To ask you...no, to BEG you...

[Yesitsbess]

Put your house numbers on your house people!

I lost my hospitality job during the lockdown and, as many people have had to, took up a delivery job to make ends meet. I have learned that delivery drivers are grumpy for a reason! Those reasons are numerous.

If you want to help us out for reasons that include: our safety, our being able to park safely, our being able to make the insane time targets we are set by our companies, our not wasting fuel looking for you (both environmentally and efficiency-wise) and you just getting your food/parcels/taxis on-time then please have a look at the following:

1. God tier - people with GIANT NUMBERS IN LIGHTS on their houses AND BINS ( we love you, especially if we deliver after dark) even if we're not delivering to your house, we use you as navigation because Googlemaps is shite.

1. Mid-tier - people who live somewhere hard-to-find but include directions on their order. Your street has 'odds and evens'. You have your number on your door in a colour that is discernible in the dark.

1. Poo-tier - people who live on a New build estate where the developer assigned house numbers by THROWING A CALCULATOR AT A CEILING FAN, and yet they think Google maps will see us right. It will not and we hate you.

1. Hell Tier - people who live on a main road, with long drives spanning off said main road, with NO indication of what house number/name they are at he end of their drive...

1. Seventh circle of Hell tier - you live very rurally and don't provide directions. Or in a very difficult to access place, or you have insane building works on the path, your dog is horrible (please stop your dogs humping and/or biting us - we're on minimum wage, we don't care if he "never does this usually!")

Anyway, if you've read this and think "We're golden!" on this issue, drive around your neighbouring roads at night and try to pick a random number to find - it's a fun game and might help you see what we see?

PUT NUMBERS ON YOUR HOUSES PEOPLE!

We have these stickers on our wheelie bins and food bin but also have giant numbers that are visible from the other side of the road and high enough to be seen over cars. If we're expecting a delivery or someone new is driving to our house we have to tell them to ignore the satnav because it'll send them to a different street. We're in London, the house has been here since 1900 and the street was an adopted road before that according to old maps but for reasons unknown, satnav thinks it knows better. I'm going to start including the what.three.words on instructions now.

I actually stopped going to see a couple of local Advent window trails because it was so hard to locate the properties thanks to tiny or non-existent house numbers. I raised it with the organisers and pointed out that if I was unable to identify houses whilst kerb-crawling my way along a dark street, it's likely that emergency services would also struggle.

Loving you God-tier lot! LOVING YOU!

Late to the party but I feel your pain OP!

I used to get so frustrated trying to find client's houses (or on one occasion a B&B I was staying in on a business trip) with NO number, NO light and NO directions. It brings out the rage in me.

It's just plain selfish and inconsiderate.

I'm hoping I qualify for God-tier! We have 2 clear house name signs (XXXX Cottage) and number signs - one at the end of our short drive. One on the house itself. We always give clear directions. We have a light sensor and a porch light.

The only thing is we don't have a number on our bins because it probably wouldn't help as they live at the house end of our drive, behind our cars!

Do I still get approval?

The B&B one REALLY annoyed me - I'm paying money to stay at your house and you give me sod-all directions. The house is in an unlit road and your signage is neither clear nor lit! When I mentioned (politely) that you were "hard to find" no apology came out of the owner's rather snootily-pursed lips!

Of course, the whole thing is made a million times worse by the fact that they are often no bloody street signs either!!!

Yes @Casiloco that's some God tier shiz right there!

I am briefly here to warn you all that EASTER WREATHS THAT OBSCURE YOUR DOOR NUMBER WILL RESULT IN SWAMP TIER

You heard me....swamp tier.

@prawntoastie why do you hate their garden? What did it do to you?

Sorry OP, but lets just say

Easter Wreaths result in swamp tier
I mean what even is an easter wreath? what new level of ridiculousness have we hit now?

@steppemum

Sorry OP, but lets just say

Easter Wreaths result in swamp tier
I mean what even is an easter wreath? what new level of ridiculousness have we hit now?

I was thinking the exact same thing

As a tradesperson I have to visit properties to quote. I spend a great deal of my time driving along at 5mph trying to see a door number, usually with a van up my bumper and always, always muttering “This would be so much EASIER if you put a door number on your effing gate!”.

