of Duckness. Be afraid. Be very afraid.)

yesitsbess. Thank you for posting. I'm a community midwife and I live through this on a daily basis.

I never understand why people don't have their house number visible. It's like driving Miss Daisy when I'm crawling along trying to figure out which house I'm supposed to be going to.

And don't get me started on the number of times I've been called out in winter, pitch black dark, pissing down rain to a woman in labour and they don't think to put a bloody light on to give a clue where they are 😡

I used to work in Gloucestershire, and for people who don’t know it, the Forest of Dean is pretty remote/isolated given its actual geographical location.

I had a patient whose address was “walk past the farm buildings, across two fields then over the footbridge over stream, and we’re the house just past the trees”. No direct road access. No house name or number. He expected an ambulance crew to lug him on a stretcher across several fields and over a rickety footbridge (apparently made out of logs, not even a proper bridge), six times a week (to and from dialysis). Wouldn’t move anywhere more sensible.

i know it won't help deliveroo or Amazon type delivery drivers, but I don't undersatnd why, when you ring for an ambulance and you are in a "seconds count" type emergency, the call handlers don't - as a matter of routine - suggest that, if there is anyone available can they go out on to the street and wave the ambulance down

Lol my bouncy and very enthusiastic neighbour did this when a wee boy got knocked over in our street (he was fine). She ran up to the main road all bouncing around and waving her arms and the paramedic said to her “🙄 it’s not exactly hard to find”. Which was rude but she is so annoying I took secret pleasure in it.

@3CCC

Would it help if I put the "what3words" name somewhere? Not sure if that a thing delivery drivers use or not???

I live rurally and that app has helped so many times. It's brilliant!

@Yesitsbess

AW YOU GUYS! I wrote my little response and then refreshed the page and you're all here being awesome with your numbers!

It would be hugely helpful if we could all access what3words but I think that's mostly emergency services-related. I mean, I consider food an emergency if I'm hungry but...

I AM LOVING ALL OF YOU WITH YOUR BIG NUMBERS AND BINS! LOVING YOU!

What3words is accessible to everyone - I use it when friends come to visit.

@MinnieMoocher - firstly, good on you for picking yourself up when you lost your job and getting a new/different job. I sincerely wish you all the best! Thank you for highlighting the immense difficulties delivery drivers face. We have a number displayed, but as a result of your post I will get a larger, reflective number now. But mostly, thank you for making me laugh out loud!

Also flats! I always put that there is a lift as it is not obvious. I will start to add where to park and where the entrance is.

I have to go to my other new job now, but thankyou all for commenting and having a think about your numbers and ducks and whatnot.

I told my colleagues a out this thread last night and read out some of your funny address stories, just so you know how much of a topic this is at work, they all then started talking excitedly about their favourite houses with numbers we have favourites!

And also how brilliant it was at Christmas when all the villages went bonkers with the lights and you could both see all the houses AND navigate by giant inflatable Santas/sexy reindeer.

I'm glad we decided the number next to the door (5 inches, brass) wasn't enough and added a decorative cut out to our front window sticky stuff (1 foot high number, effectively back lit at night). We live in a street that is easy to locate but the builders did the continuous numbering way (5 is between 4 and 6). So we realised, quickly as we are close to the start and a very visible house as you come round the corner we would be easy to locate (And give others a chance to count on from us). As a young teen I did a morning paper round, I've also done delivering electoral cards etc I'm very aware of the visibility of house numbers. I'm not impressed with the trend for full words (one hundred and seven on our way to school) that can't be read without being at the door because of the space available.

My DHs job was cleaning cashline machines .
He would get indvidual job sheets for each machine posted to our home.
We then would spend half a day grouping them together using the postcode as a reference.
So one day one we would go and clean all of the machines in one area , day 2 another area and do on for 2 weeks .
To confused things not all machines got cleaned at the same time so if we had a Sainsburys next to a bank of Scotland that wasn't due to be done till 3 days later. We would have to go back

So you can imagine how frustrating it is when postcodes are wrong ,
If the machine is in a shop it's not too bad as obviously shops are relatively easy to find however the ones in places like shopping centres or freestanding ones >> I'm looking at you co-op

@AlCalavicci

Top tip! Sainsburgers it is

On my morning walk I started looking at houses and how well signposted they are, especially if it were dark. My eyes have been truly opened to the poorly signposted.

@TitusPullo

On my morning walk I started looking at houses and how well signposted they are, especially if it were dark. My eyes have been truly opened to the poorly signposted.

Have a look for the tiny 'finger-eater' letterboxes too

This thread has made me think I need to have a word with my neighbour. I live in a block of flats at number 50 My Street, with 12 flats in the same building. Most of us are accessed using a communal entrance but number 12 is on the ground floor and has its own door from the street. The woman who lives there has put a gigantic ‘12’ outside her door and big shiny ‘12’ stickers on her bins, but she isn’t Number 12 My Street, she’s FLAT 12, Number 50 My Street.

I’ve had a few confused delivery drivers call and say they can’t find us and that they’re standing ‘outside number 12’ and then realised they are in the right place, they’re just confused by her signage!

I also used to live in a bit of a strange place that would be hard to find without directions, and it was a building you’d never expect to have flats in it, so I would religiously put very, very clear instructions on ALL deliveries. But sometimes delivery drivers hadn’t read or hadn’t been given the instructions and then it was a nightmare trying to explain over the phone because they would often refuse to believe that yes, I really do mean that building! I always felt very bad though and would add a fiver tip to all my Deliveroo orders to thank them for coming to my weird address

@TitusPullo it's a great game isn't it? I've had to restrain myself from photographing my favourites today.

@FirewomanSam I do NOT like your neighbour.

@Yesitsbess I`ve read a few books lately written by paramedics, they also wish people would put visible numbers at the front of their property, they have wasted valuable time trying to find the destination of an emergency call out.

@ghostyslovesheets

Oh I was about to say YABU but then I remembered the third circle of hell - walks - any place named **walk - fuck me I got lost on the estate I used to work on so many times - looking for 298 fuck me walk? - well park three miles away and - oh look there is 200 fuck me walk ...296, 297 - this must be 298 - NO it's actually number 56 Fuck me again walk - arggh

Yep, I live on a 'walk' in a housing est of 'walks'... the amount of people we have to redirect around the estate. Doesn't help that all our side is 'evens' and they go back 7 rows and the other side are all 'odds' and go back 7 rows. It's hard to describe without drawing a diagram or outing myself.

We've lived here nearly 20 years and only learned 5 years ago the streets are alphabetical 🤦‍♀️

FWIW we have our number on the door, it doesn't stop delivery drivers getting lost 🤣

As a frontline ambulance crew member, you wouldnt believe the amount of time we waste trying to find house numbers.. imagine having to go to a cardiac arrest and you cant locate the property due to lack of clear numbers.. I big clear house number could actually save your life!

I have no house number since getting a new door but delivery drivers have no issues finding me and bringing me everyone else's takeaway food 😂