Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do I need to report myself to the police?

123 replies

darkclouds232 · 14/03/2021 13:37

Please help as I am going crazy.

I had a driving incident which was totally my fault - there was a railway bridge, so I had to go through a narrow tunnel which was 'give way' to traffic on the other side. I had my sunglasses on as there was intermittent sunshine, and as I was going through I then saw there was a cyclist in the other direction. He went past me and shouted something. I was shocked because I hadn't seen him and obviously I was in the wrong as he had priority and i shouldn't have been under bridge at same time as him.

I didn't notice anything at time but now I'm wondering if I somehow touched him or something? I didn't hear anything but obviously I wasn't all there mentally to have not noticed him in the first place. I feel awful and a total danger and I won't be driving again for a while.

Do I need to report to the police in case this was an incident and I didn't stop? Should I have stopped? I don't know if he had a camera and May report my driving, but I'm more worried in case there was a chance I touched him and I didn't notice.

OP posts:
notacooldad · 14/03/2021 14:42

However, it was a tunnel -probably poorly lit so if he had no lights/high vis, it would have been hard to spot him even if the driver was looking.
Completely not the point or relevant to the thread. The op was totally in the wrong. Even if he was wearing a jester outfit she still would have come too close and it still would have been her fault.

userxx · 14/03/2021 14:43

Don't worry op, the guy should have had lights on his bike. I almost knocked a lad off his motorised scooter last week, he was dressed all in black, the scooter was black and it was nighttime. Would have been his fault completely 🤷‍♂️

Shineonyoucrazy · 14/03/2021 14:45

I react like this at the slightest driving blip. I've turned round to see if I hit someone to find or was a pothole. If you'd hit him or skimmed him you'd know. A cyclist wobbled against my car when I was stationary in a queue and it was really obvi

Shineonyoucrazy · 14/03/2021 14:46

Obvious. Don't think about it any more xx

LizB62A · 14/03/2021 14:47

Did he have any lights on while cycling through the tunnel?
Was he wearing any high vis gear?

Why are some people trying to blame the cyclist?
He might not have ever been that way before and didn't know there was a tunnel that he'd have to go through.
As a cyclist (and a driver) sometimes you have to change your planned route.

OP - if you had had your headlights on when driving under the tunnel you would have seen him.

Did you stop and check that he didn't actually fall over?

You don't actually need to hit a bike/cyclist to cause them to fall - he might have had to take evasive action to avoid you hitting him.
That's why cars are meant to give 1m space when passing a bike - "not hitting them" isn't enough.....

lljkk · 14/03/2021 14:48

I can only understand feeling this bad about it if you think that most ppl don't fuck up all the time. Try to do better next time, chalk it up to experience. Sounds like no actual harm done

NormanStangerson · 14/03/2021 14:49

@darkclouds232

I didn't notice any lights and he was in dark clothing. I'm just worried I'm going to be in trouble because it could easily have been a head on collision and it was my fault for not seeing him.

Yes I suffer from anxiety.

I mean this kindly, but you need to try to stand back and look at this rationally. You didn’t see him, you didn’t hit him (you’d have known about it, even a stone chip sounds like a billet in a car), you didn’t have right of way but as you didn’t see him, that’s moot, and you’ve learnt to not wear unpolarised sunglasses into sunshine and to always look for bikes. Now I think you should let it go.
userxx · 14/03/2021 14:57

@LizB62A cyclists should be taking responsibility if they are sharing the road with cars. It's not about blaming them.

LadyOfLittleLeisure · 14/03/2021 14:58

I might be totally off here, but do you get thought processes like this often? I have OCD and it's a hallmark characteristic...

DIshedUp · 14/03/2021 14:59

Hes not going to be cycling past you shouting if you touched him op! He'd be at best on the floor.

Look you made a mistake, a stupid one but no one was hurt. These things happen, next time just take better care going under the bridge

Peachee · 14/03/2021 15:00

No you are 100% necessarily panicking and your mind is running wild. Just be aware that it will probably run wild for a bit as the incident has probably upset you a bit.. your anxiety and nerves will calm down and it will be forgotten.. honestly.. frazzled nerves and an over active mind can cause some serious psychological havoc.
Don’t worry.. you definitely do not need to contact the police!

Chanjer · 14/03/2021 15:02

He could still report you for a near miss if he's got footage

Driving without due care and attention, which is what was happening but your own admission

DdraigGoch · 14/03/2021 15:02

This reply has been deleted

We think this humour a bit misjudged so we are deleting this comment

IttyLot · 14/03/2021 15:03

Sorry OP but I think you're overreacting massively tbh.

Peachee · 14/03/2021 15:03

@LizB62A you are not a nice person (you probably don’t care actually by the look of your post) go and buzz around in someone else’s bonnet!!!!!

NormanStangerson · 14/03/2021 15:03

I thought that society had moved on from asking about what the victim was wearing

👏🏻

Peachee · 14/03/2021 15:04

And another one @Chanjer pure scaremongering.. yawn!!

Chanjer · 14/03/2021 15:06

Not really. OP mentioned that she was worried about being caught on camera, which sounds like their primary concern

Just cos you didn't hit someone doesn't mean it's not a driving offense

DdraigGoch · 14/03/2021 15:07

[quote userxx]@LizB62A cyclists should be taking responsibility if they are sharing the road with cars. It's not about blaming them. [/quote]
The cyclist has been entirely compliant with the law.

Rangoon · 14/03/2021 15:07

I think you are just obsessing because if you had hit that cyclist you would have noticed. You would have felt the impact. He wasn't knocked off his bike and it seems he cycled off. I am sure you both got a terrible fright from your mistake. All drivers though make mistakes or errors of judgment at some point or other. I wouldn't report myself to the police over this and in any case I am not sure what the police would do if you did report yourself because there are no details and no evidence whatsoever that you actually hit anybody. Make a modest donation to a charity if it makes you feel better.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 14/03/2021 15:12

@Chanjer

He could still report you for a near miss if he's got footage

Driving without due care and attention, which is what was happening but your own admission

She didn't injure anyone or cause an accident so the police are highly unlikely to do anything even if it was reported. Why would they care about an almost accident? They happen every single day.
Peachee · 14/03/2021 15:13

@Chanjer it won’t be an offence unless it is reported by a witness or witnessed by a passing officer.. things haven’t got to that point.. and they are probably unlikely to either! The cyclist was just scared himself.. You are getting way ahead of yourself. The poor poster is really worried about something they obviously feel remorse and worry for and all you are able to do is cause more concern and guilt. Can’t you see that.. it’s not nice or kind.. when people are suffering maybe try a gentler approach instead of slamming offences on the table.

Chanjer · 14/03/2021 15:17

Read road.cc

People report near misses all the time. They have a weekly feature on it

I was just saying that if OP is simply preempting a report then it's not just collisions that people report

userxx · 14/03/2021 15:19

I thought that society had moved on from asking about what the victim was wearing.

Yeah because let's compare a cyclist with a rape victim. Fucking outrageous and massively insulting.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread