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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU being upset

67 replies

Lynniepoo · 14/03/2021 18:09

I've been with my partner for nearly 2 and half years and living with him since the first lockdown last year. He's always very secretive with his phone and he's constantly getting messages day and night, so I other day he went to work and left it at home. He doesn't know I know the passcode and I know I shouldn't have looked but I did and on Instagram messenger he's messaged some woman saying how amazing she looks and he's very jealous of her husband and can she send him nude pics on messenger so her husband can't see and she won't get into trouble that way!!! Thankfully she replied saying she doesn't do that but now I don't know what to do, our sex life had always been very good and I'm already very insecure about my body after having 3 c sections and this other woman hasn't had any kids and has a washboard stomach. I also found out that he didn't get divorced years ago but that it only came through on 1st March this year...obviously I can't confront him because it's my own soft fault for looking but I really don't know what to do, has anyone been in a similar situation

OP posts:
BlueSuffragette · 15/03/2021 06:49

Good to hear to are leaving him OP. He is revolting.

SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 15/03/2021 07:16

@Lynniepoo

Thanks everyone I'm leaving him on Thursday when he's back in work so he won't know until he gets home and when he contacts me I'll tell him then exactly why I've left
Good for you, you deserve better
Easterbunnygettingready · 15/03/2021 07:25

Well done - he sounds like a hormonal teen..

TheChosenTwo · 15/03/2021 07:28

Well done for reaching this decision, he’s a slime ball and would make my skin crawl every time I had to see him after that revelation.
You’re far better off without someone like that in your life Flowers

Snorkello · 15/03/2021 07:36

Well done OP!

“Off he fucks”. Best. Comment. Ever. @JorisBonson I’m borrowing that one.

JollyJlly · 15/03/2021 10:39

Good luck sending a virtual hug.

StoneofDestiny · 17/03/2021 16:42

👏👏👏

WisnaeMe · 17/03/2021 16:56

good luck tomorrow 🌺

londongirl12 · 17/03/2021 17:00

You're doing the right thing. No one deserves men like that.

Flowers24 · 17/03/2021 17:02

Id confront him and ask, you have to

GoWalkabout · 17/03/2021 17:08

Just tell him you have decided he's not good enough for you. Let him always wonder.

Swordfish1 · 17/03/2021 17:14

Good decision OP. What a tosser.

When you tell him why. Just say something like I know you've been asking for nude pictures from other women.

And leave it at that. Then no further contact.

That's as much explanation as he deserves.

Yesmate · 17/03/2021 17:16

Well done OP. No need for a conversation. Good on you!

Moomin12345 · 17/03/2021 17:20

Do not get sucked back in by his pathetic apologies if you've got any self estieem.

Original poster
Lynniepoo · 17/03/2021 21:19

I'm still planning on leaving tomorrow I told him I was and that I'm not happy anymore but he's acting as if I haven't said anything and is still talking about things we've got to do at the weekend and next week?? Just poured myself a glass of wine hopefully it'll make me feel stronger and actually go through with it....I also told him about my post saying it was another woman who write it and I read him all the comments and his reply was 'well there's two sides to every story and no one is asking the man why he did it and maybe she's just a bitch!' I bet if I managed to go on his messages again he will have deleted it now, wish me luck and thanks for all your support and also my kids are all grown up now so they are there for me as well x

OP posts:
Milkshake7489 · 17/03/2021 21:38

His attempts to downplay and deny what he has done just prove how much of a knob he is.

Well done for ending things OP, you deserve so much better.

Now get yourself in a bubble with a friend or one of your children and grab a glass of wine or slice of cake to celebrate your new found freedom! Wine

JustDespair · 17/03/2021 21:43

@Lynniepoo

You can do this. Ignore him. He is trying to act like everything is okay as a way of stopping you from leaving. You know what he has done and you know it isn't okay. Do not stay with this man.

JollyJlly · 17/03/2021 21:44

You’ve got this. Sending strength.

Swordfish1 · 18/03/2021 07:49

Good luck today op.

YouBringLightInToADarkPlace · 19/03/2021 01:04

Did you have the confidence to do it today OP?

WisnaeMe · 19/03/2021 01:42

🌺

CartBfree · 19/03/2021 01:46

Howd it go?

Original poster
Lynniepoo · 20/03/2021 21:23

Thanks everyone, I've finally left and confronted him and it turns out there were 4 women he's been asking for pics etc and according to him it was just a bit of fun and he wasn't in the least bit bothered that I was upset he was more annoyed by the fact that I looked at his phone. I pity the next poor woman.

OP posts:
Wellpark · 20/03/2021 21:52

Stay strong and don't go back. Good luck 🤞

jelly79 · 20/03/2021 21:56

Good for you! Sting lady who knows her worth 😍

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