Those stupid Christmas door ribbons and door number covering wreathes of any kind are the work of Satan.

I have suggestion for a Christmas decoration.
Beautiful wreath, with lights, with your house number in the centre of the circle, 6" high.

I think there could be a market for them.

Or a Santa Stop here at no. 47 sign.

@YesItsBess I am ordering bin numbers now and very tempted by some rainbow ones - but they may be less visible than the white or yellow ones. Do you have A View on rainbow numbers please? I don't want to accidentally condemn myself to swamp tier.

@3CCC Oh there's a wreath for everything now. Stupid festive door obscuring bastard things. I often get an overwhelming urge to use them to play quoits on the nearest bollard. But I do not, because I am not a thief of joy. I do want to though. SO MUCH.

@Woobeedoo I think one of the nice things about lockdown is that pretty much everyone on the road has been a delivery person or tradesperson or medical person crawling along at 5mph doing the same thing! In some ways it's been bliss.

But yes on wreaths, if we can't find you behind your stupid giant wreaths the I bet the sodding Easter Bunny and Santa can't either! Bah!

@steppemum Loving your work as always, and I have thought this myself. I may run a wreath-making course next December with a helpful section on how to make GIANT GLITTERY NUMBERS to go on them.

@KarmaViolet I don't have strong opinions (I spotted the rainbow ones a ways back thread in the Range for 99p. NINETY NINE P!) and I will award you God tier whatever your choice. Peace be with you my child.

I have a new one inspired by last nights shift. Please do not line the sole path to your front door with mature rose bushes. They may look lovely when they flower (I'm sure they do). But in the dark (because you don't have an outside light and are set back from the street lights) they will look no different to any other plant until they attack both my hand and my jacket.

@Mylittlesandwich PREACH!

Ditto for traipsy bastard plants that trip me over.

Again, do not start me on hedges.

I work in emergency services. The amount of time we can lose trying to locate houses is ridiculous. If you have a house name and not a number, or a difficultly numbered Road and you want to stand a chance should you or a loved one need emergency care, then at least put up a visible fucking sign outside your house. Drives me mad. Especially when you spend 5 mins driving randomly up and down the road and I finally locate your address and there are 4 adults there all flapping, and not one had the sense to come look for an ambulance

.

Just bought my aunt a new house number for her birthday she has one of those oval plaque house numbers that is really small, left over from the days when deliveries weren’t a thing. Emergency services was a thing though but now she is getting older and having falls, she will be glad of a massive house number.

@Meme69 I will refer people to this, and to the midwives, doctors, health visitors, nurses and firefighters when I get one of those snotty "why should I change my house for a delivery driver?" replies! Won't do it for me? Do it for them!

@BluePeterVag Get in! That's the God tier stuff we are looking for on here!

Omg I was thinking this the other day picking something up from marketplace !!! It was number 423 or something and it was impossible to find on a big main road as no one has bloody numbers!!

I once had to go to a house in a road of several hundred houses. After much searching, I rang for directions. I said his house was difficult to find because there were no numbers, and he said, “It doesn't need a number – it's the biggest house in the road!”

Maybe he should have included that information in the address.

@WendyMAD That's a corker.

@Blueeyedgirl21 feel the pain! Feel it!

Tonight I saw at least ten houses with suspiciously new-looking bin numbers. I like to think word is getting out...

I'm so sorry, we have a house name and it's on the wall behind where we park our cars, has been since we move in, it's on my list to move it so it can be seen from the road🙈🙈

@iammeiamme don't fret! You've identified the problem and you're fixing it, if you look back to page...11 I think, someone posted a link to really nice house name signs that are reflective so we can see them when our lights hit them. 10/10 would recommend.

drove downt he road yesterday and LOTS of bins have new numbers.

I didn't think there were that many mumsnetters round here.

Also popped roudn to friends with birthday card and she had new number on her front door. She is a mumsnetter, but as she said, Amazon definitely know where their house is....

I got thanked by the Waitrose driver for having a light over my house number.

I too have noticed a suspicious amount of shiny new GOD TIER numbers and bin stickers!

I bloody love mumsnet sometimes.