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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be cross at having to contribute to work collections whilst on maternity leave?

32 replies

homerton · 07/11/2007 09:16

I know that this will make me sound mean but I am totally pissed off with it. Whenever I pop in I am being told that I owe money, last time £47, for a variety of different collections. I continue to pay the £5 a month card fund which I don't mind, its all the money for flowers and presents that is beginning to annoy me. I have just had a text from secretary saying she put in £10 for a weddind collection on my behalf. But I am going to this wedding and have bought a present off the list already. I know that I was on the receiving end when my baby pressie came so feel that I am unable to complain but I really can't afford it as on no muney at the moment.

OP posts:

hana · 07/11/2007 09:18

how bizarre that you have to contribute when you're not there

hertsnessex · 07/11/2007 09:18

yanbu - i think you need to tell them to count you out whilst you are away.

crokky · 07/11/2007 09:21

In my old office, only people who were there contributed, and only if they wanted to!! YANBU!! Agree with hertsnessex - tell them to count you out whilst you are away.

margoandjerry · 07/11/2007 09:22

£5 a month card fund? Does someone take a commission from Clinton's?

What a load of rubbish. If there are that many people coming and going they can't be people that you all care about that much. Sounds like it's a tradition that's got out of hand. Tell them you won't be contributing while you're in leave (I'd think about making that permanent but I'm a miserable old bag).

chopchopbusybusy · 07/11/2007 09:27

I'd definitely make it clear that I was opting out while on maternity leave. I'd be surprised that others are happy with the level of gift giving either. It probably just needs one person to suggest that it's all gone a bit over the top now.

lemonaid · 07/11/2007 09:30

at £5 a month card fund.
at excpeting £10 contribution from an individual to a wedding fund.

And that's before factoring in the fact that you are on maternity leave.

How many people work where you are?

Original poster

homerton · 07/11/2007 09:38

There are probably 40 - 50 at any one time and it is a friendly workplace. But it has gotten out of hand , normally the envelope comes round and there are notes in (for big things like retirement) so you can't put in coins. Also there are often suggested amounts so that you can't contribute any less. The envelope doesn't go to those who are poorly paid, they have some sort of separate thing going on with the secretary. But recently its been silly imo, collections for the 2 work experience people and a flowers because someone is a granny for the first time!

OP posts:

Maveta · 07/11/2007 09:44

omg definitely definitely tell them to count you out, and as for the wedding I would probably also tell them, oops well I've already bought a present, sorry, if only you'd have checked.... But then I am probably meaner than you

it does sound ridiculous and if it were me I'd have said something by now purely because I can't afford that kind of thing.

ConnorTraceptive · 07/11/2007 09:49

OMG that is totally ridiculous, we used to have lots of collections where i worked but envelopes just stayed in the office and you just contributed what you wanted to.

Very rude to assume you would want to put in £10 without asking. Would text back and say sorry I've already bought an individual present.

ClaphamLauren · 07/11/2007 09:50

Will you still get a birthday present if your birthday falls whilst you're on mat leave?

Original poster

homerton · 07/11/2007 09:50

When the text about the wedding came I was just so cross and rang up but of course they have bought it now and the secretary tell me "oh dear well I suppose I'll have to go back to everyone else and ask for 50p and tell them why. What a hassle." So I feel bad and say not too worry as I think she'll put a spin on it so that everyone thinks I'm Miss Mean. I know that is a bit pathetic but that's me all over.

OP posts:

kslatts · 07/11/2007 09:51

Seems really odd tht they would put money in for you and then let you know afterwards, where I work if you are there when the collection is passed round you put something in, we would never consider putting money in for someone on maternity leave.

shoptilidrop · 07/11/2007 09:56

no id be cross too.
It is difficult though, when you dont want to look mean. Are you planning on going back to work? if so maybe try to sort it out. If your not, just ignore all texts etc....

Ive worked as a temp before and have been expected to contribute to collects, ive just said ' oh dear, ive no cash, ill put something in tomorrow' then just left it.

Niecie · 07/11/2007 10:06

yanbu - you should give only if you want to give. You may be on maternity leave but what if you decide you don't want to come back. Are they going to come round your house with the bill?

What if you don't like the person and wouldn't have put into their collection any way? You may not even know them if they started since you have been off.

