To think they were wrong all those years ago?

[WhoisRebecca]

All the stuff in the press about women’s safety at night at the moment has got me thinking. This is probably a pointless thread, because this happened 20 years ago, when I was 21 and working at a boarding school. Walking back to the school at night with my headphones in, a man followed me into the school grounds and I sensed him behind me. As I turned around he pulled my skirt up and I think I shouted and waved my umbrella at him and he ran off.

My first reaction when I got back to the boarding house was to phone my mum. I was in shock. The boarding house mistress, a woman old enough to be my mum, pulled me into her office and said that my mum had rung her and also contacted the police about it. She showed no sympathy and said that I had put the girls in the boarding house at risk by not telling her immediately. I’m still angry, all these years later. I remember feeling ashamed. I know it’s stupid really and I should just let it go now. It only bothers me when I think about it.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Their reaction was wrong. They should have supported you. At the same time I guess they may have been worried about the other girls and that came out in anger so it may not have been coming from a bad place.

As an aside, I think a lot of women are remembering stuff that's happened to them like this at the moment and it's really horrible, both all the things that have happened and that so few of us have received the kind of support that we should. You're not alone but we can all support each other

I think her first duty should have been to make sure I was ok. Employers also have a duty towards their staff. It shouldn’t matter now, anyway. I was just thinking.

The girls hadn’t been assaulted though. I actually had. Forget my duty as a member of staff, in that moment I was a victim first and a member of staff second. We are humans, not automatons.

Just to add. It was not an attempted assault.

The man pulled my skirt completely up, exposing my underwear. That is assault.

Thank you all for the comments . I’m sorry so many of us have had experiences like this.

You shouldn’t feel bad about anything. You were in shock and you did what you thought was right at the time. The police were called immediately so I can’t understand why your employer thought anyone was at risk.

My younger sister and I were flashed in a park when I was 13 and she was 9. We never told anyone. I hope he never went on to assault anyone but it certainly isn’t the responsibility of two children to ensure that he didn’t. You are not to blame for any of this.

You did nothing wrong and your mum was supportive and a loving mum.

Thank you, I think the house mistress possibly reacted in shock herself but I do agree it could have been dealt with more kindly.