I don't suppose it would be so bad if it was £5 or £10 but £47 at a time when your earnings are reduced! They are having a laugh!

And who decides if you are poorly paid? You could be a well-paid single mother who needs every penny you have or you could be a poorly paid but comfortably off with a partner who works?

Original poster

homerton · 07/11/2007 10:14

I know that is a grey area so I suppose the all knowing secretary decides. Look it is a primary school and everyone is quite close and everyone knows everyone's business. But I was shocked that contributions were being made for me that I now have to come good on. There are also loads of sponsored things going on, race nights, etc and I suppose when its drip drip you don't notice but when it £47 and then £38 before that its all a bit more of a drain.

OP posts:

lemonaid · 07/11/2007 13:32

At the very least you should make it clear that as you are now on NO money you'd prefer to be in the "poorly paid" group (I mean, you don't get much more poorly paid than nothing) rather than the "Oh, just chip in £10 from me any time you feel like it" group.

jelliebelly · 07/11/2007 13:38

YANBU. This sounds like something that has got completely out of hand. It also sounds like it must be a full time job for said secretary to keep co-ordinating, buying cards and pressies etc. I work in a mainly male environment and you are lucky if anybody even acknowledges that somebody has got married or had a baby let alone putting money into a collection for it!

I bet if you asked around you are not the only one who feels like this. TBH I don't think the maternity leave thing is the real issue here...

margoandjerry · 07/11/2007 16:36

I bet if you raised it in a staff meeting (when you are back) everyone would be secretly really pleased (apart from the person who gets a kick out of organising flowers for someone who has become a grandmother for the first time - that person does not have enough to do).

PurlyQueen · 07/11/2007 16:40

You don't need an explanation on how you decide to spend your money. Drop them a friendly note asking them to count you out while you are not in the office.

LazyLinePainterJane · 07/11/2007 17:26

Surely someone is making money out of this? £5 a month for cards? Assuming that only 50% of people contribute that is a total of over £100 a month! A conservative estimate. For cards and flowers and then people are donating £10 at a time for other events.....

LazyLinePainterJane · 07/11/2007 17:28

Just re-read and realised that the card fund does not cover flowers.

Original poster

homerton · 07/11/2007 17:34

I never really thought that through before, it does seem like a lot of money, if there is any left at the end of the year the person organising it sometimes buys lottery tickets or cakes. I think that because I was sent both new baby and then Christening presents I feel that I am being a bit mean. I phoned a colleague and asked her advice and she said that the last collection was for a supply teacher who worked there for 3 weeks! She said that she would support me in a meeting when I return in a few weeks.

OP posts:

dee24 · 07/11/2007 17:44

What a lot of money! I'm pretty sure there will be loads more not happy about that!
I used to work in a lovely large office where there were collections for everyone(40 staff) but you decided whether you were contributing and you only put in what you could afford, think the average was a couple of quid. That bought a card and a cake for birthdays. We got presents for special occassions ( I got pressies for my 18th and 21st ) but again you only put in what you could afford and if you wanted to. Our evil secretary did at one point keep a note of who put money in etc and tried to make it so the card was only signed by those who did but the managers quickly stopped that as it was a bit cruel to those with little cash.

glaskham · 07/11/2007 17:49

there is no way that cards for people will come to £100 a month!!! saying everyone has their birthday at 50 staff thats less than one a week on average but yet if everyone contributed then that £200 on 4 cards a month????

where is all the extra £££'s going? or where do they get their cards from?? do they know hallmarks sell FANTASTIC ones for a couple of £ max!!!!

Swedes2Turnips1 · 07/11/2007 17:55

If it annoys you, chances are it annoys others as well. Send an email, use green credentials to mask your tightwad credentials: "Why don't we send free e-cards, much greener... blah blah". A £5 a month card fund is ridiculous. It made me laugh out loud. Presumably everyone who pays £5 per month to the card fund will be the lucky recipient of a card when it is their birthday, get married or have a baby or perhaps even die (or perhaps you don't bother as they cease to pay the £5 per month and therefore are not eligible?). Find me a man or a woman who would rather hreceive a birthday card over £60 per annum (£5 x 12) in their pocket and you have found a fool. Stop this nonsense at once.

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